NOM

Alright brethren and sisters, we are a week away from GC. Tonight was the RS session, which is technically part of GC but it's treated more like a pre-party, a sad, sad pre-party.

Tomorrow we will hear all about how we must prepare to listen to our living prophet and the 12 apostles,(who are also somehow prophets, seers and revelators? ?) blah, blah. And that's a hard thing to hear as a NOM. And you also might remember back to your TBM days when you might have liked GC. I loved it when I was TBM. And so all of this can lead to some complicated emotions for us NOMs.

So this year I think we should prepare for General NOMfrence. Let's prepare by thinking of some fun things we can do before, during and after GC to make it fun for us.

For example, what if we gave awards to the conference speakers:
or


or
There is always that 70 that is just so stoked to use his GC talk to tell everyone how awesome he is. And why not? Who wouldn't love a $120K raise?

Okay so when I was making the pic for "sexist" I misspelled it and the auto correct put sexiest. And I was like sh*t why not? Let's give a sexiest talk award.
And this one
was inspired by Renlund's last years GC talk where he started to talk sh*t about all of "those poor people" in Africa who need welfare. It's like he didn't even realize that "those people" might be listening, or eagerly awaiting the works of his talk.

So tomorrow when they start talkin' about GC and you start to fell NOM feelings, focus on General NOMfrence. What other awards can we give? Should we take bets on who will win the awards? Should we dust of our seer stones and try to divine what other crazy things the Q15 might bring to GC?

Think about it. And lets prepare for a kick a$$ General NOMfrence!!

This is the best post! Lol

A special award should be given to the use of the Latin phrase Confidimus Videns Lapides (We trust Seer Stones).

MoPag wrote: ↑Sat Mar 25, 2017 8:43 pm
Tomorrow we will hear all about how we must prepare to listen to our living prophet and the 12 apostles,(who are also somehow prophets, seers and revelators? ?).

These are really fun!

I don't plan to watch, at all, but will be interested in seeing the fallout.

The reason I pulled out this statement is I want to know when this happened. I grew up in Salt Lake in the same neighborhood as the apostles and prophet. The prophet was the prophet. The apostles were the apostles. Period. It made things less confusing. If two of the Q15 disagreed (and they did), it as a simple matter of asking myself apostle or prophet. If it was the prophet, the prophet won. If the disagreement was between two apostles, I would reason this way. They are called General Authorities. They give general advice. They aren't called Specific Authorities. When two disagree, I look at the two statements and choose the one that is a better fit for my specific life. It's called teaching them correct principles and letting them govern themselves.

I didn't rank the apostles. They were all equal in my mind. I might pay special attention to the senior apostle, because he was an indicator of how the church could go in the future, if he outlived the sitting prophet, so he might not ascend the throne. At the end of the day, the prophet was the prophet (PSR) and the apostles were messengers.

This view of making them all PSRs wasn't something I encountered until I went to the Y. I thought it was cultural. I noticed it was a view most commonly held by Californians. They thought I was some evil Jezebel until I'd tell them Monson, Kimball, Mckonkie, Oaks, Nelson, etc. were all my parents' neighbors.

Lo and behold, I come across recent talks stating they are all PSRs. This was news to me! I see people tie themselves into sailor knots trying to obey fifteen or more masters. Even with the current teaching of their all being PSRs, I still use my old guideline. Much simpler.

I've recently reconnected with old classmates on Facebook. My sister still lives in that area. The church is different there. It's much more flexible. Much more open. Much more tolerant of differing views (to a degree). A lot of young people move to that area, driving up the home prices, because they want to get on the apostle track. I think it might be worth being in the same area as the apostles simply because they seem to be much more tolerant, much more open. Alas, trop cher.

MoPag wrote: ↑Sat Mar 25, 2017 8:43 pm
For example, what if we gave awards to the conference speakers:

Fixed this a little.

hmb wrote: ↑Mon Mar 27, 2017 7:02 am

MoPag wrote: ↑Sat Mar 25, 2017 8:43 pm
For example, what if we gave awards to the conference speakers:

Fixed this a little.

Thanks! That is perfect!

Kori- those are awesome!!!

Can't wait to see who wins!!! It's like the Oscars for Mormons.

How about the cash cow award for best talk on tithing...

For the most misapplied analogy/modern parable this spring.

Well done 2bizE and Ulmite. Those are great awards! And we will probably have lots of contenders for them.

Most homophobic talk award? Winner gets a T-shirt!

Red Ryder wrote: ↑Tue Mar 28, 2017 10:34 am Most homophobic talk award? Winner gets a T-shirt!

Bednar is gonna rock that! Although, I wonder if he has ever worn a t-shirt?

MoPag wrote: ↑Tue Mar 28, 2017 2:25 pm Bednar is gonna rock that! Although, I wonder if he has ever worn a t-shirt?

Only under his white shirt and tie. It's called the authorized pattern.

Actually, I bet he sleeps in his white shirt and tie.

Red Ryder wrote: ↑Tue Mar 28, 2017 2:41 pm

MoPag wrote: ↑Tue Mar 28, 2017 2:25 pm Bednar is gonna rock that! Although, I wonder if he has ever worn a t-shirt?

Only under his white shirt and tie. It's called the authorized pattern.

Actually, I bet he sleeps in his white shirt and tie.

Actually, the authorized pattern is called a p-shirt (polygamy shirt) not a t-shirt.

Well, to be fair we have to wait an extra 6 months before awarding this one, but well worth the wait!

Most inelegant use of tears in the delivery of a talk.

Most grating and annoying woman's voice in a syrupy talk.

Corsair wrote: ↑Tue Mar 28, 2017 8:45 pm Most inelegant use of tears in the delivery of a talk.

Can we go ahead and award this to Eyring in advance?