NOM

I had a conversation with an old friend who has been excommunicated twice for adultery. I have always tried my best not to pass judgment but to just listen. Yesterday, I found out that he is disappointed in me, but happy I found where I want to be in religion. It was a guilt-trip conversation with lots of stuff about Henry VIII and how sad it is I no longer literally believe. That I'm going to come back to the "truth" again some day.

For some reason, it just felt horrible being looked down upon by this particular person. I know it is stupid to feel upset over it considering their current state in the LDS church. I think that's what makes it all the worse.

Why do I even care?

So sorry document. I don't even knw where to start on that one. I am not in your shoes or his. One of my favorite people on the planet is twice exed for adultery and he has one of the strongest testimonies I know of the church.

I may be where you are some day. I don't know if I can handle the judgment from family and community. As I hear the stories from those who left and how it kills relationships it hurts my heart.

We are in a pickle with this all. Damned if we do, damned if we dont.

Sending love your way. I for one respect you immensely! You have not lost faith or taken the easy way! Trust in yourself and God. Mankind will always fail you!

document wrote: ↑Tue Feb 28, 2017 6:19 am Why do I even care?

If you ask me (and since you posted it on here, I'll take that as asking me) it's probably because of this:

document wrote: ↑Tue Feb 28, 2017 6:19 am an old friend

If there's one thing I've found that I want from my friends, it's to be loved and accepted as I am.

Not judged for not living up to some arbitrary religious requirements.

document wrote: ↑Tue Feb 28, 2017 6:19 amWhy do I even care?

Maybe because he obviously has questionable morals, and he felt he was justified in looking down on you? Its amazing the irony and the self-righteousness of some people. I bet he went home and felt smug about how he was better than you... that you will burn in hell, while he will be looking down with pity. You are a way better person than he is.

GoodBoy wrote: ↑Tue Feb 28, 2017 11:08 am

document wrote: ↑Tue Feb 28, 2017 6:19 amWhy do I even care?

Maybe because he obviously has questionable morals, and he felt he was justified in looking down on you? Its amazing the irony and the self-righteousness of some people. I bet he went home and felt smug about how he was better than you... that you will burn in hell, while he will be looking down with pity. You are a way better person than he is.

This^^
You are awesome Document. The way he treated you says so much more about him than it does about you. Remember when someone judges us, they are revealing an unhealed part of themselves.

I agree with the others who have said that you are a much better person than he is. You have enough humility not to judge him and the compassion not tell him so. He lacks humility. He sounds like the type who "repents" but fails to learn anything from the repentance process. If someone doesn't have a true change of heard, which leads to humility, then they went through the outward signs of repentance of confessing and all, but didn't comprehend the seriousness of the sin and really have a change of heart. He was sorry he got caught, but not really sorry for hurting others. Cause, see, he is still going around hurting others.

You are one of the people on this board that I really respect and if this guy doesn't respect you, then he doesn't know you very well. He may be an old acquaintance, but he isn't much of a friend.

Man, I share your frustration, and I don't think it's judgy at all. What's annoying is how deep the conditiong goes with some members, that they can betray their spouse, but god forbid they find anything wrong with the church. It's just such problematic reasoning, that they can be so cruel to a loved one, but be so faithful to an INSTITUTION. I just don't get it, either. I suspect it's just easier to think and act kindly towards something not particulalry tangible, like the church, instead of being considerate and thoughtful to actual human beings. Maybe that's it. I just am amazed by this. I wish I could say this was an isolated case, but it's not. Apostasy is now the sin closest to murder, in the LDS view of things.