NOM

Had a meeting with the new BP. Nice guy, empathetic and listening. I didn't get into the nitty gritty, but he knows more than most of my past BP.

He asked if he found the "right" calling would I accept. I guess

What callings would a gun slinger without a recommend and a very NOM belief like myself qualify for? Any ideas, or past experiences?

I just hope he doesn't get the idea that I will accept some made up, silly calling (Hymnal straightener, door locker, take out diaper container out of women's room, make sure there is a priesthood holder for RS meetings etc...)

I have a feeling it will be scout something (committee?). Because teachers like teaching kids after hours It would be a little weird since some of my Jr High students are in the ward (probably weirder for them).

When I informed my Stake Pres. about my new feelings toward the church and that I wanted a release, he wouldn't release me from my calling (High Priest GL) immediately. Eventually he got the message that I was very unhappy being forced (in a way) to represent a church that I no longer believed in. So they gave me my release and immediately called me to be a "night security" person who came to the Stake Center every evening after a meeting and saw to it that the building was secure just before retiring for the evening. I'm quite sure this was a made up calling.

Having thought back on it, I should have taken control of the situation early on and told my SP that he had two weeks to call another HPGL and that if he didn't I would just stop showing up. I would have included that I was no longer interested in serving in ANY capacity in the LDS faith. But that was as I was still in the process of shedding the shackles of mental and emotional bondage to the organization. So glad that time of my life is over and I have full control over my own life again.

Palerider wrote: ↑Wed Feb 22, 2017 11:04 pm When I informed my Stake Pres. about my new feelings toward the church and that I wanted a release, he wouldn't release me from my calling (High Priest GL) immediately. Eventually he got the message that I was very unhappy being forced (in a way) to represent a church that I no longer believed in. So they gave me my release and immediately called me to be a "night security" person who came to the Stake Center every evening after a meeting and saw to it that the building was secure just before retiring for the evening. I'm quite sure this was a made up calling.

Having thought back on it, I should have taken control of the situation early on and told my SP that he had two weeks to call another HPGL and that if he didn't I would just stop showing up. I would have included that I was no longer interested in serving in ANY capacity in the LDS faith. But that was as I was still in the process of shedding the shackles of mental and emotional bondage to the organization. So glad that time of my life is over and I have full control over my own life again.

That is not a made up calling at all. My TBM husband has building lock up. My FIL had the calling of building lock up also, and he loved it. It gave him the power to kick the stake president out of the building and he got a real kick of being able to tell the big wigs it was high time they went home, late on a Sunday night. I believe my DH is a good fit for the calling because we tend to be out of town a lot, and because the building has two or three assigned, he can easily trade off, and because we are snow birds, the other two can handle it for the time we are at our other home.

But there are quite a few callings that work for men with no testimony. Clerk positions, scout leadership, and of course, building lock up. Women, not so much anymore. There are fewer callings for women anyway, and more women than men, and for a lot of callings women can have, men can also be put in those positions, such as primary teacher. They got rid of activities chairman and so, now there in only library for women who are NOM. Everything else is teaching. Part of why the church stopped working socially for me when it got out that I was not quite orthodox. I was fully active for 10+ years with no calling and having no calling kind of puts people onto the fringes of the ward. So, once it didn't work socially, and it never did work spiritually, it was just time to give it up.

Raylan Givens wrote: ↑Wed Feb 22, 2017 9:55 pm Had a meeting with the new BP. Nice guy, empathetic and listening. I didn't get into the nitty gritty, but he knows more than most of my past BP.

He asked if he found the "right" calling would I accept. I guess

What callings would a gun slinger without a recommend and a very NOM belief like myself qualify for? Any ideas, or past experiences?

The base question is: what kind of Mormon do you want to be? LDS theology is not quite as mature as Judaism, for example. While Reform and Liberal Jews have profound disagreements with Conservative and Orthodox Jews, they all recognize the Jewish Heritage each possesses. The Seder meal might mean very different things to various types of Jews, but it still acknowledged as the community recognition of a critical story in Jewish culture. Liberal Jews don't have to hold a literal reading of the book of Exodus to get something out of Passover. Being a cultural Jew is understood and recognized by the Jewish community at large.

This distinction is only in the early stages of acknowledgement in LDS thought. The temple ceremony is widely considered the literal gateway back to God and is a divine requirement for all mortals in the progress towards salvation. Someone like me only wants to participate in temple worship as a part of a family or social gathering. I feel no draw to attend the temple for my own personal edification. Being a strictly cultural Mormon is not understood or especially appreciated by the LDS community at large. I keep these ideas to myself because it serves my greater goals.

Personally, I do serve on the scout committee in my ward. I got lucky when the bishop called me to this position although I made it no secret that would happily serve in scouts since I enjoy camping and working with the young men in a slightly more secular manner. I am prepared to turn down just about any other calling. But this is simply what works for me.

What would you feel comfortable doing? I don't recommend waiting for your bishop to come up with the "right" calling. You should provide some suggestions for him. This will also help establish how orthodox he is and get an inevitable confrontation out of the way early on if needed. Your church service should be your own and you should make your own decisions on how you want to serve. I spent last Saturday helping with and Eagle Project with a young man in my ward along with two dozen other men and boys. Community social ties have real value and you don't have to reject them just because you don't believe like they do.

I'm gonna start campaigning for the Official RS meal delivery food taster position.

Or The Social Burden Evaluator for the Party Planning Committee.

Maybe the Coordinator for Ensign Magazine Digital Delivery

The church is so obsessed with everyone having a calling. I guess it's a strategy to keep people engaged. It's so irritating to me, instead of taking care of people and running programs, callings tend to turn into this control/hierarchy/status thing.

Clerk and scout callings are about the only NOM friendly ones I can think of. I find scout callings are often frustrating (depending on the ward)... usually little support, little money, church imposed limitations. I am Webelos leader in my ward and I am getting pretty tired of it.

I think I won't be asked for awhile, since he is still feeling out the situation. My wife was just called to Activity Days, so having a mid week calling too would be hard with two little ones.

I am now in choir, one of two tenors. Perhaps that is my calling for now.

You're not obligated to take any calling at all. Several friends of mine turned in their TRs when they realized the church was such a fake, but they haven't yet resigned. One of their favorite benefits of it is that they don't have callings now. They attend now and then, but it's on their own terms. I'm sure the bishop could have given them some sort of calling, but he's trying not to drive them off completely.

I am not endowed, even though I was active for many years. I've been librarian, youth SS teacher, worked in scouting, preparedness person (possibly a made up calling). Got called as the ward bulletin person when I started going inactive. That was probably an effort at reactivation but it backfired when I eventually quit going (and quit making the bulletin).

That's my story, as one of many posible scenarios.

Chair set-up and take down requires neither a Temple recommend nor confession of the LDS creeds.

alas wrote: ↑Thu Feb 23, 2017 10:55 am

Palerider wrote: ↑Wed Feb 22, 2017 11:04 pm When I informed my Stake Pres. about my new feelings toward the church and that I wanted a release, he wouldn't release me from my calling (High Priest GL) immediately. Eventually he got the message that I was very unhappy being forced (in a way) to represent a church that I no longer believed in. So they gave me my release and immediately called me to be a "night security" person who came to the Stake Center every evening after a meeting and saw to it that the building was secure just before retiring for the evening. I'm quite sure this was a made up calling.

Having thought back on it, I should have taken control of the situation early on and told my SP that he had two weeks to call another HPGL and that if he didn't I would just stop showing up. I would have included that I was no longer interested in serving in ANY capacity in the LDS faith. But that was as I was still in the process of shedding the shackles of mental and emotional bondage to the organization. So glad that time of my life is over and I have full control over my own life again.

That is not a made up calling at all. My TBM husband has building lock up. My FIL had the calling of building lock up also, and he loved it. It gave him the power to kick the stake president out of the building and he got a real kick of being able to tell the big wigs it was high time they went home, late on a Sunday night. I believe my DH is a good fit for the calling because we tend to be out of town a lot, and because the building has two or three assigned, he can easily trade off, and because we are snow birds, the other two can handle it for the time we are at our other home.

But there are quite a few callings that work for men with no testimony. Clerk positions, scout leadership, and of course, building lock up. Women, not so much anymore. There are fewer callings for women anyway, and more women than men, and for a lot of callings women can have, men can also be put in those positions, such as primary teacher. They got rid of activities chairman and so, now there in only library for women who are NOM. Everything else is teaching. Part of why the church stopped working socially for me when it got out that I was not quite orthodox. I was fully active for 10+ years with no calling and having no calling kind of puts people onto the fringes of the ward. So, once it didn't work socially, and it never did work spiritually, it was just time to give it up.

You're right I'm sure now that I think about it. But I agree with what others here have said. The church uses callings to keep you hooked as long as possible. Once the truth has been revealed that the church is phony , any effort made to continue to support it seems like a compromise of one's integrity.

I had inspiration apparently, called to be the Assistant Scout Committee Chair. Just as I thought. I am the assistant because they are combing our scout troop with two other wards and the other ward is in charge for a few years. I think we have two or three scouts, maybe?

I think I can do this. No Sunday commitments.

I'm the ward pariah. I do consider it a calling.

Stick to the temporal related callings:
- Librarian
- Technology Specialist
- Auditor (requires a TR)
- Assistant to the Regional Chalkboard Eraser Manager

Teaching little kids is pretty mundane, just ignore the lesson manual and teach them Jesus stories...and try to sneak in a little bit on critical thinking skills .

Give It Time wrote: ↑Sun Mar 26, 2017 9:18 pm I'm the ward pariah. I do consider it a calling.

In fact, that's the title I tell people when they ask. Makes it uncomfortable, but them's just the facts

I was just called to be a Visiting Teaching Supervisor. What an inspired calling for a less active woman who officially opted out of VT several years ago!! But, it's OK. I accepted. It's a perfect place-holder calling for me. 5 minutes of data entry per month and I will be magnificently magnifying my calling! Yay, me! Maybe I will get the opportunity to make funeral potatoes after all.

Enough wrote: ↑Mon Mar 27, 2017 3:59 pm I was just called to be a Visiting Teaching Supervisor. What an inspired calling for a less active woman who officially opted out of VT several years ago!! But, it's OK. I accepted. It's a perfect place-holder calling for me. 5 minutes of data entry per month and I will be magnificently magnifying my calling! Yay, me! Maybe I will get the opportunity to make funeral potatoes after all.

Make sure to have the Ward Funeral Potato Specialist™ taste-test before each serving.



Dang... Now I'm hungry!

The question everyone should ask who is going through a faith transition nomish or otherwise is "Do I want to support the perpetuation of lie's by performing in a calling?" We began nomish, and I consider myself fully apostate. My DW recently walked away from the last of her church association.
What she found out was that she was there only to support the church via the calling she resigned from. The people don't miss her, they miss what she did to support their church addictive process. I would simply say no. Don't give them any form of control you don't want them to have.

Having a light calling has a few benefits for a NOM with an active spouse and young kids. First, it allows an answer in the inevitable social situations where people ask what calling you have, second, it saves your spouse from the pity comments of her peers for having an "inactive" spouse. Third, if you have kids that will get ordinances, it acts as a bargaining chip with leaders that might otherwise deny the father the opportunity to participate. This is why I still hold a small stake calling.

A lot of times, I get feedback from others (NOMS/exmos/others) that I am feeding the problem (e.g. Through enabling the institution) by accepting callings, or by staying active in any way.

My response? It's really complicated -- managing my own mental/physical/cognitive/spiritual needs--- while trying to keep my marriage and family intact and healthy.

Personally, I feel better when I'm contributing SOMETHING... even if it isn't an ideal offering...because at the end of the day: I choose every day to stay a member & to support my Kids & DH in their church activity. Many people donate time, in their own way & for their own purposes, for the benefit of my family. I appreciate their service, even if/when I might independently cut and run -- if circumstances were different than they are.

Fluff: Someday, we need to have a Funeral Potato Cook-Off! You know-- like the Chili Cook-Off my Ward hosts every Halloween (--probably to ensure members will help provide food for this required annual holiday party).

#missthedaysofrealactivitycommittees