NOM

Sunday in b'ric meeting the BP told of a meeting with other BPs in the stake where apparently all of them were commiserating about how Satan is really working hard on the youth today with pron and "m". He said every one was in agreement and that they all were dealing with youth that had the problem. They were trying to find the best ways to scare the youth away from satan's temptations.

I hate the "Satan's gonna get cha!" tactic. All that does is instill more guilt and depression when the kid ultimately slips up and repeats the "sin".

So I was thinking, if I were in the bishop's position, and what I think I will do when my youngest son is ready for "the talk", is approach the topic from a physiological perspective.

I would tell them that the feelings and attractions they have are programmed into their biology. They each have built-in desires that are not evil and don't come from Satan, they are normal and originate from the instinct of human self preservation through procreation. It's normal to be attracted to other humans, and it's normal to be curious about bodies and sexual functions. As teenagers they are experiencing high levels of hormones that intensify their curiosity. It is normal, natural, and what makes us human.

Now, I would tell them that learning to manage these feelings, maintaining self-control, and not seeking out materials to overstimulate their sexual senses is critical. They need to learn to respect themselves, their friends, and the opposite gender.

I'm no psychologist or therapist, but I think if I would have been given this advice as a young man it would have saved me from years of depression, guilt, and unnecessary self-shaming.

I feel so much pain for these youth that continue to be subjected to the damaging cycle of guilt and self-loathing that I went through.

I guess that's one reason I'll never be a BP. I couldn't look at these kids without seeing myself as a youth. No way could I subject them to the same misery.

In church today we had a talk from a high councilman who was trying to give an inspirational message about the availability of the atonement. He related a story of a young woman who was feeling suicidal after falling into sexual indiscretion. His message was that the atonement is there for everyone when we eventually screw up. But we don't acknowledge why she became suicidal do we? Because she probably felt that she might as well have murdered somebody, according to alma. And according to SWK, she should have died protectin that virginity. Nope, let's not address the root cause of suicide, just put a band-aid on it.

w2mz wrote: ↑Sun Feb 19, 2017 10:15 pm ...all of them were commiserating about how Satan is really working hard on the youth today with pron and "m".

Was that pron as in pronoun and "m" as in masturbation?

moksha wrote: ↑Mon Feb 20, 2017 3:13 am

w2mz wrote: ↑Sun Feb 19, 2017 10:15 pm ...all of them were commiserating about how Satan is really working hard on the youth today with pron and "m".

Was that pron as in pronoun and "m" as in masturbation?

Porn and masturbation, yes, two primary fixations of the church.

P is for penguin?

Obviously this is a touchy subject but it's worth the conversation. In my opinion, porn addiction has become the church's label of convenience. It shuts down the ability to have a productive conversation, builds up a tall pedestal for leaders to preach from, and then proceeds to shame every male member of the church.

Preaching shame, guilt, and fear tactics EXACERBATES the problem!

Shame feeds the addiction cycle.
Guilt inhibits recovery.
Fear forces secrecy.
The cycle repeats.

One of the mormon neighbor kids was busted at school for "looking at porn". He's now been labeled an addict amongst his peers and dragged to a counseling program on top of the weekly Bishop check ins and priesthood duty suspension. My daughter knows this kid and told me what really happened. The kid was forwarding an inappropriate meme to his friends using his school gmail account. The kid is devastated.

The problem is that it's nearly impossible to have a normal conversation about porn with a TBM. You'll just never get them to listen and consider the harmful implications of the overbearing porn narrative. You'll quickly get accused of looking at porn!

Red Ryder wrote: ↑Mon Feb 20, 2017 10:08 am One of the mormon neighbor kids was busted at school for "looking at porn". He's now been labeled an addict amongst his peers and dragged to a counseling program on top of the weekly Bishop check ins and priesthood duty suspension.

The kid will be a future poster at the Recovery from Mormonism board and will have a compelling exit story. It could have been prevented with a different reaction from his Church.

P is for penguin?

Now that really would be a problem. Did you know that such penguins have been known to quote themselves in their own posts? If that isn't suggestive of an underlying psychological manifestation then that is not a banana in my pocket.

Red Ryder wrote: ↑Mon Feb 20, 2017 10:08 am Obviously this is a touchy subject but it's worth the conversation.

Yes it is

I agree that porn use can be a compulsion that can be harmful if the behavior causes problems. Some people have a real problem with it, so I can understand the association TBMs have with addiction, I just think the term "addiction" isn't very useful and may be harmful.

I just hope that some day the church grows up and realizes that they've been freaking out about a problem of their own creation.

It reminds me of one time when I was at a family party at a restaurant. There was a big rusty door at the end of the hallway that led to the bathroom. My little boy asked me what was behind the door. I said "monsters!" My son smiled because we joke about stuff like that all the time but another father who heard me was shocked. "I would be in so much trouble if my wife heard me say anything like that around our kids!" The difference was that my kids weren't afraid of monsters because they knew their parents weren't, whereas their kids were terrified of monsters because their parents acted as if they were real.

The church creates a similar kind of reaction to porn. Behind that big rusty door wasn't a good place for my kids to go, but there were no monsters back there.

Hagoth wrote: ↑Sun Feb 26, 2017 3:47 pm I just hope that some day the church grows up and realizes that they've been freaking out about a problem of their own creation.

Sadly, I think the church will need to find another big, nasty, evil, mean MONSTER to blame all of their problems on before they'll quit focusing on porn. The MONSTER of my youth was "rock music", and quite a few people made quite a bit of money off of it, and as we all know, it was really nothing.

Come to think of it, maybe that's why the church focuses so much on porn. So the church, and all of these kooks writing books, and charging for their "services" to turn normal human beings in to mindless, asexual clones can rake in dough.

Teaching real life skills and the happy, touchy-feely "Christ-like" attributes doesn't pay the bills.

(Holy crap, that is a depressing train of thought right there. Not a new train of thought, but it's slapping me harder at this moment... )

What if Porn is a symptom, not the disease?

Brent wrote: ↑Sun Feb 26, 2017 7:59 pm What if Porn is a symptom, not the disease?

I'm pretty sure this video demonstrates both the disease and cure that the LDS church is desperately trying to avoid.