NOM

Hi. Middle aged male. Inactive parents growing up. Lured by my paternal grandparents to be baptized at aged 8 with a bag of candy and Chinese food. Never went to church. In fact I lettered in debauchery in high school. Met and fell in love with a TBM while in college. Had supernatural experience reading BOM, also while in college. I really fell in love with the notion that we would see our deceased relatives again. Had the beginnings of a testimony, enough to be ordained an elder and qualify for temple marriage. In the temple worthiness interview the stake guy asked if my then fience and I had slipped and had oral sex. Ok. Weird, and officially shelf item #1. Put many items on my shelf over 30 years or so. Couldn't really articulate to wife my belief system without sounding either confused or angry. Then I stumbled upon the CES letter. OMG! The answer to my prayers. From there I slid down the rabbit hole with mormonthink, reddit ex, RFM, etc. But the absolute clincher was the essays. Shelf came crashing down literally days later. Holy s***. The church is a lie. All of it. That sudden realization, which took less than 2 nano-seconds, felt like a 1000 lb weight had been lifted off my shoulders. This genesis all took place last October. Still pretending because I love my wife. Currently in the HP group leadership in my ward.

I want to personally thank everyone on this board for sharing their thoughts and stories. You have no idea how helpful you've been as I make the slow, painful transition out of Mormonism. Thank you!

We are glad you showed up.

A bag of candy AND Chinese food? Yummy!

Welcome to NOM. Glad to have you here with us!

Welcome!

Have you discussed your new perspectives and findings with your wife yet?

Sorry for the long time between replys. Out of desperation I decided to reveal to my wife my disaffection with the church. I tried to be logical, never once attacking the church. We talked about polygamy/polyandry, the rampant unrepentant racism of recent apostles and presidents, and several other topics. There was lots of back and forth. I was relieved (big understatement) that she didn't fall apart. In fact she was quite understanding and supportive. We have an unspoken truce. I pretend to be an active member (which is getting harder and harder to do) and she doesn't cry and bare her testimony when we talk about church. We are both in our 50's, and my hunch is that she is planning on dragging me to VIP heaven to plead my case to Jeezus.

I am also in HP leadership but hope to find a graceful exit yo that soon. This is messy but we gotta take something right?!

Good luck brother!

Good intro, welcome to the pretenders club.

JustHangingOn@57 wrote: ↑Wed Mar 15, 2017 10:59 pm Sorry for the long time between replys. Out of desperation I decided to reveal to my wife my disaffection with the church. I tried to be logical, never once attacking the church. We talked about polygamy/polyandry, the rampant unrepentant racism of recent apostles and presidents, and several other topics. There was lots of back and forth. I was relieved (big understatement) that she didn't fall apart. In fact she was quite understanding and supportive. We have an unspoken truce. I pretend to be an active member (which is getting harder and harder to do) and she doesn't cry and bare her testimony when we talk about church. We are both in our 50's, and my hunch is that she is planning on dragging me to VIP heaven to plead my case to Jeezus.

She's got your ticket.

I'm so glad you talked with her. I hope you guys are able to take this faith journey together.

FiveFingerMnemonic wrote: ↑Fri Mar 17, 2017 9:26 am Good intro, welcome to the pretenders club.

The Pretenders: Middle of the Road
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7LZ5I1fOA_Y

"The Middle path is the way to wisdom." -Rumi

[quote

unrepentant racism of recent apostles and presidents,

[/quote]

OMG. So well said!

Newme wrote: ↑Fri Mar 17, 2017 10:03 am

FiveFingerMnemonic wrote: ↑Fri Mar 17, 2017 9:26 am Good intro, welcome to the pretenders club.

The Pretenders: Middle of the Road
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7LZ5I1fOA_Y

"The Middle path is the way to wisdom." -Rumi

Hahahaha good find!

Welcome to the ward. I think you will add some interesting posts to our mix. I get the impression that there are more then a few of us 'over fifty' members in the group. Many have had leadership experience with the mother ship so should know better.

Good luck in your now more complicated marriage dynamics. The struggle is real and ongoing for me too.