NOM

My nephew is getting baptized next week. So my wife and some of DW's siblings received a text asking about who could be a witness.

My DW replied, "Raylan is not really Mormon, so...."

I guess my poor BIL felt all bad thinking he had opened up some wounds between DW and I. Nope, we are both pretty comfortable in our shoes. He later talked with DW about it, all good, kind of.

Should be an interesting weekend, so weird that my wife's family has more info on my non-literal views than most of my family. We just don't talk about those things (we are also much more passive aggressive and avoid tough conversations in general).

Weird that I am not Mormon anymore, I still pay my dues . I even moved up a pew last week, I received a small raise.

Suggestions for smoothing out with BIL so he doesn't feel weird?

Raylan Givens wrote: ↑Sat Jan 28, 2017 10:37 pm (we are also much more passive aggressive and avoid tough conversations in general).

I think this is pretty true for most Mormons. I would just try to reassure everyone in your family that you love and support them. But be prepared incase they respond with typical TBMishness.

Raylan Givens wrote: ↑Sat Jan 28, 2017 10:37 pmWeird that I am not Mormon anymore, I still pay my dues . I even moved up a pew last week, I received a small raise.

We're way in the back - so it's easy to sneak in and out - so no raise, but other benefits.

Suggestions for smoothing out with BIL so he doesn't feel weird?

My first instinct is to just let it go. But if it does come up somehow, you could just say how a part of you feels associated with Mormonism (assuming that's true since you're posting on this forum), but another part of you has come to realize that there is truth that is not limited to Mormonism. Or something like that. But overall, because TBMs are primed to be on the defense with "apostates," I'd let it go - and only say something if he brings it up or if you or he feels awkward.

Similar situation - nephew is getting married this summer. My family knows of my disaffection but not really how far out I am because I still attend and have a calling. I do not, however, have a TR because I no longer pay tithing (among other reasons) and I'm not going to jump through hoops to get one. So I answered my brother's save-the-date email with a friendly warning that DH and I wouldn't be able to attend the ceremony but would love to be there on his special day. Crickets so far.

Good ideas-

I think BIL won't bat an eye if it comes up. If he asks, I will reassure him I am not offended that he just assumed (DW told me he felt embarrassed for assuming).