NOM

My ward was blessed with talks from the missionaries in sacrament meeting yesterday. One of them shared the miracle of his birth and how that got his wayward parents to come back to church. His closing statement was that "there is no good reason to give up on someone". What an awful statement. I hope my wife wasn't listening...

Later a friend in the ward was giving a talk about his dad's journey back to church, and it sounds like the church was a legitimate force for good in this guys life. Sometimes in my frustration being stuck going to church every week and having a huge wedge in my marriage I forget the good things the church teaches. Too bad the base claims are BS.

Linked wrote: ↑Mon Jan 23, 2017 12:25 pm His closing statement was that "there is no good reason to give up on someone". What an awful statement. I hope my wife wasn't listening...

But think about it, what is it exactly that they do not want to give up? Is it really TRUTH - love? If it's based on principles that hurt others financially and psychologically, how can it be? Could it be that what they do not want to give up on is their own pride - their own need to be backed up in believing something they don't completely really feel confident in?

I was reading about a study where after people were primed subliminally to think about death, they then became more hostile toward people who held different beliefs about death/religion. Death may be the most extreme example - but this might apply to other degrees of disaffection and why TBMs may feel threatened by NOMs. When people are scared, they tend to cling to comforting beliefs - even Atheists have been known to hope in a God on their deathbeds. I know that when I've been scared, I pray more - and with more intensity and trust in God.

Maybe this sense of vulnerability is at the root of religion. "Narrow is the way and few be that find it" - I really think this is because it is so difficult to handle being "born again and again and again" - basically positive disintegration https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Positive_disintegration. To detach ourselves from the "old wine bottles" in order to make way for the new can be difficult for everyone. I mean even look at many people who get stuck in anti-Mormon bs - they cling to it as their new herd. They don't want to move on to stage 5 http://www.psychologycharts.com/james-f ... faith.html. So, essentially, they, like TBMs in stage 3, damn themselves - prevent themselves from moving on. And they see "no good reason" why others shouldn't think as they do - and be stuck as they are.

Yet, the foundation they cling to is not firm. Deep down, they know that there are some problems in their group's ideologies, but they're too scared to consider them. They think if they ignore the inconvenient facts, and just pretend everything is great, then it can be essentially their god. They can trust in it completely - they yearn to have a parental/authority figure telling them what to think and do. It feels better to be backed up by a herd than to go it alone. Yet, the price is that they walk on shaky ground - never knowing when it will be pulled out from under them. They get used to the shaky ground and see no good reason to rock the boat - what's shaky then seems normal.

Thanks. I needed to vent.

His closing statement was that "there is no good reason to give up on someone". What an awful statement.

In the week after my separation, I lived with my mother as I got my feet under me. My ex-wife had the car, so I went to the store with my mother. An old friend of the family saw her and talked to her but didn't recognize me (to be fair, I did not look like or act like myself in the first few months of my divorce). She asked about me and why I left the church. She just said, "He had his reasons". She said something like, "Don't ever give up, my son came back, so will yours". My mom laughed and turned to me and said, "John, what do you think about that?"

When I laughed the woman realized that she was talking about me right in front of me. My mom's response was beautiful, I cannot quote it directly, but it was something like, "I haven't given up on my son and I never will. He is a good person and I will never give up for him to remain a good person. No mother would do differently".

It was the right thing to say in the moment as I was in the darkest point in my life. It wasn't until a few years later that I realized she had really meant it. I'm not a disappointment to her. And like any good parent, I will do all that I can throughout my life to help my children be good people who are balanced and happy.

In her case, it was rephrasing the hurtful statement.