NOM

Details deleted.

I ended up turning down the calling. We will see how it goes...

This is where mormonism makes it hard to be halfway in. You can turn down the calling, but it might complicate your possibility of recommend renewal later if you desire it. At the same time if your mental health precludes giving this much time and effort to the corporation, then perhaps letting that next recommend slide is ok, while also being aware that it might be really hard on your wife. The decision is yours. Not many good options.

We have a right to say no. Really. Intellectually, I understand this, but emotionally, it's taking a while to get through. For so long, I believed that to be a worthy person, I needed to do everything others asked of me in the church - no matter how overbooked I was. I recently also asked to be released from a calling and also from visiting teaching. I told her that I often like to reach out to others on my own - I don't need someone harassing me over and over with calls to demand a report etc. Serving is more enjoyable when it's done out of love, not shame-based obligation.

End of vent.