NOM

Over the years, my faith has continued to transition. I’m reminded of something Richard Bushman said that basically the purpose of Joseph Smith was to bring you closer to Christ.
Does Joseph or the church do that for you?
The more I learn about church history, the further away from Christ I feel.
For example, knowing the BoM was translated using a rock in a top hat leads me away from Christ. It just doesn’t make sense that God would have someone translate proposed ancient scripture using a rock.
Then there is polygamy. Joseph Smith actually pushes me completely away from God. I don’t really believe is a God anymore primarily because of Joseph Smith.
Thoughts?

I didn't grow up in the Mormon church, married into it, so have multiple groups to draw from.

General Christianity as kid - felt very controlling, wear this, don't watch that,

"Listen to the mustn'ts, child. Listen to the don'ts. Listen to the shouldn'ts, the impossibles, the won'ts. Listen to the never haves, then listen close to me... "- Silverstein

so, rebellious teenager meets buddhist, finds eastern fun,....

then married with kids tries to be responsible and goes to church (lds church is just a big day-care center - works for new parents, young kids)... kids get abused...

really I was happiest with Eastern stuff, although there is still male heirarchy to weed out of all of it.

We're herd animals, need community, get sentimental for whatever home/childhood was I suppose... God? I mean we are self aware, life - spirit - that animating force? Life is magical, sometimes it seems like you can feel the spirit of another... sometimes it seems like the dead are there next to you... I don't know. All the groups, you feel it in all the groups. Not God- you feel one another.

There are assumptions in the question I don't think are in evidence to even begin to answer the question.

dogbite wrote: ↑Tue Oct 11, 2022 12:24 pm There are assumptions in the question I don't think are in evidence to even begin to answer the question.

+1

The misogyny in the Mormon church had me disliking God. I knew I had to get away, either by becoming atheist or some other something. So, now I am a pantheist, Christian, humanist, for lack of a better description.

I wasn't raised in a religious household, but from the time I was a little girl I had deep spiritual feelings and a desire to connect with the divine. What initially drew me to the church was that being with church members and the missionaries seemed to tap into those feelings and yes, I felt closer to god.

After baptism though, it didn't take long for my experience to change -- I started to struggle with inadequacy (it was very difficult being an off-the-chart introvert in Mormon culture). I left on a mission within 14 months of being baptized and felt like an outsider on several counts: as a scorned American in France, as a convert with a blemished past, and as a woman in the completely patriarchal mission organization. I grew a lot, but was miserable and feeling close to god just didn't happen much.

When I got home I spent the next ten years single and feeling that I could never succeed spiritually until I got married and had children. I loved being a mother and did my very best, but reading through my journals is painful; I was constantly writing about how I needed to try harder, pray more, have more faith . . . at some point, I accepted that I just wasn't celestial material and didn't actually care. I didn't want to do what it was apparently going to take and I didn't think I wanted to be with the kind of people who were apparently going to be there.

You know what one of the most alienating things was, though? It was when Oaks gave a talk about the proper way to address god in prayer. I had been praying since I was really little, just having confiding conversations with someone who felt really close and to whom I could pour out my feelings-- not in formal, ancient language, but from the heart and without thinking about the language. I trusted the leaders and tried to be obedient, and I never had the same experience with prayer again after that talk.

I have really appreciated the conversation in the other thread about seeking spirituality (for lack of a better word) after Mormonism. Glimpses of the ineffable, I think Hagoth called it. I still feel glimmers of that, mostly in the outdoors or with poetry that gives words to the feeling of being in the outdoors. It is a purer feeling than the straining after it I experienced praying to a god I feared in a language I had to be careful of.

So -- no. I was drawn to Mormonism because I thought it was an avenue to being closer to god, but that was a lie. In the end, it stripped me of what belief and faith I had and I am still struggling to find my spiritual footing somewhere.

I was raised LDS from the get go. It definitely drew me closer to God. But I am a white cis/het male so it was made for me to work. I don't know what I believe about god anymore but once Mormonism started to not work for me I began deconstructing everything.

stealthbishop wrote: ↑Wed Oct 12, 2022 7:53 am I was raised LDS from the get go. It definitely drew me closer to God. But I am a white cis/het male so it was made for me to work. I don't know what I believe about god anymore but once Mormonism started to not work for me I began deconstructing everything.

Same here. I’ve become very interested in the practice of deconstructing systems. Both intangible religious belief systems as well as mechanical system failures. I think a career in accident investigation would be intriguing.

I do still belief and have a testimony of the Mormon Donut Doctrine. That’s where we ask God to bless the donuts so that they can strengthen and nourish our bodies. That alone keeps me close to God … and Dan Peterson!

Obligatory:

Which God?

I grew up in the church also in an orthodox home. And in a small Utah town with no other churches in it. They used to have a bust of Joseph Smith on the outside window of the museum with a blue light behind it. It gave me sort of a mystical feeling as a child. I also think that being ultra religious as a kid sort of gave me a weird mindset that you know if my friends weren't friendly to me then maybe they were going to hell I remember enjoying getting up and bearing my testimony and getting emotional thinking it was the spirit. And going to efy and pioneer trek with the same emotional testimony bearing. I suppose they do these things to make you believe that these nice emotional feelings are the spirit to keep you committed etc. Then same on the mission teaching and bearing testimony to get people to feel the spirit--Because if you feel the spirit then it must be true right? Until you realize what we now know about the church. And even as a believer I sort of began to realize that if I wanted the answer to my prayer to go a certain way I could generate that feeling of the spirit.

Anyway, as an ex-believer, the church now is more of a source of stress when I go and also in my marriage. So it doesn't make me feel closer to God which I have begun to doubt as any human that has been exalted to a God. Jesus has also lost credibility since my faith transition.

What do we do now that we don't believe in Santa (the church) anymore? I guess try to move on with a more realistic view of life.

wtfluff wrote: ↑Wed Oct 12, 2022 1:02 pm Obligatory:

Which God?

I like the one below Joseph. He is happy and likes to laugh. And, no, Mormonism didn’t help me be happy or laugh.

alas wrote: ↑Wed Oct 12, 2022 7:26 pm I like the one below Joseph. He is happy and likes to laugh. And, no, Mormonism didn’t help me be happy or laugh.

Yeah, to answer the question of the OP (without my usual sarcasm):

If anything, MORmONism drove me further away from anything that I would consider to be a loving "God". Happiness and laughter weren't really part of the equation. Drudgery and self-loathing were what it brought me closer to.