NOM

Is there a comprehensive list of temple sealing rules listed out somewhere? Sister Ryder is reading the Ghost of Polygamy by Carol Lynn Pearson and the book is filled with so many examples of hurt and heartache where the rules of temple sealings are unequal and harmful to women. In general it’s understood that the first presidency controls the rule book and each situation is treated differently depending on circumstances. The process doesn’t seem to be universal let alone published.

Generally speaking:

Man + Woman = Sealed for eternity.

Woman dies. Man can get resealed to another woman as long as she has not been sealed before to another man or unless her temple sealing was canceled. Examples are President Nelson and Elder Oaks

Man dies. Woman can’t get resealed to another man unless she has her temple sealing canceled.

In the book a women tells her story where:

Brother and Sister Smith get married in the temple. 5 years later she cheats and has a child with another man. They get a civil divorce before child is born. Child is technically born in the covenant between Brother Smith and his now ex wife Sister Smith. Even if Brother Smith remarries, any children birthed by his ex wife and any other man is still considered born in the covenant under him and his ex. Unless a sealing cancellation is done which in this example was refused by the first presidency.

Doesn’t make sense to me unless the temple marriage not getting cancelled is the litmus test, regardless of who fathers the child. That’s a hot mess for Brother Smith and his new wife especially considering if she was previously sealed to a spouse. This brings me to another story.

Widowed or divorced women who try to date again are often told they are of no worth by an unsealed TBM man if he wants to be sealed since they can’t be sealed to another man at the same time. They either have to choose to cancel their first temple sealing or marry for time only in which case the TBM man is then excluded from exaltation in the highest degree of the celestial kingdom. Therefore an unsealed man wouldn’t consider dating or marrying a previously sealed woman.

Last but not least, the other example I found to be disturbing was the story of a couple who were engaged to be married when the women dies in a car accident and the man is allowed to posthumously marry his fiancé in the temple by way of proxy. The man then later meets another unsealed women and marries her in the temple.
Seems odd other than to provide the dead woman with an opportunity for celestial marriage and not have to wait for the next life to get married.

Honestly none of this makes sense. The easy answer is to recognize it’s a tree house rule book and anything can be done if the president of the treehouse decides to do whatever HE wants.

Our conversation then turned to resignation and how that cancels temple ordinances. However, I’ve heard there was an ensign article sometime ago that stated resignation only cancelled an individuals temple ordinances and not necessarily a temple marriage/sealing. That seems counterintuitive and meant to provide comfort for any TBM whose spouse has left the church and resigned. I’ll try and find the article and post a link.

Has anyone here been through a temple sealing cancellation and subsequent temple marriage? Was the process difficult? The stories in the book are sad and reflect on a doctrine that alienates women.

Honestly… I don’t understand how any woman can stay in the church and believe in a God that requires any sort of polygamy. Either living now or dead and in the next life.

LDS-Inc. wrote:It will all work out when you're dead.

Haven't you heard that one before? It works for any question about LDS-Inc.

Honestly, what good are prophets, seers and revelators that can't do any of those three things? Why can't they ask Jesus and or Elohim in the weekly board meeting?

Red Ryder wrote: ↑Wed Jul 06, 2022 4:36 pm Honestly none of this makes sense. The easy answer is to recognize it’s a tree house rule book and anything can be done if the president of the treehouse decides to do whatever HE wants.

"None of this makes sense" is really the best way to define any religion, isn't it?

The temple, in its current form, was created to establish membership in an elite club and to reinforce the role of women as the property of men. As the church tries to run away from its foundational intentions the temple makes less and less sense. The weird thing is that at the same time it is becoming more and more the focal point of the church. At this point it really wouldn't matter what we do in the temple, as long as you are "worthy" and willing to bow your head and say "yes" to the church.

I think, from the standpoint of LDS prophets, temple building is the new polygamy. They used to compete to see how many women they could have sealed to them. Now it's a competition to see who can announce the most new temples.

My uncle wanted nothing to do with the Church, so a few years after his death she got herself sealed to her biological brother. That seemed terribly weird to everyone else in the family, but everyone shrugged and said, "Oh well, you know Mormons and their marriages". Years later they were pushing for Proposition 8. Once again, "Mormons and their marriages".

Hagoth wrote: ↑Thu Jul 07, 2022 6:38 am As the church tries to run away from its foundational intentions the temple makes less and less sense. The weird thing is that at the same time it is becoming more and more the focal point of the church.

I agree. And once I had my feminist “awakening,” even though I’m not one to play the gender card, I could never see the temple the same way. What the church wants me to believe about polygamy and all the convoluted rules stemming from it is completely preposterous to my mind. And they also expect my twenty-first century daughters to buy it?

I read Pearson’s book. Lots of heartbreaking stuff in there.

Editing to add: I love and admire many temple-going people. And on one level I’m very sad I’m estranged from it all. But I just can’t. I remember a moment in the celestial room of the Salt Lake temple when I imagined Brigham Young all the way down to a late middle-aged Lorenzo Snow (marrying teenagers) walking that room. I was so repulsed and couldn’t believe that I used to accept all of this as a woman’s lot.