Watching Wife become a NOM

[stealthbishop]

It's a little painful to watch your spouse go through what you yourself went through. My faith crisis happened 10-11 years ago. For DW, it's been less than a year into it. She's getting some help through this which is what we both need her to do. I had to get my own help when I went through it myself and I can't be the only source of support for her. So, I'm gladding she's getting help.

I think she is trying to find a "middle way" that works for her but as we all know, there are so many obstacles to finding and living that middle way. The current state of the LDS church makes it really hard (eg. "covenant path" rhetoric). She doesn't like being seen as a pariah, or a prodigal or project. That's a huge issue for her. Whereas, I just don't give two Fahrvergnugens about it as much anymore probably because it's been 11-12 years of me being seen as already heterodox to one degree or another. It will be interesting to see where she lands and I'm glad she's getting her own help. It's been really heart wrenching for her but she's come a long ways in a very short time. Sharp learning curve for her. Very messy and choppy.

For me, it's a strange mixture of celebrating a better life for myself but also having empathy for DW who has suffered a lot through this and is still struggling with this big change in her life.

[græy]

It is hard watching someone go through this transition knowing full well how painful it is. While you can't provide all the support she needs, at least she does have you as a support. She might never know how difficult it is to go through without support, or worse, with a spouse in opposition.

What changed to trigger your wife taking these steps into NOMhood?

My DW will admit that any one given issue is an issue, but refuses to see them all in the larger picture. I would describe her as extremely orthodox TBM in practice but nuanced in belief - which is odd.

[stealthbishop]

What changed to trigger your wife taking these steps into NOMhood?

She saw that the purity culture in the LDS church was damaging to family members. It contributed to an healthy dynamic and it damaged the relationship. This shook all of us up really significantly and dislodged her from orthodox beliefs.

She now completely rejects prophetic/apostolic authority over herself. She still believes in HF and Jesus and she still loves the temple even though she doesn't see how she can ever get a TR again with her rejecting priesthood keys and authority.