Five Months Down. 55 To Go.
Posted: Wed Sep 08, 2021 2:50 pm
This is a weird summary. Probably a bit more down than usual - sorry about that.
Burnout: - Primary teachers are randomly not showing up. Some weeks only about 1/3 of teachers show up at all. The primary president is burning out after less than a year.
YW president is also seemingly on the verge of burning out. Though I don't fully understand what is going on there, she seems frustrated that the youth don't plan and organize their own activities ever single week and is getting tired of having to do it herself. Keep in mind the oldest girl in the group is a few months shy of her 14th birthday. What does she really expect?
Attendance: Our ward has a reported attendance of ~130/wk. But that number includes about 35 or so people who view remotely and don't actually contribute to the ward functioning in any meaningful way. Furthermore, ~20 people come to sacrament in person, but leave after that rather than staying for 2nd hour. Our real attendance and activity level is closer to 65 or 70, more than half of which are children and youth.
Youth Programs Related to the above two sections. YW leaders are burning out because of a variety of circumstances, so they frequently default to easy online group activities, most of the girls don't attend.
We as a bishopric are spread very thin. Most every Sunday we're filling in teaching some class, never with more than an hour notice or prep time. On Sundays when we're supposed to be with the young men, we often have to combine quorums so that one or more of us can go substitute in primary.
There is never enough time to focus on the youth because we still have all the regular bishopric sh*t to do. Ideally, the EQP and RSP take a lot of the bishop's load, but that is kind of a pipe dream. Members still come to me, even when I tell them to go to someone else. At best it just swaps me meeting with members for me meeting with EQP and RSP more frequently.
The end result is that most weekly activities are half-way done, and the youth are feeling it. We try and have fun things to do, and I think we largely succeed in that, but there's just no purpose, no reason to be there. No reason not to skip an entire month. Several of the youth I would describe as coming from more dedicated families have since found part time jobs and see no reason not to work on youth activity nights.
In my PIMO mindset I have no issues at all with them doing something useful outside of the carpeted walls of the church, but then the parents of the youth who do come complain that our attendance is too small and expect me to fix it.
Fast Offering Assistance: This is a mixed area for me. I am given a great deal of latitude in determining whether or not a check should be written. That is, they should be a member of the ward, if not that then at least a member of the church in special circumstances (hurricane refugees, etc.), and if not that then very special circumstances that warrant help. Beyond that, I haven't had anyone try to tell me I'm spending too much or too little. They just check for proper documentation and that is that.
I am more than happy to spend the church's money so long as I don't feel like I'm being scammed.
That said, it is SO FRUSTRATING dealing with people in their 30s, 40s, 50s, or 60s who have no clue how to do a basic budget. Many have no idea what a statement is or how to check an account balance. It boggles my mind how some of them have survived this long in life. In some cases it doesn't really matter how often I or the EQP or RSP go over budgeting with them, they just can't or don't care to learn. They also seem to lack any concept of planning ahead for bills. They literally show up the day a check is due, often on a weekday, and expect me to solve all their problems. Sorry, no. It doesn't work like that. Collecting documentation, coordinating other bishopric members for signatures, printing, all takes time.
Mental Health: We have a new member of our ward who is in real need of psycho-therapy. Think Julie Rowe type attitude/behavior/stories. I won't go into details here other than to say their children are possibly at risk due to their failing mental state. CPS has been called but reported they were unable to do anything. This person has been referred to a therapist, but is either refusing to talk about or acknowledge their real problems, or refusing to go altogether. In the meantime, that person's parents keep calling me because they're worried about their grandchildren (Thanks, meeting house locator, for listing my personal phone number! /s
). Myself, EQP and RSP are working to make sure the children are provided for, but beyond that, its not like we can go in and kidnap the kids. I just don't know what else to do.
Community: Before "accepting" this calling I told Mrs. Græy that I only had two reasons to even continue going to church. The 1st and biggest reason is that she still wants to be there, and I don't want her to feel like she has to go alone. The 2nd (and much lesser reason) is that the ward is our community, our family away from family.
I overheard someone conducting another ward's sacrament the other day. They called a second and third librarian. I think it really hit me just then, we don't have enough active people to have any librarians. If someone in our ward needs something from that room they come find one of us in the bishopric to let them in.
I don't really feel like we even have a community here any more. It is just me and a few other people running around like mad trying to make it seem like we have a tight-nit group of ward friends.
If anything, this extra bishoply responsibility has made me see this "ward family" as a very fragile thing. Its not really even there, and I'm not sure it ever has been. A lot of people don't even want to be there. Most will say they do. Many will feel guilty that they don't. In the end we'd all be happy to be given permission to just stay home.
And voila! My second reason for attending at all just fizzled away. And with it was some of my power to care about the contradictory crap that the rest of the ward guilts themselves over. I'm not giving up here just yet, but I am coming to a realization of just how much this calling can take and take and take. And I don't care enough to let it.
Burnout: - Primary teachers are randomly not showing up. Some weeks only about 1/3 of teachers show up at all. The primary president is burning out after less than a year.
YW president is also seemingly on the verge of burning out. Though I don't fully understand what is going on there, she seems frustrated that the youth don't plan and organize their own activities ever single week and is getting tired of having to do it herself. Keep in mind the oldest girl in the group is a few months shy of her 14th birthday. What does she really expect?
Attendance: Our ward has a reported attendance of ~130/wk. But that number includes about 35 or so people who view remotely and don't actually contribute to the ward functioning in any meaningful way. Furthermore, ~20 people come to sacrament in person, but leave after that rather than staying for 2nd hour. Our real attendance and activity level is closer to 65 or 70, more than half of which are children and youth.
Youth Programs Related to the above two sections. YW leaders are burning out because of a variety of circumstances, so they frequently default to easy online group activities, most of the girls don't attend.
We as a bishopric are spread very thin. Most every Sunday we're filling in teaching some class, never with more than an hour notice or prep time. On Sundays when we're supposed to be with the young men, we often have to combine quorums so that one or more of us can go substitute in primary.
There is never enough time to focus on the youth because we still have all the regular bishopric sh*t to do. Ideally, the EQP and RSP take a lot of the bishop's load, but that is kind of a pipe dream. Members still come to me, even when I tell them to go to someone else. At best it just swaps me meeting with members for me meeting with EQP and RSP more frequently.
The end result is that most weekly activities are half-way done, and the youth are feeling it. We try and have fun things to do, and I think we largely succeed in that, but there's just no purpose, no reason to be there. No reason not to skip an entire month. Several of the youth I would describe as coming from more dedicated families have since found part time jobs and see no reason not to work on youth activity nights.
In my PIMO mindset I have no issues at all with them doing something useful outside of the carpeted walls of the church, but then the parents of the youth who do come complain that our attendance is too small and expect me to fix it.
Fast Offering Assistance: This is a mixed area for me. I am given a great deal of latitude in determining whether or not a check should be written. That is, they should be a member of the ward, if not that then at least a member of the church in special circumstances (hurricane refugees, etc.), and if not that then very special circumstances that warrant help. Beyond that, I haven't had anyone try to tell me I'm spending too much or too little. They just check for proper documentation and that is that.
I am more than happy to spend the church's money so long as I don't feel like I'm being scammed.
That said, it is SO FRUSTRATING dealing with people in their 30s, 40s, 50s, or 60s who have no clue how to do a basic budget. Many have no idea what a statement is or how to check an account balance. It boggles my mind how some of them have survived this long in life. In some cases it doesn't really matter how often I or the EQP or RSP go over budgeting with them, they just can't or don't care to learn. They also seem to lack any concept of planning ahead for bills. They literally show up the day a check is due, often on a weekday, and expect me to solve all their problems. Sorry, no. It doesn't work like that. Collecting documentation, coordinating other bishopric members for signatures, printing, all takes time.
Mental Health: We have a new member of our ward who is in real need of psycho-therapy. Think Julie Rowe type attitude/behavior/stories. I won't go into details here other than to say their children are possibly at risk due to their failing mental state. CPS has been called but reported they were unable to do anything. This person has been referred to a therapist, but is either refusing to talk about or acknowledge their real problems, or refusing to go altogether. In the meantime, that person's parents keep calling me because they're worried about their grandchildren (Thanks, meeting house locator, for listing my personal phone number! /s
). Myself, EQP and RSP are working to make sure the children are provided for, but beyond that, its not like we can go in and kidnap the kids. I just don't know what else to do.Community: Before "accepting" this calling I told Mrs. Græy that I only had two reasons to even continue going to church. The 1st and biggest reason is that she still wants to be there, and I don't want her to feel like she has to go alone. The 2nd (and much lesser reason) is that the ward is our community, our family away from family.
I overheard someone conducting another ward's sacrament the other day. They called a second and third librarian. I think it really hit me just then, we don't have enough active people to have any librarians. If someone in our ward needs something from that room they come find one of us in the bishopric to let them in.
I don't really feel like we even have a community here any more. It is just me and a few other people running around like mad trying to make it seem like we have a tight-nit group of ward friends.
If anything, this extra bishoply responsibility has made me see this "ward family" as a very fragile thing. Its not really even there, and I'm not sure it ever has been. A lot of people don't even want to be there. Most will say they do. Many will feel guilty that they don't. In the end we'd all be happy to be given permission to just stay home.
And voila! My second reason for attending at all just fizzled away. And with it was some of my power to care about the contradictory crap that the rest of the ward guilts themselves over. I'm not giving up here just yet, but I am coming to a realization of just how much this calling can take and take and take. And I don't care enough to let it.
you know, to boost activity rates. Create a new 2nd hr meeting group for everyone who wants to discuss "problems with the church". Invite all disgruntled burned out members - then sit back, let the "support" meeting blow up, allow everyone to learn the truth about the church, instigate mass exodus for everyone - and, problems solved - ward disbanded, everyone released from pointless fake callings, invite everyone to celebrate their new freedom together at local park.