An update from The Netherlands

[Meilingkie]

Hello all,

It's been a while.

A lot has happened, new position, new apartment, daughter in the house here.
I almost forgot about Covid. My dad now being retired and very ill.
My kids both being in CBT for PTSD as a result of mormonism.
The church bleeding members especially the last half-year.

The Return to Church orders have triggered an avalanche of people who have had time to read, time to ponderize their involvement.
And many have said: We liked the Second Saturday, and they are voting with their feet and are refusing to come back.

The list of acquaintances and friends leaving is growing by the week.

[Yobispo]

Good to hear from you, sorry to hear about your dads health.

Peter Bleakly is saying that in the UK the activity rate is at about 15%. Do you have anything to show what the activity rate is in the Netherlands? My assumption is that it's worse than the UK, which had a stronghold at one time, but I don't have any data.

[Meilingkie]

Hi Yobispo,
I've been visiting the ward where I was baptized sporadically.
In the South of the country, not my assigned ward though.
Just for the social contacts, I'm not a member of record anymore.

What I heard through the grapevine is that it's about 10-12% at the moment.
And that seems to be the general norm natoinwide.

[Red Ryder]

Hey! Thanks for stopping in and giving an update.

Hope all is well.

Any regrets leaving the church now that you’ve come out the other side?

It seems many marriages become collateral damage even after both leave. It sounds like you’re doing well and moving forward.

Love your updates and eye witness reviews fo the church in the UK.

[deacon blues]

It's always nice to see your smiling face, Meilingkie!

[Meilingkie]

Hi Red Ryder,

Well I left the Church, then we decided to divorce and she also left the Church.
Regrets: a few, and one is particularly hard to describe.
My tastes and sensibilities are still pretty much skewed towards mormonism.
And I mean that where relationships and partner-selection are concerned.

Yes, I know really weird.

Last time I was introduced at an ex-mormon friend's BBQ to a lady, divorced and semi-active LDS.
Some really do have the "it-factor". Like this one.
And I haven't really found any with that secret sauce outside of it.

Oh well, if that's the only thing I miss.............

Less aggrevation, more rest, more money, more sanity, more of everything actually.

[2bizE]

What are some things you have added to your lifestyle to replace Mormonism?

[Meilingkie]

Good question 2BizE

And my answer is: I tried several churches over 4 years, but none fit the bill.
Or more exact, I didn't really fit them.
And other replacements, none really to be exact, I read more and do astronomy more.

I'd call that: "Getting the Mormon out of the Church is easier than getting the Mormon out of the Ex-Mormon"

So I occasionally attend the church, as a visiting acquaintance and nothing more.
I have friends there, and sometimes I attend, and sometimes I just visit them.
Actually just got home from the old friend who's dad was the SP + 4x BP.
He and his wife recently quit the church as well. With their 5 kids in tow.

[Hagoth]

Great to hear from Meilingkie! Thanks for dropping by. I hope you'll hang around for a while.

[Meilingkie]

Covid and some other issues have kept me away from the Church, and it's OK.
Been seeing a nice Greek-Dutch lady who lives 2 floors up.
Looks like this is a keeper, PhD in psychology, nice and normal.

Life is good.

[A New Name]

Looks like this is a keeper, PhD in psychology, nice and normal.

So you get free psychoanalysis out of this deal?

[moksha]

Looks like this is a keeper, PhD in psychology, nice and normal.

Life is good.

Being nice and a keeper sounds good, but not sure about that normal stuff. Seems unfamiliar.

[stealthbishop]

Thanks for the update. It's great to hear from you!

My kids both being in CBT for PTSD as a result of mormonism.

If you feel comfortable, could you say more about what was most traumatizing for them with Mormonism? If you don't feel comfortable sharing then I COMPLETELY understand. I'm curious about Religious Trauma Syndrome and how it manifests for different people and different religions but obviously specifically in our Mormon culture and/or LDS Church.

[Just This Guy]

Good to hear from you.

You say that they estimate 10-12% are not coming back after lock downs. Is that 10% from previous attendance level or 10% of membership in general?

[Gatorbait]

Thanks for checking in again. Sort of missed hearing about things going on over there in the old country across the pond, and from you. We don't hear a lot about the church growth or lack of it in Europe, apart from a few countries. England still seems to be going along but I did not know how grim it was in your corner of the world.

In contrast, in Eastern Idaho, especially around Idaho Falls, the activity rate is around 80%. Yep, you read it right and this during the last two years. They kept going to church, masks on but going. It is really going gang-busters there and more Mormons moving in all the time. My son in law is in the bishopric and their ward has split four times in the six years they have been there. He said that they don't even discuss church attendance. No need. They can't keep up with callings and everything else. Packed house every Sunday.

My son in law says that a good portion of people in their stake are assigned to BYU Idaho wards in Rexburg 20 miles north. Big focus us there on the students and it seems to be paying off. A lot of graduates and I'm not cynical at all about BYUI because lots of good has come from having it there. Good inexpensive education. Might be peddling a lot of untruth, but they are really helping the community there.

In any case, keep in touch noble mon and for the info.

[Meilingkie]

Good to hear from you.

You say that they estimate 10-12% are not coming back after lock downs. Is that 10% from previous attendance level or 10% of membership in general?

10% in general.
But abt 40-50% of previous attendance pre-Covid.

[Meilingkie]

Thanks for the update. It's great to hear from you!

My kids both being in CBT for PTSD as a result of mormonism.

If you feel comfortable, could you say more about what was most traumatizing for them with Mormonism? If you don't feel comfortable sharing then I COMPLETELY understand. I'm curious about Religious Trauma Syndrome and how it manifests for different people and different religions but obviously specifically in our Mormon culture and/or LDS Church.

They have to learn to think and fend for themselves. Given how sheltered they were kept by their mom, who left them to their own devices after the divorce has been painful.
Add in interviews which only the last few months the kids are opening up about. The pressure they felt in particular.
And ostracization because of how I acted and spoke up in Church.
Kids said: We thought we had friends, but they never were.

[stuck]

I remember being over there when I was deployed with the Guard during the first gulf war in 1991. A friend and I was happy that we placed a Book of Mormon with a girl from America that we met. And we saw a Mormon street musician playing his violin on the street and showing a temple with he and his wife. How things have changed right!? Glad to hear you're doing well Melinkie!