Three Months Down. 57 To Go.
Posted: Mon Jul 12, 2021 12:51 pm
I missed month two and I'm about a week early on this one, but it is what it is. 
LGBTQ
I have had no less then three people in my ward express heartfelt support for LGBTQ individuals in private conversations. In all three cases, the individuals seemed to think I might try to correct them or disagree with their viewpoint. I was happy to let them know I see nothing wrong with supporting LGTBQ rights and, contrary to their expectations, believe the church has a great deal of repenting to do on this matter.
Interviews with Minors
I have had some young men approach me and ask to talk about private matters. When issues of pornography and masturbation come up my emphasis is to let them know they are 100% normal, their feelings and the pull they feel towards sexual thoughts and action is God-given and therefore should not be shamed or repressed. I try to let them know that while they should discontinue practices that cause them to feel guilt, they have done nothing that would make them unworthy in any way.
For bishop's interviews that I and my counselors initiate parents are always encouraged to attend the actual interview with the permission of the child. Most parents seem to appreciate the option and nearly always have been in the room with us. I have also had conversations with one mother who has been going through a terrible divorce from an incredibly manipulative man for a few years now. She specifically requested no 1-on-1 interviews and absolutely no sexual/chastity questions for her daughters. Since I was already following that policy anyway I let her know I fully supported her.
Thank You Cards
I have magically become someone that people talk about in family home evenings. They write thank-you cards, and randomly deliver plates of cookies to my home. I love chocolate chip cookies, so I hate to complain, but I also feel uncomfortable with the whole thing. I'm the same guy I was six months ago and prepending "Bishop" to my church name does not mean their kids should be taught to trust me implicitly. I don't really know where I'm going with this...
Vacation Time
Three months in and I've had to use 3 days of personal vacation time from work to help out at weekday youth activities organized mostly by the stake. Not cool and not something I will continue to do in the future. If the stake wants to organize weekday activities then those organizers will have to staff the whole thing.
COVID Break
Several people, including the YW President, a single mother without a current calling, former Primary President, and a few others have privately expressed that the COVID shutdown was a huge relief for them. When church and its meetings all stopped they felt like the could finally breathe for the first time. They slept well on Saturday nights, and enjoyed entire weekends, for the first time. They weren't rushing around from pointless church activity to pointless church activity for the first time. A few even noted they were able to take family vacations of meaningful length without stressing about missing church for the first time. It was remarkable how similar their expressions of relief were given the large number of people and the variety in their circumstances.
I think many of them told me hesitantly, expecting to be reprimanded or reminded how critical it is to come to church every week. But all I told them was that I agreed and hoped the church's march toward "simplification" would continue.
Numbers
Our ward has shrunk, significantly. That is somewhat due to people leaving after COVID. A couple of families or individuals seem to have simply decided not to come back. I think the bigger cause in our ward is demographics. People have moved out and housing prices are preventing anyone else from moving in. An immediately adjacent ward with cheaper housing has grown from ~150/wk to almost 300/wk attendance. In the same time, our ward has gone from ~150/wk to barely ~100/wk many of whom go home after sacrament rather than stick around for 2nd hour. We are unable to fill many callings and several primary/SS classes are way too big but there is nothing we can really do about it at the moment.
Missionary Efforts
Nearly all of the current investigators in our ward are in need of some sort. Whether financial assistance or help getting rides around town or to work. They meet the missionaries - missionaries offer help of any kind - investigators take lesson and ask for money or rides - missionaries reach out to ward to provide promised help. Two investigators have even committed to baptism and then canceled as the date got closer and then disappear off the map. The only affect the current missionary effort is having in our ward is to burn out the few members who actually try to help.
DW
Mrs. Græy recently met up with a friend she hadn't seen in a couple years. This friend's husband was an (extremely orthodox bishop himself a few years ago for about 2 1/2 years until they moved. There was a recent rumor that the family had left the church, but that turned out to be false. They still go to church and their youngest is about to be baptized. However, the former-bishop-husband has apparently turned down all recent callings in order to serve in volunteer positions within the community.
DW is convinced that this man has also gone down the rabbit hole towards disbelief. I'm not so sure, but it is obvious that something has changed in his view of the Restored Gospel (TM).
Me
There are good days and bad days. Overall this whole gig isn't as terrible as I'd feared, although I still can't say accepting this calling wasn't a colossal mistake. Given all the conversations I had with DW leading up to accepting this calling, and all the discoveries of other nuanced members she has made in the last few months, I do feel like we are on better ground as a couple than ever before.
When visiting my own siblings last month one said they felt awkward hanging out with a bishop. Another said they would feel bad about swearing around me (they don't swear anyway). A third said their view of bishops has changed recently and they now recognize that bishops are just regular people with their own problems - I'm not sure if I should take that last one personally or not. Either way, I'm grateful for my non-member friends who don't give a f*** what my church calls me. They're still my friends with no change in perception or attitude.
LGBTQ
I have had no less then three people in my ward express heartfelt support for LGBTQ individuals in private conversations. In all three cases, the individuals seemed to think I might try to correct them or disagree with their viewpoint. I was happy to let them know I see nothing wrong with supporting LGTBQ rights and, contrary to their expectations, believe the church has a great deal of repenting to do on this matter.
Interviews with Minors
I have had some young men approach me and ask to talk about private matters. When issues of pornography and masturbation come up my emphasis is to let them know they are 100% normal, their feelings and the pull they feel towards sexual thoughts and action is God-given and therefore should not be shamed or repressed. I try to let them know that while they should discontinue practices that cause them to feel guilt, they have done nothing that would make them unworthy in any way.
For bishop's interviews that I and my counselors initiate parents are always encouraged to attend the actual interview with the permission of the child. Most parents seem to appreciate the option and nearly always have been in the room with us. I have also had conversations with one mother who has been going through a terrible divorce from an incredibly manipulative man for a few years now. She specifically requested no 1-on-1 interviews and absolutely no sexual/chastity questions for her daughters. Since I was already following that policy anyway I let her know I fully supported her.
Thank You Cards
I have magically become someone that people talk about in family home evenings. They write thank-you cards, and randomly deliver plates of cookies to my home. I love chocolate chip cookies, so I hate to complain, but I also feel uncomfortable with the whole thing. I'm the same guy I was six months ago and prepending "Bishop" to my church name does not mean their kids should be taught to trust me implicitly. I don't really know where I'm going with this...
Vacation Time
Three months in and I've had to use 3 days of personal vacation time from work to help out at weekday youth activities organized mostly by the stake. Not cool and not something I will continue to do in the future. If the stake wants to organize weekday activities then those organizers will have to staff the whole thing.
COVID Break
Several people, including the YW President, a single mother without a current calling, former Primary President, and a few others have privately expressed that the COVID shutdown was a huge relief for them. When church and its meetings all stopped they felt like the could finally breathe for the first time. They slept well on Saturday nights, and enjoyed entire weekends, for the first time. They weren't rushing around from pointless church activity to pointless church activity for the first time. A few even noted they were able to take family vacations of meaningful length without stressing about missing church for the first time. It was remarkable how similar their expressions of relief were given the large number of people and the variety in their circumstances.
I think many of them told me hesitantly, expecting to be reprimanded or reminded how critical it is to come to church every week. But all I told them was that I agreed and hoped the church's march toward "simplification" would continue.
Numbers
Our ward has shrunk, significantly. That is somewhat due to people leaving after COVID. A couple of families or individuals seem to have simply decided not to come back. I think the bigger cause in our ward is demographics. People have moved out and housing prices are preventing anyone else from moving in. An immediately adjacent ward with cheaper housing has grown from ~150/wk to almost 300/wk attendance. In the same time, our ward has gone from ~150/wk to barely ~100/wk many of whom go home after sacrament rather than stick around for 2nd hour. We are unable to fill many callings and several primary/SS classes are way too big but there is nothing we can really do about it at the moment.
Missionary Efforts
Nearly all of the current investigators in our ward are in need of some sort. Whether financial assistance or help getting rides around town or to work. They meet the missionaries - missionaries offer help of any kind - investigators take lesson and ask for money or rides - missionaries reach out to ward to provide promised help. Two investigators have even committed to baptism and then canceled as the date got closer and then disappear off the map. The only affect the current missionary effort is having in our ward is to burn out the few members who actually try to help.
DW
Mrs. Græy recently met up with a friend she hadn't seen in a couple years. This friend's husband was an (extremely orthodox bishop himself a few years ago for about 2 1/2 years until they moved. There was a recent rumor that the family had left the church, but that turned out to be false. They still go to church and their youngest is about to be baptized. However, the former-bishop-husband has apparently turned down all recent callings in order to serve in volunteer positions within the community.
DW is convinced that this man has also gone down the rabbit hole towards disbelief. I'm not so sure, but it is obvious that something has changed in his view of the Restored Gospel (TM).
Me
There are good days and bad days. Overall this whole gig isn't as terrible as I'd feared, although I still can't say accepting this calling wasn't a colossal mistake. Given all the conversations I had with DW leading up to accepting this calling, and all the discoveries of other nuanced members she has made in the last few months, I do feel like we are on better ground as a couple than ever before.
When visiting my own siblings last month one said they felt awkward hanging out with a bishop. Another said they would feel bad about swearing around me (they don't swear anyway). A third said their view of bishops has changed recently and they now recognize that bishops are just regular people with their own problems - I'm not sure if I should take that last one personally or not. Either way, I'm grateful for my non-member friends who don't give a f*** what my church calls me. They're still my friends with no change in perception or attitude.
.