Finally, a prophetic message that will fix everything!

[Hagoth]

https://newsroom.churchofjesuschrist.or ... nt-nelson
Any prophetic NOM predictions about what will be prophetically revealed?

[Palerider]

I'm not sure I would listen to this video if not for the extensive listing of all of Mr. Nelson's recommending and professional credentials.....

I mean what if they had said he was just a plain and simple plowboy trying to support his indigent family who never did a bad thing in his life and had a heart of gold?

[wtfluff]

Any prophetic NOM predictions about what will be prophetically revealed?

Stay on the "Covenant Path" and all will turn out OK. ESPECIALLY: Pay your TITHING! (Maybe not the tithing part, but if he doesn't mention his pet marketing term, well, I dunno, maybe you NOMies can make up a punishment for my lack of prophetic abilities.)

In other words: Absolutely nothing new, and absolutely nothing that can or will actually help out with the pandemic.


And: Maybe another useless mini hunger strike? (Fast.)

Maybe he'll dole out some tips on the best ways to pretend how to vacuum your home also.

[Hagoth]

And: Maybe another useless mini hunker strike? (Fast.)

If they do enough of them they will eventually get one close enough to the turning point that they can forget all the rest and take credit for turning the tide. I predict that there will be another day of fasting just before the vaccine becomes commonly available to everyone. And then, tada! a miracle.

[wtfluff]

And: Maybe another useless mini hunker strike? (Fast.)

If they do enough of them they will eventually get one close enough to the turning point that they can forget all the rest and take credit for turning the tide. I predict that there will be another day of fasting just before the vaccine becomes commonly available to everyone. And then, tada! a miracle.

Wait... What's a hunker strike? Refusing to sit on my couch and wait out COVID-19? "Thou shalt not hunker down!!!"

(Original post edited to fix funny spelling error as you can see...)

[jfro18]

I expect nothing new but a bunch of "Jesus loves you and cares for you even though a pandemic is killing over 1,000 Americans a day even after we did two worldwide fasts."

I'm cynical, of course, but I just think this is the result of the people at the COB realizing that more members are not going back, paying tithing, etc... and they're trying to find ways to be relevant in a situation that they clearly have no control or foresight on.

[wtfluff]

I was just reminded that an "insider" posted about a new church video coming out - 3 days ago on one of those other "apostate" sites.

That "insider" claimed that Rusty is finally gonna promote/endorse face coverings.

Now, we'll wait to see if the "insider" has prophetic powers.

[blazerb]

Why does it take a week to give the world a message of hope and healing? I can just imagine Moses, talking to the children of Israel as they suffer in Egypt saying, "I'll have some inspiring stuff to tell you next week. Tune in!" They just need a week to get the HeartSell technology integrated.

[Hagoth]

That "insider" claimed that Rusty is finally gonna promote/endorse face coverings.

It would be very disappointing if he didn't. And while he's at it maybe he'll include an inspired amendment to the Word of Wisdom that finally tells people that boiled water, including hot drinks, is the greatest development in medical history. I hope he will also say something to help members understand that being LDS does not require you to believe alt-Right rumors and conspiracies, or to vote for someone purely because of party affiliation.

[Apologeticsislying]

Gee, instead of a mere message, how about just doing a world wide healing using the priesthood already? Just why is there such a hold up? Of what possible moral justification is there? They've bragged for over a century that they have the powuh.

[2bizE]

My predictions:
1) will market the new PS5 to youth to draw Mormons away from the Xbox. (Has just bought $5 billion in Sony stocks)
2) don’t listen to the new liberal President Biden.
3) buy goats from the goat vending machines to help out the world.
4) we are hip because our leaders are now on Instagram.
5) let me show you all the wonderful things me and Wendi have done since being your prophet.

[Corsair]

That "insider" claimed that Rusty is finally gonna promote/endorse face coverings.

Promoting face coverings is on the leaderboard of "most disappointing things a prophet could say." This is not out of mask skepticism. It's out of rolling my eyes about how this would have been a lot more impactful 8 months ago. Having this be a message matching Joe Biden from last March would just make the prophet look annoyingly out of touch.

I don't think that the institutional LDS church has the bold spirit that would allow for a universally bold message any longer. Steve Bannon has more worldwide influence than Russell Nelson and Bannon was fired by the Trump administration three years ago.

[jfro18]

Does anyone remember the last time they hyped a message from Nelson?



It ended up being a whole lot of nothing, yet in the days leading up a lot of people thought it was going to be some real revelatory work.

This is nothing but heartsell style marketing in a situation where they are being exposed for having no ability to prophecy or stay relevant, and they need to keep members from walking away and never looking back.

[Five]

This is it. He's gonna surprise us all. 2020 truly is the "end" of the world.

"The brethren and I have long thought it over what the right course of action should be for the church and its members moving forward. I say think because none of us, from the time of Brigham have had any direct contact with the All-mighty..."

Anything less than that or anything that isn't a declarative statement that hasn't already been said by other prophets and apostles(such as pay tithing, read your scriptures, attend the temple, etc. Get a new, fresh declarative statement) then I agree, it will be a whole lot of nothing and not worth the hype.

[Reuben]

"Be sure to drink your Ovaltine."

[wtfluff]

"Be sure to drink your Ovaltine."

Absolutely Brilliant!!!

[Hermey]

Instead of directly mentioning tithing, they'll just wrap it in needing to keep a current temple recommend and they'll do some big push to get more temple recommend holders. It'll be a test from the Lord during the pandemic..... J.C.'s watching!!!

Love the Ovaltine line, Reuben.

[Red Ryder]

It’s just another silly media event, right?

I thought so at first but I have a friend in the trucking business. Apparently there are a ton of new truck leasing contracts that were recently signed by a company called Transport Reserve, Inc (TRI) based out of Florida. He made a few calls and found someone who has seen the USDOT transportation manifests showing a caravan of trucks will be leaving Florida, driving through Houston and up to Salt Lake City before ending their route in Missouri.

Now I’m a bit skeptical so I pressed for details. Two days later he comes back and says TRI was registered by a Holding company called 2B Rail out of Panama which looks like another transportation type company with holdings in South America. Does anyone know if the church owns transportation companies in South America?

What do you think the church is up to?

TRI 2B Rail Event

[græy]

It’s just another silly media event, right?

I thought so at first but I have a friend in the trucking business. Apparently there are a ton of new truck leasing contracts that were recently signed by a company called Transport Reserve, Inc (TRI) based out of Florida. He made a few calls and found someone who has seen the USDOT transportation manifests showing a caravan of trucks will be leaving Florida, driving through Houston and up to Salt Lake City before ending their route in Missouri.

Now I’m a bit skeptical so I pressed for details. Two days later he comes back and says TRI was registered by a Holding company called 2B Rail out of Panama which looks like another transportation type company with holdings in South America. Does anyone know if the church owns transportation companies in South America?

What do you think the church is up to?

TRI 2B Rail Event

The scene. The build up. The development. And BAM! The punchline!

[Hagoth]

What do you think the church is up to?

TRI 2B Rail Event

If it wasn't a joke I'd suggest they were hording a toilet paper stockpile that will last from the opening of the first seal to the dedication of the Independence temple.

This is the newest redefining of the literal gathering of Israel. "Israel" in this case being a euphemism for "scrolls," based on Ezekiel's prophecy of the sticks of Judah and Joseph.