NOM

The obligation felt by TBMs which is brought on by the full "buy in" of the temple endowment is extremely controlling. If a member doesn't try to introduce the church they're not fulfilling their temple obligation. Their "forever family" could be at risk. I'm sure I made some real mistakes with other people in pushing the church's agenda before leaving the church. And it bothers me from time to time.

It's so difficult to realize that our loved one is living in a bit of a delusional world and we wish we could wake them up from their dream. They're sincere and well intentioned. Much of what they do is based in goodness. Criticizing them only reinforces the persecution complex built in by church culture and makes the TBM question who's influence you're under.

It's really a no win situation.

The best thing a spouse can do is keep loving the other and wait/hope for that time when the truth will win out.

Blashyrkh wrote: ↑Mon Sep 07, 2020 10:03 am So my wife is pretty faithful LDS. We met this great couple who moved into our neighborhood and we really hit it off. Fast forward a few months and my wife felt "prompted," to start talking about the church. I said that living in Utah they will probably hear it eventually and that she should just let it go. Well, after constant badgering on my wife's part these great people really avoid us at all costs. Why can't LDS people just realize that not everyone wants to be part of their nonsense?

When you're raised in a multi-level marketing campaign world, it's really hard to shut it off.

But it's always driven me nuts how this mindset is so pervasive among TBMs. Even as a believer I would've rather died than brought up the church around friends, but I think that comes from being a convert who was not raised in the church. I guess I knew what a turn off it could be, as opposed to being told as a child that every member is a missionary.

I remember watching a Youtube video before of people deliberately crossing to the other side of the street to avoid Mormon missionaries. Hopefully, the neighbors won't have to go to that extreme. If sometime in the future the occasion arises, just offer a simple apology.

Good point. It is exactly like meeting new neighbors who seem as if they would be interesting and fun to know, because they are so outgoing. Then one day, the doorbell rings, and the new neighbors are standing there with trial products from Amway, or Arbonne, or any other multi-level marketing company, and they want to sign you up. They want to come in and give you a 60 minute high pressure sales pitch about how their company is the best in the world, and you need it. You really, really, need it; and they won't take no for an answer.

Then you realize: This fun-loving, outgoing couple, who was eager to strike up a conversation, or socialize, or who always waved at us when we backed out of the driveway -- they didn't want to just be friends. They saw us as a sales target -- a "mark" in the advertising world. They did not see us as people -- just as an entity to whom they could give a 60 minutes sales pitch. Pitching for a church is the same as pitching a multi-level marketing product, or a time share, or anything else. It's the job of the salesperson to convince the target that whatever is being sold is invaluable, and the target cannot live without it.

This sounds cynical, but a cult is a cult, is a cult. When the person who is targeted realizes what is happening, they usually react with dismay. They realize that they were never seen as a person, just someone to be softened up for a sales pitch. That's what the TBM wife is doing. When the neighbors refuse to be proeslytized, the TBM then backs away, and the neighbors back away; and the potential friendship is ruined.

To everyone who has a TBM relative who likes to proselytize and does not understand why they are being turned down --- try to explain it as someone who is selling Amway, or Avon, or Magic Chef, or a time share. They win your trust be pretending to want to be friends with you. But in the end, you are seen as just another target, a sales mark, who is ripe for a sales pitch. -- Wndr.

I blame the underwear!

Blashyrkh wrote: ↑Mon Sep 07, 2020 10:03 am So my wife is pretty faithful LDS. We met this great couple who moved into our neighborhood and we really hit it off. Fast forward a few months and my wife felt "prompted," to start talking about the church. I said that living in Utah they will probably hear it eventually and that she should just let it go. Well, after constant badgering on my wife's part these great people really avoid us at all costs. Why can't LDS people just realize that not everyone wants to be part of their nonsense?

Does your wife know her shannanigans are the reason they are avoiding you?

I too hate how the church thinks we need to convert everybody !! Not everyone wants religion in their life. I also hate how we as members must pass all the tests like belief in.the BOM , the one true church, prophet worship etc etc etc funny the Coc does not require the faith tests.