A Divine Parable for theists, or for atheists and agnostics- Science Fiction: THE FIRST DAY--1,000 YEARS A.C. (Or, Something I Dreamed Last Night 2/28/2020)
Disclaimer: It’s likely some readers may find this tale blasphemous, or simply unbelievable. Kindly remember that many people responded in the same way to Joseph Smith’s “King Follett Discourse.” Try to understand the message in the spirit in which it is given. As a life-long member of the LDS culture, I know people who think that heaven is somewhat like the scenes I write below. They may not agree with some of the twists and turns of the story, they may feel that I am representing heaven completely wrong, but they do believe in a God who is a man, who controls the universe, or at least this world, and who is following a plan that has been used before on other worlds.
Setting: After the Seventh Day of Rest, and the first day (1,000 years) of their respective worlds Al, Cal, and El get together at the Celestial Café/Coffee Shop and discuss the events of their respective 7,000 year plans. (see: D&C 77) You will probably recognize El as the God of our World, and the Father of Jesus Christ, the Messiah. Below I summarize some of El’s policies below, as viewed by Latter-day Saints, from recent times to the eve of creation.
El's 11th hour adjustments-- Women can pray in general conference, roll-backs (and back and forth) on LGBT policies, 2 hour church, changes to temple clothes. (men don't have to tie hat stings, women’s veils, etc.)
El's sixth day adjustments—Restoration, temple ordinances temple clothes. Black people can attend temple, all males can have the priesthood. Blood atonement and polygamy are taught and then rescinded, though not necessarily in that order.
El's early adjustments-- global flood, choosing the 12 tribes of Israel, ethnic cleansing and/or genocide, (see Deuteronomy 20:17, Deuteronomy 29, Joshua, and 1st Samuel 15) the law of Moses, including animal sacrifice, Abrahamic test, dark skin is for losers (see: Moses 7:8,22, 2nd Nephi 5:21) Enoch and city translated. Extended great apostacy.
El's preexistence-- loses 1/3 right out of the gate.
Al is a contemporary of El and runs his planets 7,000-year plan with some interesting changes. I have always wondered why, according to LDS teachings, God seems to insist that spirits make an immediate decision to agree to go to earth or be cast out. Could it be possible that some spirits would benefit from waiting to get a little more experience, or seasoning?
Al's—modified plan. He negotiated a peace for the war heaven by giving rebellious spirits a “triple option:”
1. Go to earth on the standard plan,
2. Stay in heaven for a few more millenniums while waiting for a transfer to a later world, or
3. Go to earth but choose the “die before accountability (8 years) guarantee.”
Al sends a personal open vision to every seeker. This addresses another question I’ve had. Why did God appear to some- prophets- and particularly Joseph Smith, but not others. Al also says baptism and other ordinances are nice but not required, and his plan is more grace oriented. The careful observer will notice Al’s third option is completely based on grace, although some theologians might argue it rewards a spirits works previous to this life. Yet as Al points out, it is no different from plans for other worlds, except that he gives his spirit children the choice of the three options, in other words- Agency. Heavenly wife (wives) can have test tube multiple spiritual babies. Al’s Messiah came in year 500 A.C. (after creation) – He has no Crucifixion, no Judas; His Savior just suffers and dies. There are two other significant policy changes. Al’s Messiah wrote his own Testament, and his Savior comes during era of mass communications. (The Superstar option)
Cal—Asks the questions, and seems a little slow, but maybe he really isn’t. He only has one wife. Maybe that’s because he’s slow, or maybe it’s because he has more intelligence.
CONVERSATION AT THE CELESTIAL CAFE
Cal: Wow, this brew is celestial. So how are your seven-day plans working so far?
El: “I just follow the plan-- nothing fancy.
Al: “I’m happy with the way my Plan of Salvation has been working. I have tweaked it a bit. I’ve been giving everybody who sincerely prays a “heavenly vision, and either me, the missus(s), or the Messiah appear and give the basic facts of salvation in a first-hand open vision. We decided to have our Messiah born after the first five hundred years- 500 A.F. (after the fall) It gets the Good News out to more of my children. My civilization has progressed pretty rapidly; I included some inventor spirits in the first few generations. The printing press came out about 200 A.F. and mass media a couple of hundred years after that. It works well to have your scientific-minded spirits be born relatively early on, so our Messiah was able to spread the word faster. I mean our “kingdom of God” really snowballed. I call it my “Jesus Christ, Superstar” campaign. except for about 30% of the spirits who didn’t seek answers in the first five hundred years, we won’t need much retro-active ordinance work.
El: “It sounds like you’re making it too easy for your spirit children. They need more opposition to get the real mortal experience. I’ve had murders, trials, war, infant mortality, disease, and a few natural disasters to toughen up my spiritual kids. I’ll send some inspiration. Pretty soon I’ll start sending architect spirits; I’ve got a promising spirit child by the name of Imhotep. My foresight tells me he will be building pyramids before very long. (note: the first pyramids are estimated to have been built around 2700 B.C., or 1300 A.F.) It’s unfortunate that lately most of my spirit children are getting downright disobedient. I’ve been thinking a world-wide flood is just the thing to shake them up. You know- start over with a clean slate.”
Cal: “You’re right El. Plus with the flood a few of the victims will get that pre-accountability benefit, you know when they die before their 8th birthday. Hey Al, don’t you think El is right? It sounds like your world is for sissy spirits. And how did you get your Messiah killed? You haven’t forgotten that’s the way it still works, have you?
Al: I had been thinking about that. I heard about the new pilot program in one of those far galaxies where they didn’t murder their Messiah.
El: “What the-! You can’t do that! There needs to be opposition, real opposition; and sin and, sons of perdition, and martyrs, and that just sounds all wrong.”
Cal: “Yeah, what about the blood. You remember the policy- or is it the doctrine? You have animal sacrifices before the Messiah, you know, to symbolize and point ahead to his death and then the Messiah dies the bloody death, I think sweating blood is still standard procedure.
Al: don’t worry. We have death. Our first parents came through on the temptation event just fine. My Eve really put the moves on my Adam, and she was a trooper with childbirth; By the way, I did have my science spirits Louis Pasteur and Robert Koch born just a hundred years after the Messiah died. He left some scripture that helped them figured out microbes. And you wouldn’t believe the medical advancements they came up with. When the scientific spirits live into their 900’s they just seem to discover all sorts of things. The only problem was it really lowered the infant mortality.
Cal: That’s a problem?
Al: Yeah fewer spirits get the pre-accountability guarantee.
Cal: I see. El, what’s your DBC (note: death before accountability) rate.
El: It’s pretty typical- 25%.
Al: Our DBC is down but, our overall the Exaltation rate went through the roof.
Cal: So, did you still have your Messiah die?
Al: Yeah, it was a rock-climbing accident- plenty of blood, and everything.
El: Well, just so you don’t forget how important the blood is. Wait. What about your Judas, your son of perdition?
Al: Well he didn’t take the bait. He double-crossed the Pharisees and went into banking.
El: That is so messed up, Al. You know all the previous worlds had a Satan and a Judas. You can’t just leave that out. —pause-- Banking, hmmm? So at least there is a slight chance he’ll become a son of perdition? (apologies to my banker friends, wink- Boyd)
Al: I suppose so.
--Pause—
Cal- So how do your wives like the spirit pregnancy thing?
El: My wives are fine with it. What’s to complain about?
Al: Well I’ve been using the test tube spirit-birth process. It was inspired by the physical test tube babies one of the previous worlds came up with. My wives talked me into it. I only have the two you know. They would have had to have spirit septuplets to keep up with the plan.
El: Test tube spirits, test tube spirits, I’m sick of hearing about test tube spirits. Doesn’t anyone reproduce their spirits the old-fashioned way any-more? What’s the point of having wives anyway?
Al: Well I’ve discovered wives are quite helpful. You know answering prayers, minor creation and stuff. They did some of the fine tuning in creating my world. Wife #1 did the fjords, and wife #2 created some lovely species of flowers.
Cal: Nice how that worked out for you.
El: (sarcastic) Nice that worked out! -- Cal, can’t you see where Al is going with this? I mean, WIVES creating fjords and flowers. Who does that, other that our panty-waist friend here? Next thing you know wives will be creating plants and animals. Makes me wonder if Al even “knows” his wives spiritually anymore.
Al: (slightly annoyed) El, my wives and I still “know” each other spiritually plenty of times. They just like creating stuff other than spirits. And they’re pretty good at it. They’re great communicators. I think the dreams and visions they send to my World are as good as mine.
Cal: So, El did you have many scientist spirits born yet?
El: No, I’m leading off with my prophets. Save the scientist spirits for the last days.
Cal: How’s that working?
El: Like I said, my kids are getting darned unruly on my world. I think it’s about time to wipe them out—global flood style. As far as I know, all our Father Gods used a universal Flood. -pause- I haven’t researched “the far Galaxies.”
Cal: Do your spirit children all get to hear the gospel?
El: I’ve had Enoch working on it. He has been preaching for more than 200 years. He’s literally moving mountains. But those devils and demons are fighting back. I just barely translated him and his city.
I plan on Noah being born in about 56 years. (Note: according to Genesis Enoch was born 622 A.F. and was translated 987 A.F.) (Noah was born about 1056 years after creation) I’ll have him doing some preaching, and his sons are scheduled to be born about 500 years later. That Noah, (chuckles) my fore-knowledge tells me he’s likely to be slow on the pro-creating assignment. But he and his sons will have to get moving on the animals and the ark because my flood is scheduled for 1656 A.F. They don’t have time to preach to the whole world. My vicarious ordinances will make up for that.
Al: Hey, you should try a little more revelation. You might save a few more people from your flood. It worked wonders in my world. My second wife appeared to Lamech’s wives and they repented and then double teamed on old Lamech. -chuckles- He’s solid Terrestrial material now. It was beautiful.
El: If they won’t listen to a prophet, they won’t listen to revelation. That’s what I’ve always been taught. Anyway, I’ll save revelations for later. I’ve got this great plan; you see I’m going to have Shem and Elias or was it Melchizedek and Elijah? —ponders—hmmm, well that’s still in the planning stages.
Al: But El, how many of your children are raised in the gospel. In my world the media, the magazines and the scriptures are pretty much everywhere. I mean everyone hears the gospel in their homes.
El: Hey, I know what I’m doing. My world doesn’t have your fancy-schmantzy media yet. They get their gospel the good old-fashioned way— faith in prophets. And none too many prophets either. You know you’ve got to conserve on prophets. Save a few for the last days.
Cal: But Al says he sends open visions to everyone who asks. That seems like it’s working well for his children.
El: Yeah, but I bet he isn’t building real faith. You know what I mean? Faith can’t be something you see, like open, wide awake visions. What kind of faith is that?
Al: Well, I think if they are willing to pray sincerely, that shows real faith. Your give your prophets visions when they do that. Why shouldn’t everybody get them?
El. I don’t plan on giving all my prophets open visions and revelations. Once my Church is established, they don’t need them. They’ll direct the Church by impressions, dreams, even consensus building in meetings. (lots of meetings) but that’s way in the future. I may even let them follow the prevailing culture sometimes. Burial or cremation, polygamy or monogamy, doctrine or policy. Heh, heh. It might result in a couple of races having to wait a few years, or decades for the priesthood, but so be it. That teaches prophets to stand up for themselves.
Cal: Yeah, prophets need faith too.
El: If you can believe it Cal, Al doesn’t even have real temptation in His world.
Cal: Oh really? What’s that about?
Al: Well when we explained The Plan some of my spirit children got a little anxious. You know kids. There was the usual talk of rebellion. So, I told them I’d give them some other options, basically three: you know pre-agency, or as we Gods call it- eternal agency? If they didn’t want to risk the earth-life yet they could: 1-stay in heaven a little longer, 2-put in for a transfer to a later planet. Or 3-they could exercise a pre-accountability option- they die before they become accountable. Every God has used the pre-accountability option with some of their children. They’re completely saved by the grace of the Messiah. Every one of my spirit children signed up for one of those options; Every single one. So, I didn’t end up with any demons.
Not even your Satan?
Al: Lucifer thought about the pre-accountability option, but then when he saw what all the other spirits were choosing he put in for a transfer; He said he would be more useful on another planet.
El: See what I mean, Cal? What kind of probation can you have if there aren’t any demons?
Cal: Do they still go through the veil?
Al: Yes, everybody still goes through the veil……. Well time, I mean eternity is flying. I’ll give you guys more details later. I better go. The wives are waiting to go shopping at the GalaxyCo. They’re having a special on comets! See you tomorrow- I mean in a thousand years. Heh, heh.
AFTERWARDS
3/1/2020 I dreamed an impossible happy ending to this. If I tell it to you it can’t come true. But think of the parable of the lost sheep, of the prodigal son, of the laborers in the vineyard. Think of a Mother’s love. You see, I dreamed an impossible dream last night. And now I can barely remember it. I’ve already forgotten the words I said as I woke up.
Perhaps you will have the same dream.
