Bad movie night: Yoga Hosers
Posted: Fri Apr 03, 2020 7:04 pm
https://imdb.com/title/tt3838992/
I usually avoid bad comedies because they almost always hurt with no payoff. They tend to commit filmmaking's only moral sin: being boring.
But this bad comedy is special.
This one starts in the back room of a convenience store named Eh-2-Zed, which has a Canadian flag in the window and sells artisanal maple syrup, where two spoiled white girls 1) try to lay down a beat and fail comedically, 2) fail to actually make that funny, and 3) fail to convince us that they're Canadian by saying "sorey aboot that" in a West Coast accent. Oh, and at the end of their song, the drummer does a terrible 60-second solo and rips off his shirt, so the girls take pictures of his nipples and post them on Instagram.
The opening scenes make you want to gnaw off your foot to escape, but I recommend getting through them because the movie gets a lot worse.
See, the girls - who are total hosers and totally into Dark Yoga - mistreat a customer. So he leaves the store, and then while he's walking home, something tiny and evil that repeatedly says "wunderbar" tears through his pants, crawls into his butt, and kills him.
That's the kind of comedy this is.
I won't give much more plot because I don't want to deprive anyone who watches this disasterpiece of any of the 10 remaining sublime omg-wtf moments. But I will say that you'll see the Sixth Sense kid stumping for Canadian Nazis, Johnny Depp playing a raggedy French inspector whose moles move around between scenes, and the weirdest and smallest CGI army of darkness ever.
Quality: 3.5/10
Stimulation: 8/10
I usually avoid bad comedies because they almost always hurt with no payoff. They tend to commit filmmaking's only moral sin: being boring.
But this bad comedy is special.
This one starts in the back room of a convenience store named Eh-2-Zed, which has a Canadian flag in the window and sells artisanal maple syrup, where two spoiled white girls 1) try to lay down a beat and fail comedically, 2) fail to actually make that funny, and 3) fail to convince us that they're Canadian by saying "sorey aboot that" in a West Coast accent. Oh, and at the end of their song, the drummer does a terrible 60-second solo and rips off his shirt, so the girls take pictures of his nipples and post them on Instagram.
The opening scenes make you want to gnaw off your foot to escape, but I recommend getting through them because the movie gets a lot worse.
See, the girls - who are total hosers and totally into Dark Yoga - mistreat a customer. So he leaves the store, and then while he's walking home, something tiny and evil that repeatedly says "wunderbar" tears through his pants, crawls into his butt, and kills him.
That's the kind of comedy this is.
I won't give much more plot because I don't want to deprive anyone who watches this disasterpiece of any of the 10 remaining sublime omg-wtf moments. But I will say that you'll see the Sixth Sense kid stumping for Canadian Nazis, Johnny Depp playing a raggedy French inspector whose moles move around between scenes, and the weirdest and smallest CGI army of darkness ever.
Quality: 3.5/10
Stimulation: 8/10
