NOM

I don't want to jinx myself, but a few developments might lean that I have attended church regularly for the last time. We'll see.

I'm not so naive that We'll never enter an LDS meetinghouse again, but we might be done with regular attendance.

Mrs Kori is back in SLC already to be with the family for the holidays. Since I'm home alone, no going to church for me

Mrs Kori texts me today that she's doesn't want to go to SM anymore and to remind her of what she said if she says she wants to go again. Additionally, she has been going to see a counselor to help with the several challenges she's currently facing and the counselor recommended she take 2 months off going to church.

Also, we've had talks and I've shared I don't want to go anymore.

So it seems the perfect storm has been created. A new year is just around the corner. She doesn't have a calling anymore, she hates SM, the counselor suggests taking time off.
Today in SM (with her mom in the ward she grew up in) she said the talks were completely unfulfilling and have been for many weeks.

Maybe 2017 is looking brighter???

That sounds really promising to me. I think a mental health break for a couple of months is definitely a good start. Maybe you can be a member of the 2017 "Not Even Once Club?"

I've been a proud annual member for the last two years, and it is awesome. Once you get up the courage to walk out the door without plans to return, it does get easier.

This is completely unfair, Brother Korihor. I first had lunch with you about a year and a half ago and you were in a painful area of your faith transition. Since then you have completely passed most of the Phoenix NOM lunch crowd in moving to a post LDS phase of your life. If this were a game I would claim you are cheating. But instead I have to believe that this is some kind of sorcery.

On the other hand, have a glorious 2017.

Corsair wrote:This is completely unfair, Brother Korihor. I first had lunch with you about a year and a half ago and you were in a painful area of your faith transition. Since then you have completely passed most of the Phoenix NOM lunch crowd in moving to a post LDS phase of your life. If this were a game I would claim you are cheating. But instead I have to believe that this is some kind of sorcery.

On the other hand, have a glorious 2017.

You are correct, it is extremely unfair. I have received much more than I could have possibly attempted to give. My NOM Brothers and Sisters are my personal saviours in navigating these tumultuous seas the past year and a half.
Bishop Corsair has been the sage advice to so many here. Others have been absolutely crucial, you know who you are. To those I haven't met in person, I feel like kindred spirits on so many levels.

Of course, I'm not leaving NOM. I might still be attending church in 2017, who knows. It's just a possibility that regular attendance has come to an end. Mrs Kori wants to continue to attend RS even if we don't go to SM.

Admittedly, I probably have cheated, used sorcery and resurrected every trick in the book that I could find.

For any of you reading this with a tinge of envy, PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE know that all is not a bed of roses. There are many difficult aspects of our marriage currently. Many times I have thought it might have been better to keep my mouth shut and just pretended for the rest of my life. I feel like I have risked everything. Sometimes with big risk comes big reward, but a big risk can also result in losing everything. We hear about the winners, but not the losers. Our fate is still unclear, but just know that it continues to be a very very big risk.

Corsair wrote:This is completely unfair, Brother Korihor. I first had lunch with you about a year and a half ago and you were in a painful area of your faith transition. Since then you have completely passed most of the Phoenix NOM lunch crowd in moving to a post LDS phase of your life. If this were a game I would claim you are cheating. But instead I have to believe that this is some kind of sorcery.

On the other hand, have a glorious 2017.

You are correct, it is extremely unfair. I have received much more than I could have possibly attempted to give. My NOM Brothers and Sisters are my personal saviours in navigating these tumultuous seas the past year and a half.
Bishop Corsair has been the sage advice to so many here. Others have been absolutely crucial, you know who you are. To those I haven't met in person, I feel like kindred spirits on so many levels.

Of course, I'm not leaving NOM. I might still be attending church in 2017, who knows. It's just a possibility that regular attendance has come to an end. Mrs Kori wants to continue to attend RS even if we don't go to SM.

Admittedly, I probably have cheated, used sorcery and resurrected every trick in the book that I could find.

For any of you reading this with a tinge of envy, PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE know that all is not a bed of roses. There are many difficult aspects of our marriage currently. Many times I have thought it might have been better to keep my mouth shut and just pretended for the rest of my life. I feel like I have risked everything. Sometimes with big risk comes big reward, but a big risk can also result in losing everything. We hear about the winners, but not the losers. Our fate is still unclear, but just know that it continues to be a very very big risk.

Life is about risk. Keeping quiet and pretending is a different kind of risk. We all have different tolerances for what we're willing to accept and sacrifice, and healthy growth comes from making the choices that we can live with and accepting when others in our lives do the same.

Corsair wrote:This is completely unfair, Brother Korihor. I first had lunch with you about a year and a half ago and you were in a painful area of your faith transition. Since then you have completely passed most of the Phoenix NOM lunch crowd in moving to a post LDS phase of your life. If this were a game I would claim you are cheating. But instead I have to believe that this is some kind of sorcery.

On the other hand, have a glorious 2017.

You Phoenicians have created a monster!

A margarita fueled Monster, who has maneuvered through the faith transition stages leaving a wake of destruction and a recycle bin full of Mormon CD's, lesson manuals, and crappy mormon books.

Don't you all feel somewhat responsible?

Congrats on the freedom Kori! Good luck in the next phase.

Move down here by me. The 2:00 block is the perfect way to polish off any final drive to go to church.

Definitely sounds like good news to me! I think the risks are worth taking. I too have considered the attend and pretend life, but I'm thinking it is the more difficult path and still has its own risks.

Perhaps you could solidify this with your wife by including it as both of your new years resolutions.

Congratulations to you family Korihor.

Sounds like life will be nicer in your home. Of course dropping in to see how the other side lives doesn't hurt either. It will remind you why you don't attend.
I will go for my annual visit this week.