NOM

Salt Lake City, Utah
March 9, 2020

Today the senior leadership of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints (LDS) announced adjustments to the LDS church temple procedures. President Russell M. Nelson stated “In the world we live in today, where good vs evil continues to rage, we as members of the one true church we can all do our part to save the world from COVID-19 by attending the temple and participating in the sacred ordinance found there in. Starting today, all temples across the world will be retrofitted to accommodate large storage tanks of Lysol. As more members of the church attend the temple, these Lysol storage tanks will pump disinfected spray through Moroni’s trumpet and cleanse the world of all virus’ while redeeming the dead.

Next open mic Sunday, all TBMs bear their testimony about the truly prophetic design of Moroni's trumpet and the use of consecrated Lysol.

It would have to be Lysol, because all good mormons know the consecrated oil doesn't help anyone except those with the faith not to be healed.

Lysol, ha!

I’m reminded of the fact it was originally marketed as a feminine hygiene product. Early formulas also induced abortions.

And those who receive the 3rd anointing will be assured of a place in the Lysol Kingdom.