NOM

January 2019 I told my husband I didn’t believe the church was what it claimed to be. Things were rough for a while, but life went on. He wanted to talk through some of the issues but I had a difficult time wanting to because I just didn’t care anymore. I’d spent years having arguments and conversations in my head, planning on how to use data and scripture and historical points to make my arguments, and when he finally wanted to talk, I had difficultly mustering the energy. For years I held in so much anger, resentment, an infatuation with all things Mormon - it was as if by finally telling him the church wasn't true that I killed my Mormon obsession.

Now it’s a year later and my husband is in cognitive dissonance territory. I don’t know that he’ll ever get to where I am; he never took the church as seriously as I did. He’s where I was about 10-15 years ago, right before I went down the rabbit hole. We talk about stuff that bothers him but I don’t have it in me to actively research or read stuff about the church anymore.

I’ve gone for long stretches without checking NOM. I’ve probably only looked at exmo reddit a half dozen times in the last year. I decided not to renew my TR. I take paperback books to church and read them during sacrament meeting. I stopped going to second hour entirely. My husband was more angry than I was about the Ensign Peak incident. Local issues irritate me from time to time, and I’ll occasionally listen to a podcast (still subscribed) if I think the information might be interesting. I don’t ruminate about the might-have-beens, or what life could have been like if I’d left at twenty, married later, or been born into a different family…it’s all water under the bridge. If it weren’t for my husband’s local family, all of this frustration would probably be erased entirely.

I’m not sure how it happened, but the anger is gone. I don’t care anymore. I’m simply bored by Mormonism.

Congratulations you made it.

Simulation over.

Thanks for your wonderful input all these years MM. May your family and marriage be made whole as you find indifference to the church is the greatest destination.

I love when people graduate. Here’s your diploma!

This is the point when a person knows they're really over a relationship. Relationships aren't that much different between two individuals as compared to individuals and organizations.

When you don't love them anymore, don't hate them anymore, just have a sort of apathy but wish them well attitude.....you know you're done.

They can't hurt you anymore.

But I'm glad your husband is beginning his journey. There's hope in that. If you don't have the strength to go through the issues with him maybe just a recommendation of books to read would be helpful. I know there used to be a list here on NOM somewhere.

Right there with you MM. My DW has recently considered leaving the church, and sees the day when that could happen. However our life in the MorCor is so intertwined and we are not ready for the loss of community and backlash from family.

The boredom is real. The biting of tongues in family conversations is tough. Sometimes we slip up and get in heated conversations with family. It makes us want to either never talk of the church or to stop spending time with family.

Wow I have graduated as well because I just dont care anymore !!!! Isnt deliberate indifference great !!! Yes it's great they cant hurt me anymore , I am in a safe place on my spiritual journey ! Peace to all.

I don't foresee this happening to me... Until I'm dead.

Palerider wrote: ↑Sun Mar 08, 2020 11:07 am They can't hurt you anymore.

Beat me to it. All the ins and outs of Mormonism are meaningless unless you've built your life on it or feel threatened by it.

It's wonderful when you get to the place in your mind of "detachment." Congratulations. Today is the first day of the rest of your life. - Wndr.

Yes, the LDS church is boring and we are all better served by finding new hobbies. I admit that this is coming from the guy with the root password to this very forum. However, it's worth noting that as long as our closest friends and family members are still active LDS, this is not nearly as easy to accomplish.

Solidarity with you MerrieMiss- I am so fully bored of it all- but the best part is the church no longer has ANY control over me. I am always 2 steps forward and 1 step back with my DH. I think we have come to a point that we will no longer attend church on a regular basis. But my DH still holds on to beliefs. I can handle his resolve better than mandatory attendance.

The further away we get the more freeing it feels. I had to remind myself to not schedule a party on gen con weekend. Those rules are more like a distant memory.

I still like to lurk here- and try to post, but I live outside the Morridor- so I don't always know current events that you guys are talking about...