NOM

Observation #3: The Mormon church ain't going anywhere!

I use to have this hope that I was getting out of Mormonism as part of a huge tidal wave of disaffection from the church. I comforted myself that it was just a matter of time before others followed me out, and that we could all be one happy ex-mormon family together. Those of you who have been doing this for a while are probably getting a good laugh at this.

The ward and stake I live in are growing and baptizing converts, nobody is leaving. (anecdotal, but it hits home) The church is doing just fine. Statistically, for every member that quits 1+ members join. In a thousand years, I suspect there will still be a thriving, vibrant, Mormon church. It may look a little different, but it will still be going strong. (And they will still be convinced that Jesus is coming back any day!)

I used to share your views on all three points !!!! Now when I am running away from the church and I look back nobody and I mean nobody is coming with me !!! That hurts the most especially after I have pleaded my case over and over again and no positive results with the exception of my daughter. she wont leave the church but doesnt actively support it either. I get told to stop with the "anti mormon stuff " when I try to discuss anything about the church. Oh well I guess as with many others we will continue to suffer in silence.

Your neck of the woods is tricky.

Up here they just carved off people from various wards to realign and create a new ward.

So I get a fresh start to be half assed again.

That’s growth baby!!

Mackman wrote: ↑Mon Dec 09, 2019 1:14 pmOh well I guess as with many others we will continue to suffer in silence.

Yep, exactly. I didn't think all the family would "become awake" but I figured at least one might. Now, I sure won't be holding my breath.

Only one of my kids went to church last Sunday. I know several families in our area who are all out. We're having an apostate ornament and cookie exchange this coming Sunday .

Angel wrote: ↑Mon Dec 09, 2019 9:41 pm Only one of my kids went to church last Sunday. I know several families in our area who are all out. We're having an apostate ornament and cookie exchange this coming Sunday .

Sometimes I wonder if I had someone to chill with on a regular basis IRL, if it would be easier to let go of some of the bitterness I am feeling right now.

slavereeno wrote: ↑Tue Dec 10, 2019 10:01 am

Angel wrote: ↑Mon Dec 09, 2019 9:41 pm Only one of my kids went to church last Sunday. I know several families in our area who are all out. We're having an apostate ornament and cookie exchange this coming Sunday .

Sometimes I wonder if I had someone to chill with on a regular basis IRL, if it would be easier to let go of some of the bitterness I am feeling right now.

We can make this happen.

PM me for deets!

Red Ryder wrote: ↑Tue Dec 10, 2019 10:09 am

slavereeno wrote: ↑Tue Dec 10, 2019 10:01 am Sometimes I wonder if I had someone to chill with on a regular basis IRL, if it would be easier to let go of some of the bitterness I am feeling right now.

We can make this happen.

PM me for deets!

Seriously, Slavereeno, would you like to join an apostate bowling league?

Corsair wrote: ↑Tue Dec 10, 2019 10:20 am Seriously, Slavereeno, would you like to join an apostate bowling league?

Yes! But I won't be able to until like March. In my attempts to do something constructive I did actually land a substantial part in a musical that will keep me pretty busy until March. (Of course the part I landed did not make the family very happy, but that's another story)

slavereeno wrote: ↑Tue Dec 10, 2019 10:01 am

Angel wrote: ↑Mon Dec 09, 2019 9:41 pm Only one of my kids went to church last Sunday. I know several families in our area who are all out. We're having an apostate ornament and cookie exchange this coming Sunday .

Sometimes I wonder if I had someone to chill with on a regular basis IRL, if it would be easier to let go of some of the bitterness I am feeling right now.

I've got some stories that might make you feel better about your situation.

Kishkumen wrote: ↑Tue Dec 10, 2019 11:42 am I've got some stories that might make you feel better about your situation.

I am all ears!

Red Ryder wrote: ↑Tue Dec 10, 2019 10:09 am

slavereeno wrote: ↑Tue Dec 10, 2019 10:01 amSometimes I wonder if I had someone to chill with on a regular basis IRL, if it would be easier to let go of some of the bitterness I am feeling right now.

We can make this happen.

PM me for deets!

Just want to agree/backup your local cohorts: IRL contact with like-minds DOES help.

slavereeno wrote: ↑Tue Dec 10, 2019 10:01 am

Angel wrote: ↑Mon Dec 09, 2019 9:41 pm Only one of my kids went to church last Sunday. I know several families in our area who are all out. We're having an apostate ornament and cookie exchange this coming Sunday .

Sometimes I wonder if I had someone to chill with on a regular basis IRL, if it would be easier to let go of some of the bitterness I am feeling right now.

I felt so alone - hid in a cave for years... first through dealing with abuse, and then through leaving the church. I have some relatives from other religious groups I can't tell as I do not want to join their church either... I have friends at work I cannot be open with because I don't want to seem too crazy... "trauma bonded" I think applies to fellow ex-mo's - so good to have someone who gets it, that you can be open with. Hope you can find your tribe, hugs!!

I should add things are not yet settled at home, dh has some issues we are still working through and was at first very angry with me for 'tearing apart his faith' ... I see church as dangerous now... told him 'don't blame the messenger - I'm not the one who lied, manipulated, abused - I did not tear down your faith, it is not my fault the church is not true.. with fam members there are always extra complications ...

We might have a new recruit Sat... someone still in might join our little group of out's... should be interesting.

Sad truth is that homo sapiens is not a particularly rational species of animal. I think Plato was more correct in this regard, defining humans as "featherless bipeds". Aristotle's "rational animal" just doesn't seem to fit.

People believe what they believe for many reasons, and tend to ignore logical consistency and scientific evidence if it helps them get along better with their tribe. Every so often someone makes the unwilling discovery that church teachings are hopelessly at odds with science, and eventually adjusts their beliefs accordingly. But they are in the minority.

The good news is that there are many people who strive to be both rational and moral in this world, and are there is you look hard enough. If you need a "tribe" (and most of us do), you won't find better. Some of them are right here in NomLand.

Hopefully you will find peace with your family. Most everyone discovers eventually that argument and laying out of facts don't convince people of anything they haven't discovered themselves. So the best we can do is try to live an intentional, ethical, truth-oriented life ourselves, find others trying to do likewise, and love the people who aren't for what they are, family included.