Does your spouse know you post on NOM?

Red Ryder · Post by **Red Ryder** » Tue Oct 22, 2019 1:29 pm

If no, why not?

jfro18 · Post by **jfro18** » Tue Oct 22, 2019 2:17 pm

My wife knows I post within a group that is more constructive than places like reddit, but I've never told her the name of the site because I don't want her reading what I write until she's truly ready to talk about it. As of now she refuses to talk about anything in detail, so it's just not worth it.

wtfluff · Post by **wtfluff** » Tue Oct 22, 2019 4:15 pm

Nope.

My spouse doesn't want to know anything about my "apostate lifestyle."

You know... Passive aggressive mormon-style: If they ignore it long enough, it will go away right? In actuality, that method will work... When I die, my apostate-ness will go away.

MerrieMiss · Post by **MerrieMiss** » Tue Oct 22, 2019 5:03 pm

I don't think he knows I post on NOM. If he does, he's keeping very quiet about it.

Although it's a public space and never truly anonymous, I've felt able to post things here that are more personal than I would ever say to most people in real life. After I told my husband I no longer believed earlier this year I was worried he'd find NOM and find me and be upset at the things I posted, particularly about our relationship. As a result, I posted less often than before, and then I kind of stopped reading regularly as well which created a much needed break from Mormonism. But back to whether my husband knows, no, I've never told him. I prefer this to be my own personal space.

I posted a similar question earlier this year.

blazerb · Post by **blazerb** » Tue Oct 22, 2019 5:26 pm

My wife does not need to know everything about me so I don't feel the need to share that I post here. It would undoubtedly lead to interviews with local leaders. I don't need that.

Culper Jr. · Post by **Culper Jr.** » Tue Oct 22, 2019 8:31 pm

I don't tell her, but I don't "not tell her". If I mention something I read here I just say "I read on the internet that..." and she never asks for specifics. I've told her about my disaffection in general several times, and then the next day she goes on and interacts with me like it never happened. Every time I bring it up it's like starting over. The same shock and hurt surface and her comments are as if she is hearing it for the first time. It's like living in the movie Groundhog Day. I just got tired of going through that and we don't discuss it.

Just This Guy · Post by **Just This Guy** » Wed Oct 23, 2019 7:52 am

Yes, DW knows I post here. She will read through the site once in a while. I have invited her to join in, but she has yet to sign up. She doesn't get into the forum style of message board much.

stuck · Post by **stuck** » Wed Oct 23, 2019 9:53 am

No because she might feel bad about it although she knows of my dissaffection. It is nice to have a group like this though to commiserate with when the slog gets bad.

deacon blues · Post by **deacon blues** » Wed Oct 23, 2019 10:51 am

Yes she knows. I wish she would read it or ask me more about it than she does, but we occasionally discuss religion, and I appreciate that.

hmb · Post by **hmb** » Wed Oct 23, 2019 5:27 pm

No because my DH is a nevermo and couldn't care less. For that I am truly grateful!! Amen.

græy · Post by **græy** » Wed Oct 23, 2019 8:35 pm

No, because she doesn't want to talk about anything in person, I don't think she'd appreciate much of what I've written here. She has seen one of my more innocuous posts when I accidentally left it up on the laptop, but I don't think she actually linked it to me as the one doing the writing. I waited for her to ask about it, but she never did.

Anon70 · Post by **Anon70** » Thu Oct 24, 2019 10:26 am

We have a “don’t ask don’t tell” policy in regards to my online anti-Mormon activities.

Mormorrisey · Post by **Mormorrisey** » Thu Oct 24, 2019 12:38 pm

Anon70 wrote: ↑Thu Oct 24, 2019 10:26 am We have a “don’t ask don’t tell” policy in regards to my online anti-Mormon activities.

Yep. That's about it!

Sis M knows I post here, doesn't like it, and is convinced ya'll are leading me carefully down to hell. If she actually takes the time to read what I post, I'm sure she'll know different.

Mackman · Post by **Mackman** » Thu Oct 24, 2019 1:52 pm

No, I have to keep my apostate lifestyle very very secret!!! I think she knows but doesnt really want to know , if that makes sense.

MalcolmVillager · Post by **MalcolmVillager** » Thu Oct 24, 2019 7:25 pm

For years, the answer was no. Now it is yes. She is now a NOM as well, just not on NOM. We are both active, calling having, non believing members stuck in the generational and community cult like community.

But aren't we all stuck in similar communities we dont love fully?!

SincereInquirer · Post by **SincereInquirer** » Sun Oct 27, 2019 11:26 pm

wtfluff wrote: ↑Tue Oct 22, 2019 4:15 pm Nope.

My spouse doesn't want to know anything about my "apostate lifestyle."

You know... Passive aggressive mormon-style: If they ignore it long enough, it will go away right? In actuality, that method will work... When I die, my apostate-ness will go away.

+1

Newme · Post by **Newme** » Sat Nov 16, 2019 7:31 am

Mormorrisey wrote: ↑Thu Oct 24, 2019 12:38 pm
Sis M knows I post here, doesn't like it, and is convinced ya'll are leading me carefully down to hell. If she actually takes the time to read what I post, I'm sure she'll know different.

Similar here.
I don’t post often here - and post more on other places. Yet, whenever we get into religious disagreements, DH assumes every point of disagreement is due to me reading on “anti-mormon” forums like this and gullibly going along with everything. I’ve tried to explain to him that I disagree on topics with many here too. He seems to project his own herd mentality but generally, my beliefs are not popular in most circles - religiously, politically, psychologically, spiritually. Though it could be partly where I live.

Hagoth · Post by **Hagoth** » Sat Nov 16, 2019 3:48 pm

She knows and has said she's glad I have a community. I talk about NOM often and occasionally share stories and information, but she has no interest in checking it out for herself.

Raylan Givens · Post by **Raylan Givens** » Mon Nov 18, 2019 11:09 pm

I was outed to my wife by having the old NOM open on a browser. Tough first discussion. It has been better since. She is more out than me now.

glass shelf · Post by **glass shelf** » Wed Nov 20, 2019 3:58 am

Probably. I've mentioned it to him more than once. My husband (although he left the church with me) really doesn't care about Mormonism and will rarely even comment on it. The other day he was talking about schedules with our high schooler, and he mentioned early morning seminary and how awful it was. That's probably the second thing he's said about Mormonism in the last 6 months. I find it equal parts fascinating and frustrating that our experiences are so different at times.

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