NOM

So I attended my wife's family members farewell this Sunday. The first talk was all about apostates and how Satan was deceiving them. The last talk was from a lady in the ward who spoke about satans tool. She probably mentioned his tool about 20 times. Best sm ever

20/20hind wrote:So I attended my wife's family members farewell this Sunday. The first talk was all about apostates and how Satan was deceiving them. The last talk was from a lady in the ward who spoke about satans tool. She probably mentioned his tool about 20 times. Best sm ever

Tell her you want "pictures of Satan's tool". For science...

What exactly is Stan's tool?

I'm getting tired of being stuck in the middle of an imaginary war. A battle between good and evil where good has so many infinite loops of repeating, looping, doctrines, that instill repeated fear of looping doctrines repeated too many times that the religion is repetitively boring. I'm starting to prefer the evil even though it looks like the Kardashians which is saying a whole lot about my state of affairs.

I have family in town which one me a trip to SS and EQP. There was a lady in SS that kept referring to her family members who have been influenced out of the church by bad influences. She mentioned some vague code words for apostasy due to church history.

The narrative has changed. The last days of the very elect being deceived is officially here. Stan is to blame.

Welcome home Stan!

Did she mention if Satan uses a power tool or hand tool?

Korihor wrote:Did she mention if Satan uses a power tool or hand tool?

I'm not sure. I'm just hoping he won't ever touch me with it..

Korihor wrote:Did she mention if Satan uses a power tool or hand tool?

Bishops are widely known to preach against certain combinations of "hand" and "tool". They would freak out of electrical power were known to be involved in these transactions.

20/20hind wrote:So I attended my wife's family members farewell this Sunday. The first talk was all about apostates and how Satan was deceiving them. The last talk was from a lady in the ward who spoke about satans tool. She probably mentioned his tool about 20 times. Best sm ever

You're lucky. All we got was Joseph Smithmas talks, and not one mention of his tool, however appropriate it would have been.

Red Ryder wrote:What exactly is Stan's tool?

I'm getting tired of being stuck in the middle of an imaginary war. A battle between good and evil where good has so many infinite loops of repeating, looping, doctrines, that instill repeated fear of looping doctrines repeated too many times that the religion is repetitively boring. I'm starting to prefer the evil even though it looks like the Kardashians which is saying a whole lot about my state of affairs.

I have family in town which one me a trip to SS and EQP. There was a lady in SS that kept referring to her family members who have been influenced out of the church by bad influences. She mentioned some vague code words for apostasy due to church history.

The narrative has changed. The last days of the very elect being deceived is officially here. Stan is to blame.

Welcome home Stan!

I always got kind of creeped out thinking of an invisible being following me around with his tool.. like a big screw driver kind of tool, tempting me to look at women who didn't have sleaves on their shirt:)

20/20hind wrote:I always got kind of creeped out thinking of an invisible being following me around with his tool.. like a big screw driver kind of tool, tempting me to look at women who didn't have sleaves on their shirt:)

This cultural folk doctrine explains the motivation of Satan. Since he lacks a body he also lacks Boyd's "little factory" so he's actually jealous of your mortal endowment. Due to his disembodied state he can watch all the porn he wants but then can't do anything about it.

dareka wrote:All we got was Joseph Smithmas talks, and not one mention of his tool, however appropriate it would have been.

Wish the two speakers at my Sacrament meeting could have joined together and sung "Pay Tithing, Get Blessings" instead of droning on about it.

Bobby McFerrin singing "Pay Tithing, Get Blessings" - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d-diB65scQU

I think I lost my faith and testimony of Satan when I saw the hand of the puppet master up his @$$. I realize it was like spiritual abuse by the church to scare me into obedience.

Maybe, during boring SM meetings (meaning, all of them), you could mentally break into Deck the Halls With Boughs of Holly, with particular emphasis on the "Fa-la-la-la-la...la-la-la-la" refrain.

I lean agnostic/atheist, the idea of a god and satan dont really resonate with me at all. I dont ever make any flippant comments about god around my family.

However, they hate Satan and i sure can make fun of him and all his creeper minion buddies who possess people and find their way into pigs and then run off cliffs. Satan is such a tool.

Silver Girl wrote:Maybe, during boring SM meetings (meaning, all of them), you could mentally break into Deck the Halls With Boughs of Holly, with particular emphasis on the "Fa-la-la-la-la...la-la-la-la" refrain.

Or for even more entertainment break into the version from A Christmas Story - "Fa ra ra ra ra ra ra ra ra!"

dareka wrote:

Silver Girl wrote:Maybe, during boring SM meetings (meaning, all of them), you could mentally break into Deck the Halls With Boughs of Holly, with particular emphasis on the "Fa-la-la-la-la...la-la-la-la" refrain.

Or for even more entertainment break into the version from A Christmas Story - "Fa ra ra ra ra ra ra ra ra!"

Haha, even better