NOM

A couple of threads on here reminded me of this Mormon Stories episode (in 3 parts): http://www.mormonstories.org/one-ordina ... ransition/ wherein an uber active, small-town Utah family experiences pretty much every variation of the transition experience possible: mixed-faith marriage, gay child, inactive parents having to wait outside the temple while RM son was married, terrible experience telling one child of faith transition while very successfully telling RM son . . . I thought it was one of the best episodes ever.

I badly messed up the way that I shared my transitioning faith with my family, and my biggest regret is that I plunged in before learning the counsel to GO SLOW. Not "don't tell", but take your time and reassure that this is about faith in the church not love of spouse, etc. etc.

If you haven't had a chance to listen to this episode, or especially if you're still in the closet, I highly recommend this one.

I agree, it's great podcast.

One of my favorite parts was on Part 2 minute 13-14 when he talks about validating a spouse's concerns and what it takes to have someone change their worldview. "A moment of unease" is how he frames it - it takes a moment of unease when a person is willing to confront their worldview (truths they hold dear/belief system) and look at things from another point of view. (I liked it so much I stopped everything and wrote it down on the back of a Costco receipt.) That was certainly my experience. I had a shelf from the time I was 11 or so, but until other factors happened, I wasn't willing to change my views. Had someone tried, I would have doubled down and become more entrenched in my own belief system.

I think it's a part of the "going slow." I have to remind myself that it took two decades for me to get to this place and to expect my husband to jump on board because I say so is really uncharitable. Some people do change their minds very suddenly, but I do think it takes some kind of "moment of unease" for that first glimpse into the church not being what it claims to happen.

I just started listening. Thanks for the recommendation!

ETA: I really enjoyed it. These people encountered just about every kind of family-church situation any of us are likely to encounter and came out on top.

Agreed, that is a great one!