NOM

I am a believer in biblical christianity but attend my Mormon branch with my TBM wife. I am a liar to others but my beliefs connect strongly with Biblical Christianity so even though I am a member of the LDS church I am only a member in name. Am I a terrible person ? Am I confused or do others share this type of middleway ?? I know what I believe in my mind and Nothing can change that , I am the way I am !!!!! I attend for my wife and only believe a few things taught . Thoughts.

You're definitely not alone and there are probably others in your ward in the same exact boat.

It's amazing to hear so many people make those comments and then at some point kind of slip to another person in the ward and they do that double take, realizing they're both only there because they have to for the family... it reminds me of this:



But there's nothing wrong with it... you're doing what you need to do and holding true to your beliefs. I wouldn't be worried about that at all as long as it is something you are OK with.

If there were one true path to Christianity I think God would be more clear which path that is. Mormonism May be a little fringy but still adhere to a belief in Christ. What more do you want?


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I did that for a lot of years. I didn’t believe anything exclusive to Mormonism, but didn’t think my husband would react well if he knew I thought Joseph Smith was a jerk instead of a prophet. I got so frustrated with the 95% focus on the things exclusive to Mormonism and the 5% that was actually devoted to Christianity. On religion tests I tested “mainline Protestant” even when I tried to answer like a Mormon would. I never figured out the question that put me into Protestant rather than Mormon, but somehow I had changed Mormon thinking in my own mind to fit what I really believed instead of actually hearing what was taught. But since realizing that I was hearing at Mormon church what I wanted to hear rather than what was really taught, I started noticing other people who did the same thing. Don’t really believe women should be nothing but stay at home mothers...well, then they heard how women should get an education, not just go to BYU for an MRS degree. Anyway, you are not alone.

But don’t be surprised if at some point you just can’t do it any more. Mormonism has a lot of shaming and almost no grace, and that can wear on you until you come home from church ready to punch walls and scream.

I was raised by a mother who highly valued honesty. She had a highly accurate B.S. meter. She always told me that if I didn't tell the truth things would be much worse than if I had. Especially if she found out about it which was very likely.

When I was 15 years of age, three of my friends and I decided we were going to have a little party involving alcohol. This was in a small Idaho town in the morcor. We were all Mormons.

Cut to the chase, I came home late and inebriated and was caught red-handed. The next morning my mother asked me where we got the beer. I told her the truth. She called two of the mothers of my friends and spilled the beans on them. To say the least, those three friends were extremely upset with me. And they made sure everyone else knew what they thought of me.

For the next full year I was utterly ostricized in my Mormon highschool for telling the truth to my mother. It was one of the most difficult lessons I ever learned.

I learned what it meant to not only be alone but to stand alone.

I learned what true friendship really looks like. People who really and truly care for you have a great appreciation for knowing that they never have to worry about your dependability and integrity. They know you can be trusted.

The church doesn't truly and fully appreciate honesty. Loyalty ranks much higher than honesty. In reality you can believe almost anything you want in the church as long as you keep your mouth shut and pay your tithing. They really don't care. But who wants to live like that?

When I realized the church had an integrity crisis, I couldn't continue to hold any calling in the church that required teaching what I didn't believe. I told my wife what was happening at the time and it did create some stress in our family. After about a year when she realized I wasn't going to go out chasing other women or begin drinking she began to realize there was much more to this than what her initial fears had been. She knew I was still the person of integrity she had married all those years ago. Things just got better and better.

I would never say a person who hides the truth where the church is concerned is an awful person. Just a SCARED person. Someone who lives in fear carries such a heavy weight. It's terribly sad.

As the Savior stated, "Ye shall know the truth and the truth shall set you free."

Maybe in some cases it might be better to tell your wife how you feel over a longer period of time and in subtle ways that some things don't add up for you regarding the church.

However you approach it, I wish you the best. It's a hard, hard thing.

When I think about how much the Church used to control my mind and emotions and heart, it's almost unbelievable to me. I say--believe what you want. Don't ever let anyone tell you that you're only good if you believe the right things. You don't have to blab about it, but I say--feel no guilt about what you think and believe. It's up to you. "They" don't have any right to own your heart and mind.

Easier said than done, I know.