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Damnation to my Soul

Posted: Sun Mar 31, 2019 10:33 am
by hmb
Sitting in church, this morning, I took the sacrament for the first time since 2011 :twisted: . I took the smallest piece I could. Maybe it will be less damning. I’ll probably stop for a G&T on the way home. That should cleans the evil. Haha. I thought I would feel guilty, but this whole church game is so meh.

9 more pretend Sundays to go.

Re: Damnation to my Soul

Posted: Sun Mar 31, 2019 2:56 pm
by Hagoth
hmb wrote: Sun Mar 31, 2019 10:33 am Sitting in church, this morning, I took the sacrament for the first time since 2011 :twisted: . I took the smallest piece I could. Maybe it will be less damning. I’ll probably stop for a G&T on the way home. That should cleans the evil. Haha. I thought I would feel guilty, but this whole church game is so meh.
Isn't it comforting to know that you have a loving Father in heaven who would place eternal consequences on the eating of a crumb of bread?

Did you at least take it with your left hand to reverse the consequences?
hmb wrote: Sun Mar 31, 2019 10:33 am 9 more pretend Sundays to go.
Wait, what did I miss?

Re: Damnation to my Soul

Posted: Sun Mar 31, 2019 7:49 pm
by hmb
Hagoth wrote: Sun Mar 31, 2019 2:56 pm
hmb wrote: Sun Mar 31, 2019 10:33 am Sitting in church, this morning, I took the sacrament for the first time since 2011 :twisted: . I took the smallest piece I could. Maybe it will be less damning. I’ll probably stop for a G&T on the way home. That should cleans the evil. Haha. I thought I would feel guilty, but this whole church game is so meh.
Isn't it comforting to know that you have a loving Father in heaven who would place eternal consequences on the eating of a crumb of bread?

Did you at least take it with your left hand to reverse the consequences?
hmb wrote: Sun Mar 31, 2019 10:33 am 9 more pretend Sundays to go.
Wait, what did I miss?
When I retire, nine weeks from now, I move across the country!! I will be able to not attend church. Isn't that tragic? I know the missionaries have already visited my house out there, and I have ministers (or whatever they are called), but it's cool. I don't have to be involved. Maybe they'd enjoy some weeding.

Re: Damnation to my Soul

Posted: Mon Apr 01, 2019 8:45 am
by Hagoth
hmb wrote: Sun Mar 31, 2019 7:49 pm When I retire, nine weeks from now, I move across the country!! I will be able to not attend church. Isn't that tragic?
Image

Re: Damnation to my Soul

Posted: Mon Apr 01, 2019 1:32 pm
by Red Ryder
Wait so your saying your old and wise enough to retire but you can't exit a church?

What kind of twilight zone so we live in here?

Please tell me you can pick your own underwear?

No?

WTF kind is religion is this?

Re: Damnation to my Soul

Posted: Mon Apr 01, 2019 2:34 pm
by hmb
Red Ryder wrote: Mon Apr 01, 2019 1:32 pm Wait so your saying your old and wise enough to retire but you can't exit a church?

What kind of twilight zone so we live in here?

Please tell me you can pick your own underwear?

No?

WTF kind is religion is this?
Jebus may weep. I'll be weeping for joy.

I do choose my own undies. They aren't pretty, but even the ugliest, old lady, granny type panties are far hotter than the cleanest, most modest of the G's. I even have all manner of colors. COLORS!!!!! That's insane. I don't have to wear them 24/7. I can drop them on the floor. And the only marks I would ever cut from my colorful undies would embarrassing marks that may or may not happen from aging bodily functions :x :oops: ;) .

Re: Damnation to my Soul

Posted: Mon Apr 01, 2019 4:29 pm
by RubinHighlander
Nice work and good luck on your retirement!

The last time I took the sacrament, stood in a confirmation circle, gave a blessing, all as a non-believer, it was all just mealiness traditional tribal ceremonial BS and I never felt any guilt over it. But soon, I hope, I'll have the official letter from TSCC that I'm off their books and I'll publicly refuse the participate any further. I will occasionally attend TBM family events as a NoMo.

Re: Damnation to my Soul

Posted: Mon Apr 01, 2019 8:05 pm
by Raylan Givens
hmb wrote: Sun Mar 31, 2019 7:49 pm
Hagoth wrote: Sun Mar 31, 2019 2:56 pm
hmb wrote: Sun Mar 31, 2019 10:33 am Sitting in church, this morning, I took the sacrament for the first time since 2011 :twisted: . I took the smallest piece I could. Maybe it will be less damning. I’ll probably stop for a G&T on the way home. That should cleans the evil. Haha. I thought I would feel guilty, but this whole church game is so meh.
Isn't it comforting to know that you have a loving Father in heaven who would place eternal consequences on the eating of a crumb of bread?

Did you at least take it with your left hand to reverse the consequences?
hmb wrote: Sun Mar 31, 2019 10:33 am 9 more pretend Sundays to go.
Wait, what did I miss?
When I retire, nine weeks from now, I move across the country!! I will be able to not attend church. Isn't that tragic? I know the missionaries have already visited my house out there, and I have ministers (or whatever they are called), but it's cool. I don't have to be involved. Maybe they'd enjoy some weeding.
I just imaging people with florescent Mormon Helping Hands shirts weeding your garden. Oh man, did I waste/spend a lot time on my mission doing things like that. Better than knocking doors.