Hello again
Posted: Sat Mar 09, 2019 9:56 am
Hey everybody. I'm yet another old forum-goer that's back for more; my fingers still start with "forum." when I want to visit NOM. I was an infrequent browser/poster on the old forum, and thought that I'd give it another go.
I think that it was really Jana Reiss book "The Next Mormons" (or rather, her interviews. I haven't actually read the book yet) that has spurred me to return. I've been feeling a lot of angst about my membership in the church lately, and I'm thinking of scaling it back.
My faith crisis journey started as a teenager many years ago, but I eventually got to the point where I felt OK about going along with all of the peer pressure and going on a mission (it was overall a pretty miserable experience with a few good points). I'm way past any anger, but I'm also to a point where I'm not going to study and pray my way back to belief. Any study just seems to magnify the differences between what I believe and what the church teaches. I'm OK with shaping my own beliefs and trying to maintain boundaries, I'm just concerned about whether or not I will be able to stick around or be welcome if I'm not all-in.
The hardest part, for me, is all of the life events that require you to be at least mostly in to participate. Baptism, ordination, temple sealings... if my family wanted to leave I'd be OK skipping them all, but I don't think that I'm OK sitting on the side while somebody else does all of that with my family.
My biggest hope is that Bill Reel's sources are right and the church is planning on dropping garments and the the no coffee rule soon. Those are probably the worst two things about being all-in right now, and if they were dropped then there wouldn't be a lot of difference between half-in and all-in aside from my internal dialogue.
I think that it was really Jana Reiss book "The Next Mormons" (or rather, her interviews. I haven't actually read the book yet) that has spurred me to return. I've been feeling a lot of angst about my membership in the church lately, and I'm thinking of scaling it back.
My faith crisis journey started as a teenager many years ago, but I eventually got to the point where I felt OK about going along with all of the peer pressure and going on a mission (it was overall a pretty miserable experience with a few good points). I'm way past any anger, but I'm also to a point where I'm not going to study and pray my way back to belief. Any study just seems to magnify the differences between what I believe and what the church teaches. I'm OK with shaping my own beliefs and trying to maintain boundaries, I'm just concerned about whether or not I will be able to stick around or be welcome if I'm not all-in.
The hardest part, for me, is all of the life events that require you to be at least mostly in to participate. Baptism, ordination, temple sealings... if my family wanted to leave I'd be OK skipping them all, but I don't think that I'm OK sitting on the side while somebody else does all of that with my family.
My biggest hope is that Bill Reel's sources are right and the church is planning on dropping garments and the the no coffee rule soon. Those are probably the worst two things about being all-in right now, and if they were dropped then there wouldn't be a lot of difference between half-in and all-in aside from my internal dialogue.
