Living the Middleway again.

[Mackman]

Well im back as a member (not really my choice) but I have accepted it and have vowed to live the middleway. Since Dec. I have gotten a great job have saved my marriage and generally speaking things are really looking up. The cost of course is being rebaptized but if it saves the 40 year marriage and keeps the peace its ok. I see myself as a Christian first a Mormon 2nd if feel all churches are flawed but I can practice my own personal faith in the lds church, after all no one can enter my mind at least not yet and see what I really think. I view Js as a fraud and con man and believe the Bom to be an inspired scripture despite JS and his cheating and lying . I love this site as it keeps me somewhat sane reading all the great topics. Thank you thank you thank you.

[moksha]

Mackman, best of luck to you. "Enish-go-on-Dosh", as they say on the Celtic planet Oliblish.

[Anon70]

Congratulations on the job and on saving the marriage. If it’s any consolation I’m doing exactly that - pretending to be a believer while camping here and on reddit and thinking all kinds of un-TBM thoughts. Tough but doable. Good luck.

[deacon blues]

I think your priorities are sound. I told my wife if my disaffection threatened our marriage I would adapt or discontinue it. Thankfully we have worked out accommodations for each other. Relationships are more important than institutions. If only the Church leaders could recognize this. You can be a Christian, without regard to the Church.

[Corsair]

I'm with you. I love my wife more than I am annoyed with the LDS church. Virtually no one asks about my real beliefs at church, so why bother them about it. Good luck going forward, Mackman.

[Red Ryder]

What's the requirements for rebaptism?

How high does the approval process go?

SP and Area Authority? Or FP?

One reason I'll probably never resign is because if for some reason I go back then I have to jump through approval hoops.

On the marriage note, would you say that the act of compliance by baptism is what saved your marriage or are you suggesting you've worked through all the issues and rebaptism is your compromise? What is her compromise?

[Hagoth]

Congratulations on finding a place that works for you in keeping your life and marriage together, Mackman. Best of luck in maintaining a good balance in the future.

[oliblish]

Mackman, best of luck to you. "Enish-go-on-Dosh", as they say on the Celtic planet Oliblish.

You speak truth.

[Wonderment]

On the marriage note, would you say that the act of compliance by baptism is what saved your marriage or are you suggesting you've worked through all the issues and rebaptism is your compromise? What is her compromise?

Good question! I'd like to know this also. -- Wndr.

[Mackman]

Well for those of you that were curious of the process it was as follows : Told the BP I wanted to come back , I had to wait a year then I had to write a letter to the 1st Pres. Explaining why I wished to return. A few months passed then had to interview with the stake Pres. Regular baptismal questions. Then had to interview with the BP again regular baptismal questions. Baptism occured , I am a member but no priesthood or temple ordinances . I have to wait a year from my baptism and have a general authority restore all priesthood and temple ordinances. Thats it , sounds like a lot but wasnt really to bad. All in all glad to be back and have things calm at home worshipping the way I want, even if it is in the lds church. God Bless all.

[Mackman]

Yes , on the marriage it was our comprimise that I rejoin and go to the temple once in a while. As Corsair has stated many times I love my wife more than the LDS church annoyes me !!!!!! See ya fellow Nomies !!

[azflyer]

Well for those of you that were curious of the process it was as follows : Told the BP I wanted to come back , I had to wait a year then I had to write a letter to the 1st Pres. Explaining why I wished to return. A few months passed then had to interview with the stake Pres. Regular baptismal questions. Then had to interview with the BP again regular baptismal questions. Baptism occured , I am a member but no priesthood or temple ordinances . I have to wait a year from my baptism and have a general authority restore all priesthood and temple ordinances. Thats it , sounds like a lot but wasnt really to bad. All in all glad to be back and have things calm at home worshipping the way I want, even if it is in the lds church. God Bless all.

When you met with the BP and SP, did you explain you wanted to be baptized to help your relationship with your wife, or did you just answer yes/no as appropriate? You'll get no judgement from me whatever you did, I'm really just curious how a BP or SP would respond to someone that wants to get baptized but openly admits they don't fully believe all the truth claims.

Also, sorry I don't know your whole history, but had you previously resigned?

Congratulations on finding a path that works for you!

[Anon70]

Well for those of you that were curious of the process it was as follows : Told the BP I wanted to come back , I had to wait a year then I had to write a letter to the 1st Pres. Explaining why I wished to return. A few months passed then had to interview with the stake Pres. Regular baptismal questions. Then had to interview with the BP again regular baptismal questions. Baptism occured , I am a member but no priesthood or temple ordinances . I have to wait a year from my baptism and have a general authority restore all priesthood and temple ordinances. Thats it , sounds like a lot but wasnt really to bad. All in all glad to be back and have things calm at home worshipping the way I want, even if it is in the lds church. God Bless all.

You’re a good man/husband.
Curious (and if too personal, I apologize) are there any concessions the wife is making for you?

[MalcolmVillager]

I'm with you. I love my wife more than I am annoyed with the LDS church. Virtually no one asks about my real beliefs at church, so why bother them about it. Good luck going forward, Mackman.

Well said Corsair. That is a more concise way of saying what I have said many times.

My relationships are my most important asset. I have sacrificed many things for them through the years. I need good reminders of that from time to time.

[Mackman]

The comprimise was I become member again and she leaves me alone about my beliefs !!!!!!! It works for us !!!

[Mackman]

Someone asked how I answered the baptismal interview questions, well I viewed them with nuanced glasses and just did the yes/no thing . Probably was on the fringe there but my peace/marriage was worth it !!! I believe the Stake Pres. Knew what the deal was as I have known him for many years. Peace to all.

[Mackman]

One thing I have noticed about myself on this journey is that since I have become more open to nuanced beliefs my political stance has moved to the left ,something I never thought I would say while the DW is entrenched with her TBM beliefs she remains with her sister dug into the Trump camp . Dug in as Trump can do no wrong right up there with RMN . Scarey in my not so humble opinion. Any thoughts ?????

[Reuben]

One thing I have noticed about myself on this journey is that since I have become more open to nuanced beliefs my political stance has moved to the left ,something I never thought I would say while the DW is entrenched with her TBM beliefs she remains with her sister dug into the Trump camp . Dug in as Trump can do no wrong right up there with RMN . Scarey in my not so humble opinion. Any thoughts ?????

Same here. It's fairly common, actually.

For me, I think one reason is that I no longer trusted God to make everything right in the end. Another seems to have been that I valued helping the groups I belong to less and valued helping individuals more. (That change actually started years before, when I liberalized my personal theology by finding grace.) Another is probably that when I found myself oppressed by a system, I finally understood being oppressed by a system and started looking for others in similar circumstances.

Probably the best evidence that this was a deep change came from yourmorals.org. (FWIW, that's a real research site, not a "Which Hogwarts house do you belong to?" site.) I had taken the moral values test in 2011. I took the test again after my faith crisis in 2016 and found that my moral values had changed to greatly deemphasize obedience, loyalty and purity. My profile now matches being politically liberal instead of conservative, but moral values are usually very stable.

[hmb]

The comprimise was I become member again and she leaves me alone about my beliefs !!!!!!! It works for us !!!

This is a good compromise. Is your part going to still be an okay compromise once your PH "blessings" are restored? I shudder to think of getting a calling and other responsibilities. Is that part going to be okay for you? Your middleway may become 3/4 way. While living with my dad, I had my records sent to my home in another state. I didn't want to deal with membership in his ward. My husband now gets visited. Hahahaha. He's a nevermo, so it's not a big deal for him, but he does get contacted by the WhatDoWeCallThemNow? Not "mormons" any longer.

[Mackman]

Yes, It will be ok, I feel that I am an adult I can choose if I want to participate and to what level. I do have a choice !!!! 1/2 way is good enough for me and really is more involved than I want . We are all the captain of our own ship, many years ago I would have never said that, I gave it all to the point of total burnout !!!! Now I decide what I will do or dont do. The middleway is what my goal is and will always be. Moderation in all things . I now work on saving the individuals not organizations , I am a Christian first a Mormon 2nd !!! I think many others have taken this approach as well. God Bless all.