NOM

DW will talk about current events and politics on Facebook. Something I usually avoid.

Yesterday, she got a private message from a Mormon girl she went to church with as a kid, but has not interacted with her for many years. This person wanted to "educate" DW on some facts that she felt that she was missing with regard to the topic. This turned into a Facebook Message argument as DW preceded to pick apart the person's attempt at correcting her.

This person is someone who went to church with DW as kids, but outside of being connected on Facebook has not interacted for well over a decade. Even on Facebook this person has not interacted since becoming Facebook friends. But this person felt they needed to pop up out of nowhere to try to defend their position. This has happened a number of time over the last few years. Old Mormon classmates pop up out of obscurity and go off on some topic. In once case it was someone trying to defend the church on one of the abuse cases, but normally it is politics related. It always is Mormons here. Growing up in West Virginia, DW knows more nonmembers than members between school and life, but she does not get any popups for political argument from her nonmember friends.

So what is it about Mormonism that makes women want to butt in with unwanted (and usually incorrect) politics fights?

I once had the wife of someone that served in the same mission as I come out of nowhere on Facebook to chastise me for being a covenant breaker in response to something I posted that was not directed to her or her husband. I responded that I understood she felt it was important what she was doing but it was (phrased more politely) crazy counterproductive behavior. I could almost smell the frustration on her end as I wouldn't engage with her on a religious front (either by attacking her beliefs and making her a martyr or being swayed and giving her a good conference style story of rescuing an apostate), but recognized her good intentions while rejecting her approach.

As far as what motivates it, it's just the rabid evangelicalism of Mormonism rearing it's head. You take the belief that a mythical being will convince others of your correctness but he's just waiting for you to be brave and open your mouth so he can fill it with mind and heart changing words and you get a recipe for all sorts of bizarre and/or inappropriate conversations. Facebook creates a mechanism for some truly tenuous connections so you get people who hardly know you or who haven't spoken to in forever contacting you and getting all evangelical.

Just This Guy wrote: ↑Tue Jan 22, 2019 8:11 am So what is it about Mormonism that makes women want to butt in with unwanted (and usually incorrect) politics fights?

I see this happen on occasion and think "rookie mistake". But it's not really a rookie mistake. It's a social media mistake .



Humans are weirdly drawn in by this phenomena and I don't know how to "fix" it. My solution has been to never post on anything on social media and simply avoid those arguments, particularly with people I know. If you manage to add me as a friend on Facebook, you will notice that my history is virtually empty. I posted about attending Black Hat and DefCon a few years ago and that's it. That post was far too complicated for many of my non-technical relatives. It's not that I like to avoid confrontation, I simply know that this is a fool's errand and it is notoriously ineffective to correct someone who is wrong on the internet.

I've been heavily into politics on Twitter for the last ~7 years.... it's just insane how easy it is to get sucked into arguments and even more crazy the lengths people will go to in order to prove you wrong.

So take that and combine it with LDS... which is an area that people are told it's their duty to defend/spread the gospel on, and it's easy to see why they are so quick to try and correct people when they see a perceived "anti-Mormon" bias.

When I post on Twitter with political stuff you get a ton of replies that can be really nasty, but whenever I've posted anything remotely religious (not just LDS) the replies are very emotional and quick. I think with LDS it's more so because of the perceived persecution complex to this day, although that's just my opinion.

Just This Guy wrote: ↑Tue Jan 22, 2019 8:11 am
So what is it about Mormonism that makes women want to butt in with unwanted (and usually incorrect) politics fights?

Probably trying to fill a hole in their soul. They grew up believing that the only thing that would make them truly happy is to marry an RM in the temple and be a SAHM with lots of kids. They did that, but still feel empty inside. So all their Mormon training tells them it is their fault for not doing enough. So they are going to go "stand for truth and righteousness" on FB. In a way it's kind of sad. Annoying yes. But also sad.

It's that passive/aggressive behavior that mormonism has perfected, along with the inherent belief that they are 100% correct in all things.

Spicy McHaggis wrote: ↑Tue Jan 22, 2019 4:23 pm It's that passive/aggressive behavior that mormonism has perfected, along with the inherent belief that they are 100% correct in all things.

Something like this popped up on DW's feed when she used a clever joke to announce she is a Norman (no longer Mormon). They tried to let her know that the Church is stepping away from the usage of Mormon.

She completely missed the joke my wife had posted. DW's reply was: really...

Humans are weirdly drawn in by this phenomena and I don't know how to "fix" it. My solution has been to never post on anything on social media and simply avoid those arguments, particularly with people I know. If you manage to add me as a friend on Facebook, you will notice that my history is virtually empty. I posted about attending Black Hat and DefCon a few years ago and that's it. That post was far too complicated for many of my non-technical relatives. It's not that I like to avoid confrontation, I simply know that this is a fool's errand and it is notoriously ineffective to correct someone who is wrong on the internet.
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This is how I feel also. I don’t love confrontation, but I don’t avoid it either. I have a hard time understanding why people choose to argue on social media when neither one will change the others perspective. ‍♀️

There's a suite of psychological processes that transfer beliefs and behaviors from one person to another. This is humanity's superpower. Disconfort over lack of consensus is part of it.

If Mormons do this more than most people, I would guess it's a combination of those normal psychological processes, every-member-a-missionary training, and really wanting validation to stabilize their artificially high regard for the church.

Some may actually want to share actual happiness they've actually found in the church, but I think talking about that on this board is kind of taboo nowadays.

MoPag wrote: ↑Tue Jan 22, 2019 2:48 pm

Just This Guy wrote: ↑Tue Jan 22, 2019 8:11 am
So what is it about Mormonism that makes women want to butt in with unwanted (and usually incorrect) politics fights?

Probably trying to fill a hole in their soul. They grew up believing that the only thing that would make them truly happy is to marry an RM in the temple and be a SAHM with lots of kids. They did that, but still feel empty inside. So all their Mormon training tells them it is their fault for not doing enough. So they are going to go "stand for truth and righteousness" on FB. In a way it's kind of sad. Annoying yes. But also sad.

I'm 100% sure this is not limited to either Mormons or women. Source: years of participation on the internet.

This is according to DW:

She will have a number of random people message her to "educate" with various parenting things. They tend to be either stupidly obvious stuff (where the chest clip of s a car seat harness is supposed to go) or BS like anti-vaccine stuff. They tends to be from all over, mostly non-Mormon because the parenting discussion forums she participates in area large, US and international groups, that by pure statistics have small Mormon participation.

However, when it comes to people messaging to "educate" her on politics, it is purely Mormons. It's odd that DW isn't afraid to talk politics on her Facebook page. She has discussion with many members and nonmembers. They tend to be civil. It's just off that she never gets any PMs from nonmembers.

Myself, I have pretty strict rules for my Facebook page. No religion or politics. Offenders get un-followed or de-friended. I do make exceptions for NOM people and topics. Heck, I don't do much with Facebook in general. I may comment on other people a few times a week, but I will only post things myself a few times a year. I also have my page locked down pretty tight on who can find me.

Reuben wrote: ↑Wed Jan 23, 2019 6:19 pm There's a suite of psychological processes that transfer beliefs and behaviors from one person to another. This is humanity's superpower. Disconfort over lack of consensus is part of it.

If Mormons do this more than most people, I would guess it's a combination of those normal psychological processes, every-member-a-missionary training, and really wanting validation to stabilize their artificially high regard for the church.

Some may actually want to share actual happiness they've actually found in the church, but I think talking about that on this board is kind of taboo nowadays.

Interesting thoughts on the psychology. And I love calling the social skills that allow super-communities "humanity's superpower", great description.

I think I wanted to want to share actual happiness I found in the church, the happiness the church told me I had found there. Any real desire to share the actual church-related happiness I had was killed by the expectation/requirement to share what the church told me to. I was mostly trying to do what I was told was right, rather than develop a sense of what I personally felt was right.

Not to say that some may find actual happiness and actually want to share it. But I think more are like me, and feel obligated to share it, and try to modify themselves to try to want to.