Page 1 of 1

Annual Membership Drive (my church)

Posted: Tue Nov 13, 2018 9:21 am
by Hagoth
It's almost Thanksgiving time again, and that means it's time for the first annual membership drive of the The Great Big Universal Church of Cosmic Everythingness (and then some)

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1EFc ... sp=sharing

How To Join:
1) Read the doctrines and tenets (in the link above).
2) Delete or add doctrines as required for your personal journey.
3) Raise your arm to any angle (obtuse is preferred but acute is ok if you can't manage it).
4) Speak aloud or mumble: “Giddyup!”
5) That’s it, you’re in.

Membership Requirements (does not require exclusivity from other belief systems):
1) Attend no meetings.
2) Pay no tithes.
3) Look up at the night sky as often as possible.
4) Do your damndest to be happy.

Edited to swap acute<>obtuse

Re: Annual Membership Drive (my church)

Posted: Tue Nov 13, 2018 9:49 am
by Red Ryder
Raising arm to acute angle...

Giddyup!

Is it ok if we call ourselves Humans or do you prefer members of the The Great Big Universal Church of Cosmic Everythingness (and then some)?

Re: Annual Membership Drive (my church)

Posted: Tue Nov 13, 2018 11:07 am
by Hagoth
Red Ryder wrote: Tue Nov 13, 2018 9:49 am Raising arm to acute angle...

Giddyup!

Is it ok if we call ourselves Humans or do you prefer members of the The Great Big Universal Church of Cosmic Everythingness (and then some)?
Humans is great. Organisms works too.

Re: Annual Membership Drive (my church)

Posted: Tue Nov 13, 2018 3:25 pm
by FiveFingerMnemonic
I'm in! Giddyup!

Edited to ask: Can I use this membership to qualify for apostasy under the "officially join another church" requirement in the handbook?

Re: Annual Membership Drive (my church)

Posted: Tue Nov 13, 2018 3:51 pm
by RubinHighlander
Before I raise my hand and utter the words, I'll be preparing my own sacraments of jazz cabbage and fermented fruit beverages. With those I'll make a pilgrimage to my backyard rameumptom where I shall watch the sunset and partake.

Re: Annual Membership Drive (my church)

Posted: Tue Nov 13, 2018 4:17 pm
by Hagoth
FiveFingerMnemonic wrote: Tue Nov 13, 2018 3:25 pm I'm in! Giddyup!

Edited to ask: Can I use this membership to qualify for apostasy under the "officially join another church" requirement in the handbook?
I think I would have to do some sort of unpleasant paperwork for that to be the case. I'll look into it if you're looking for a dramatic exit. It would be kinda awesome to get excommunicated for something that ludicrous? I like the idea of being declared an intolerable apostate for simply uttering a single word, especially if that word is "giddyup."

Re: Annual Membership Drive (my church)

Posted: Tue Nov 13, 2018 5:07 pm
by wtfluff
DILLY DILLY! (Oops. Sorry, wrong pledge for the wrong organization... :o )

Geddy-Yup!!!

Re: Annual Membership Drive (my church)

Posted: Tue Nov 13, 2018 6:25 pm
by deacon blues
giddyup!........ :o .......Gosh, I feel warm inside. I want to share this with my family!

Re: Annual Membership Drive (my church)

Posted: Tue Nov 13, 2018 7:34 pm
by crossmyheart
Before I join... can I still remain an inactive member of the church of the flying spaghetti monster also?

On a more serious note- I enjoyed reading your epistle. It is beautiful. You need to turn it into one of those books like "All the things I learned in kindergarten" series.

Giddyup!

Re: Annual Membership Drive (my church)

Posted: Wed Nov 14, 2018 1:14 am
by Reuben
I deleted all the requirements for myself, so now I'm a member by default.

Good church.

Re: Annual Membership Drive (my church)

Posted: Wed Nov 14, 2018 7:36 am
by 2bizE
I have been making a headboard in my garage/wood shop and had a square handy. I raised my hand to the square, measured it for exactness, and then tilted it outward 23 degrees to form a 113 degree angle. Then made a blood oath with my cut finger. I’m all in. Giddyup.

Re: Annual Membership Drive (my church)

Posted: Wed Nov 14, 2018 11:12 am
by græy
What have I done!?!?

I have a temple recommend interview coming up in a few months, and now I've gone and joined a new church!

I...

I think...

I think I feel...

I feel... free.

I think I'll go outside, enjoy the open sky, and do my damndest to be happy.