NOM

Some background, I am mentally out and my wife is TBM. I haven't paid tithing this year, my wife pays on her income. The bishop announced tithing settlement sign up sheets on his door in SM 3 weeks ago, but we didn't sign up. We have missed church the past 2 weeks for sickness and a vacation, so we didn't have a chance to sign up. I asked my wife last night if she wanted to go to tithing settlement and she immediately responded, "No, do you?"

So, no settlement this year. Tithing is between us and god. Sweet.

Indeed, that is sweet. I haven't paid directly in years having been ex'd and thrown under the bus. My SAHM TBM DW pays. So basically tithing gets paid on 50% of my income.

Yep it sucks. But she has to keep up appearances and also puts in a day at the temple each week. It makes her feel all warm and fuzzy.
So yeah, I still get shaken down at the 50% rate.

CONGRATS!!

The Korihor Family is not attending Tithing Settlement this year either. Ironically, by intentionally not caring about it, I have thought about it more than I ever did as a TBM. Secretly, I'm hoping the BP stops me in the halls or calls me to discuss the matter so I can boldly proclaim the reasons of my silent defiance.

Mrs Korihor received her TR a few months ago. Technically she is a full tithe payer since she has no income, but she had a little discussion about that with the SP1C. And she sure knows I aint paying and my reasons why. We discussed that the LDS chruch is basically one of very few churches that doesn't release financial info to it's members. That actually became a weight on her shelf too.

AzCommando wrote:Indeed, that is sweet. I haven't paid directly in years having been ex'd and thrown under the bus. My SAHM TBM DW pays. So basically tithing gets paid on 50% of my income.

Yep it sucks. But she has to keep up appearances and also puts in a day at the temple each week. It makes her feel all warm and fuzzy.
So yeah, I still get shaken down at the 50% rate.

Think of it as a Black Friday 50% discount sale.

AzCommando wrote:Indeed, that is sweet. I haven't paid directly in years having been ex'd and thrown under the bus. My SAHM TBM DW pays. So basically tithing gets paid on 50% of my income.

Yep it sucks. But she has to keep up appearances and also puts in a day at the temple each week. It makes her feel all warm and fuzzy.
So yeah, I still get shaken down at the 50% rate.

Ouch, that sucks. Sorry to hear you were thrown under the bus. And that you are still paying half tithing.

When I decided to stop paying I was ready to do the 50% thing, but I didn't say anything. One day my wife said, "You can do you, but I get to do me, so I'm paying tithing on my pay." I was very relieved. And now we have a camping trailer and we had 10 campouts this year with my family.

Let's hope we can both get down to 0 someday!

korihor,
What are your reasons for the silent defience? My Bishop is a friend and I know he will ask me why I didn't attend. I don't want to completely out myself yet, but I'm not sure what to say.

Went from gross my whole life to Net, to next to nothing. I used the advise of many here to find out how to pay directly to the church w/o the ward being able to see it. BP was confused at the report that was missing any donations after February. I told him we pay direct and he said "we should still be able to see that". I told him we do pay twice a month still but that he will not see it.

I am grateful for the advice on how to pull this off and even more grateful that DW agreed to it.

dispirited wrote:korihor,
What are your reasons for the silent defience? My Bishop is a friend and I know he will ask me why I didn't attend. I don't want to completely out myself yet, but I'm not sure what to say.

Silent only refers that I have not mentioned a word regarding tithing settlement itself. I have been rather vocal and upfront with my BP that I don't believe in church.

I haven't been to tithing settlement in a few years. While I was on the HC, I didn't sign up or go to tithing settlement and I received some worried emails, VM's from one the members of the SP, telling me I have to be a declared full tithe payer to continue on the HC.

I called the Bishop and declared full tithe paying status over the phone. It took 2 minutes. Last year I emailed the Bishop and declared that I am a full tithe payer. This year, I don't plan on even doing that.

Thanks for the shakedown, but I am done with that nonsense.

Two years ago, my shelf had gotten quickly overloaded, and when I got the phone call to make a shakedown appointment, I just said (rather snappishly) to tell the bishop I was a full tithe payer (which I was). I paid tithing the first few months of 2015 and then stopped, and resigned later that year.

Maybe the church will one day realize that grilling people about coffee, alcohol, intimacy, attendance, what movies we watch and whether we've paid a full ticket price isn't exactly faith promoting. I am amazed I put up with that stuff for so many years.