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I got the dreaded call (email actually)

Posted: Sat Sep 22, 2018 9:03 pm
by Evil_Bert
Last night an email arrived in the family inbox. It was from the stake executive secretary wanting to set up a time to meet with the SP about a stake matter. Only thing I can think of is that I told the EQP I didn't want to participate in the ministering program.

After ignoring it last night my wife told me to respond. I did and I am sure that it will cause some issues.

I responded back with the following. We will see what happens next.


I would need to know the matter to be discussed before agreeing to a meeting.

I really don't have the time, energy, desire or belief to meet with anyone from the stake regarding a calling, or anything else.
i simply go to church to support my wife, beyond that I have no interest.






President has asked to meet with you regarding a stake matter. Do you have any availability Sunday morning before noon? Alternatively are you available Tuesday evening at 6:30?

Re: I got the dreaded call (email actually)

Posted: Sat Sep 22, 2018 9:16 pm
by Anon70
Brave. How does DW feel about your response? I hope you share any response you get in return. I wish I was where you are :)

Re: I got the dreaded call (email actually)

Posted: Sat Sep 22, 2018 9:38 pm
by Not Buying It
That’s a great response. You’re not at his beck and call, obligated to meet with him just because he wants to.

Re: I got the dreaded call (email actually)

Posted: Sun Sep 23, 2018 7:33 am
by StarbucksMom
Evil Bert, way to go!! If the SP/Sec responds with a reason for a meeting that you do not find compelling, I would send an email that says nothing except “no thank you” and then just send the rest of this person’s emails to your junk folder. If they do not give you a reason-just times to meet, don’t respond at all and send emails to junk.

I think it’s hilarious if they want to meet bc you said you won’t participate in ministering. NO ONE DOES IT. I am considered less active/inactive (husband and a few kids still attend regularly, I show up for sacrament about 2 x/month) and I have NO CLUE who our ministers are. Even before that, I had no idea for years who our home teachers were.

Several years back when I was a non believer but more active, I emailed the RSP who was a friend, one of the nicest people ever. I said I did not want to be a VT anymore because I was taking classes and overwhelmed with that and kids, etc. I specified that I also did not want VT’ers to come to my home, and that the whole program seemed like a guilt thing anyway. I gave examples of how a mom with sick little kids would drop off something on my door with a note saying she was sorry she couldn’t visit that month, which was ridiculous and not necessary. She respected it, even though she sent an email saying I could still have visits/letters which I again declined. Months-a year later, she emailed to see if I had reconsidered and would like to start VT again or having a VT visit me? Even though she is a friend, I simply responded with “no thank you” and nothing else.

Re: I got the dreaded call (email actually)

Posted: Sun Sep 23, 2018 8:06 am
by FiveFingerMnemonic
Way to take your agency back. They have nothing more up their sleeve to control you.

Re: I got the dreaded call (email actually)

Posted: Sun Sep 23, 2018 1:10 pm
by 2bizE
With stake basketball coming up, they want you to help with the sports stuff.

Re: I got the dreaded call (email actually)

Posted: Sun Sep 23, 2018 7:55 pm
by Evil_Bert
I actually got a very nice response from the stake clerk. He said he understood, he has a son who is in the same place. The meeting is for a calling that would not take any time outside of the Sunday block. No teaching, etc.. I agreed to meet with him on Tuesday. The guy who did all of the tech support just moved, so that could be it.

Re: I got the dreaded call (email actually)

Posted: Sun Sep 23, 2018 8:12 pm
by FiveFingerMnemonic
Evil_Bert wrote:I actually got a very nice response from the stake clerk. He said he understood, he has a son who is in the same place. The meeting is for a calling that would not take any time outside of the Sunday block. No teaching, etc.. I agreed to meet with him on Tuesday. The guy who did all of the tech support just moved, so that could be it.
Tech clerk isn't a bad gig for a NOM. You get sick of setting up broadcasts and projectors after awhile.

Re: I got the dreaded call (email actually)

Posted: Tue Sep 25, 2018 6:58 pm
by Evil_Bert
Well I met with the stake. They want me to serve in the prison branch. Every Sunday you go out and meet with whoever shows up. I told him I would talk with my wife and get back to him.

Re: I got the dreaded call (email actually)

Posted: Tue Sep 25, 2018 7:00 pm
by FiveFingerMnemonic
Evil_Bert wrote:Well I met with the stake. They want me to serve in the prison branch. Every Sunday you go out and meet with whoever shows up. I told him I would talk with my wife and get back to him.
Reminds me of what Grant Palmer was doing his final years in CES.

Re: I got the dreaded call (email actually)

Posted: Tue Sep 25, 2018 7:39 pm
by MalcolmVillager
That calling is on my short list of callings I would consider. Let us know if you take it and how it plays out!

Re: I got the dreaded call (email actually)

Posted: Tue Sep 25, 2018 7:45 pm
by Emower
Evil_Bert wrote: Tue Sep 25, 2018 6:58 pm Well I met with the stake. They want me to serve in the prison branch. Every Sunday you go out and meet with whoever shows up. I told him I would talk with my wife and get back to him.
You could get some pretty cool prison stories out of it? How high security is that place?

Re: I got the dreaded call (email actually)

Posted: Tue Sep 25, 2018 7:52 pm
by Just This Guy
Would this be to run an LDS service, or a non-denominational service? If it is supposed to be an LDS service, then you have the opportunity to have church with very little oversight from the stake and the chance to take things in a direction that you would be comfortable with. If it is a non-denominational service, then screw mormonism, go hold whatever service you want.

Re: I got the dreaded call (email actually)

Posted: Wed Sep 26, 2018 7:25 am
by Evil_Bert
Just This Guy wrote: Tue Sep 25, 2018 7:52 pm Would this be to run an LDS service, or a non-denominational service?
It is an LDS service. I wouldn't be in charge and there are about 3 or 4 people in each meeting from the church. No way to go off in my own direction.

When I told my wife, she laughed. "You hated prison." (I taught a community college class one semester when the original teacher flaked.) I can't help but wonder if this is seen as a way to help me grow a testimony. I am going to give it a day and then gracefully decline.

Re: I got the dreaded call (email actually)

Posted: Wed Sep 26, 2018 8:02 am
by Brent
neat for them....you are marked as "attending".

Re: I got the dreaded call (email actually)

Posted: Wed Sep 26, 2018 8:04 am
by FiveFingerMnemonic
Huh, so perhaps you could accept the call, not attend either service, and all the chapel mormons will think you are at the other service. ;)

Re: I got the dreaded call (email actually)

Posted: Wed Sep 26, 2018 8:08 am
by Red Ryder
So you'd be leaving one prison for another? :lol:

Re: I got the dreaded call (email actually)

Posted: Wed Sep 26, 2018 8:47 am
by Corsair
Emower wrote: Tue Sep 25, 2018 7:45 pm
Evil_Bert wrote: Tue Sep 25, 2018 6:58 pm Well I met with the stake. They want me to serve in the prison branch. Every Sunday you go out and meet with whoever shows up. I told him I would talk with my wife and get back to him.
You could get some pretty cool prison stories out of it? How high security is that place?
I actually had friends in my ward who seved in the prison ministry. You stick with basic Christian teachings of repentance and the atonement and sprinkle in some Primary level Mormonism if it makes sense. Security is quite high and my friends never felt in any danger. It is an easily and quickly revoked privilege for a prisoner to attend. This also was a ministry of Christlike love and service. Frankly, it is one of the more distinctly Christlike things that the LDS church actually does.

You are usually working with people who have done objectively awful things and they may or may not be entirely repentant. But a lot are honestly there. You will see many cases of scary, dangerous individuals trying to truly turn their lives around. Habits of kindness and forgiveness do not come naturally to these people and they are in a sociality that often does not value the virtues of the Sermon on the Mount.

Some prisoners are attending your service out of boredom with any other activities. Sometimes they continue attending for the right reason. And some might stop attending because they really don't want to change their lives. It's often disappointing to people serving in the the prison ministry. But I have heard some very sincere experiences that made this ministry deeply meaningful for the people who served in it.

Also, the LDS prison ministry often interferes with attending your regular ward meetings. I would probably agree to such an assignment

Re: I got the dreaded call (email actually)

Posted: Wed Sep 26, 2018 10:30 am
by Reuben
Corsair wrote: Wed Sep 26, 2018 8:47 am I actually had friends in my ward who seved in the prison ministry. You stick with basic Christian teachings of repentance and the atonement and sprinkle in some Primary level Mormonism if it makes sense. Security is quite high and my friends never felt in any danger. It is an easily and quickly revoked privilege for a prisoner to attend. This also was a ministry of Christlike love and service. Frankly, it is one of the more distinctly Christlike things that the LDS church actually does.
Absolutely.

I wonder sometimes if there isn't a lot of warped perspective in the church. You have a bunch of people meet together who have likely never robbed, assaulted, or shot anyone. Their sins, if you can even call them that, are so far removed from humanity's barbarism that any comparison is frankly ridiculous, but they feel so terrible. They don't need to be healed. They need their physician to stop telling them they're sick.

The people in prison need a physician, though, and somehow it seems the church does a decent job for them.

Re: I got the dreaded call (email actually)

Posted: Wed Sep 26, 2018 11:17 am
by wtfluff
Evil_Bert wrote: Wed Sep 26, 2018 7:25 am I am going to give it a day and then gracefully decline.
Ah, that's a bummer, because the best thing about this calling would have been: Any time the question arose on a Sunday: "Where's Bert?" the answer would have been: "He's in prison."