NOM

I don’t know why it bugged me as much as it did, but my DW asked me “how I felt” about giving my kids back to school father’s blessings to the start the school year. Honestly, I would have loved to have a family counsel where we had root beer floats and just talked about how much we love each child, how proud we are of them, and let them know we’re confident in them and that they can come to us for help and support as needed.

Instead, DW believes I need to use my magic PH powers and utter some words of encouragement while standing in authority behind each child with my hands on their head.

I know it’s tradition, but it really felt silly and archaic to do it this year.

I’m sick of this stupid church and it’s dated patriarchal rituals.

#sodonewithlds

I don't mind "ph" blessings as a tradition.

I was irritated when the SP counselor interrupted them to invite my teens to seminary, which pissed off my non believing son and set him off on a very negative bent about *everything*.

Why would anyone think 8pm on the night before school is a good time to drop in?

I was wearing booty shorts and a BYU tee with no bra, so... hopefully my porn body scared him and he never comes back.

The priesthood is just nothing. So it doesn't really matter if you do it or not. What I don't like is that the man's advice is considered sacred, while their mother's advice holds less water.

A few years back my wife would ask me to give the kids the back to school blessings. My youngest son was 3 or 4 at the time and as soon as I started giving my oldest son the blessing, the youngest kid started laughing uncontrollably. Even as a 3 year old he saw how stupidly goofy those blessings are. After that episode, back to school blessings were never quite the same.

Those PH blessings are just one more thing that should embarrass the hell out of the church. What would the average person think if they were to witness a PH blessing, given to a person with a terminal disease.....especially if the sick person was promised to "be made whole"? Then throw in the whole administration of the salad dressing, I mean 100% pure virgin olive oil, and that person would run like hell away from this church.

Anyway, I feel for you brother, I'm sick of it all as well.

You might be able to get away with doing what I did when my wife called someone else to give her a blessing. Doxxing myself a bit: https://www.reddit.com/r/exmormon/comme ... _blessing/

Most relevant part:

I did it the morning before we left for the hospital. Here's what I said:

NAME, by virtue of being your husband and the person in this world who loves you the most, I place my hands on your head in the hopes of speaking for God. You know that I barely believe, but for your sake I'm willing to step into your world for a short time...

I talked about how God must be pleased with her willingness to always do the right thing, and how she's always true to what she believes - especially the greatest and most universal commandment to love. I told her she would have God's comfort, and that things would work out. There was no oil, no rebuking the illness, no false promises.

Here's the thing, though: even if you can't do it on your own authority, you can do it your own way. Get creative.

Thoughtful wrote: ↑Sun Aug 26, 2018 8:46 pm Why would anyone think 8pm on the night before school is a good time to drop in?

A member of an organization that thinks of meal-time as prime proselyting time because they'll be able to catch people home in the middle of eating dinner. It's not about if they think it is a good time for you, it's about it being a good time for them to catch you at home.

Years ago, when my daughter asked for a back to school blessing I chose that time to come out to her. I felt giving a blessing might be hypocritical. Then I prayed with her as a Christian father praying for the Lord's blessing. Looking back, I could have just as well given her a father's blessing in the tradition of Abraham. Either way, I think was reassuring to her. We are all in different places, but we are all in God's hands.

Her Mom could have given her just as good a blessing, just like Deborah in the Old Testament.

The Placebo effect, and the movie "Dumbo" remind us that the power is in a person's faith, not in the hand me down priesthood.

I actually wish my wife, or kids would ask for a "back to school blessing".

Without hesitation, I would suggest that my wife do it, with me assisting, or in the least, we have a "family prayer" where my wife could be the "voice."

The fact that misogynistic, patriarchal religions have mothers convinced that they don't have the right to call upon the heavens to rain down blessings on their children is abusive, and completely idiotic.

My wife and I have switched to "special prayers" instead of blessings. I hold my kid and pray for the same things I would have blessed him with. I no longer believe anyone but my family is listening, but it gives my kids good feelings and helps them know we love them. We let our 7 year old do one for our 4 year old. It was nice.

wtfluff wrote: ↑Mon Aug 27, 2018 10:10 am I actually wish my wife, or kids would ask for a "back to school blessing".

Without hesitation, I would suggest that my wife do it, with me assisting, or in the least, we have a "family prayer" where my wife could be the "voice."

The fact that misogynistic, patriarchal religions have mothers convinced that they don't have the right to call upon the heavens to rain down blessings on their children is abusive, and completely idiotic.

Yep, "priesthood" back to school blessings are one more way men get to feel more important than women, and women get to feel subservient to men. Besides, they are awkward as hell. Having your dad put his hands on your head and mumble for several minutes about having a clear mind, excelling in your studies, choosing the right, and all that is just weird. Never really liked them even when I believed.

These have been a tradition in my family for over 15 years now. The younger ones ask for them as they don't want to get short changed. I gave the blessings this year, same as always a time to give advice and express love and point out positive characteristics in my kids. This was the first year I didn't mention the PH in the blessing at all (last year I did a couple without then was afraid that not mentioning it would cause a ruckus later I started throwing it in.

I dunno, my compromise this year, to not mention the PH but still do the blessings.

Linked wrote: ↑Mon Aug 27, 2018 10:57 am My wife and I have switched to "special prayers" instead of blessings. I hold my kid and pray for the same things I would have blessed him with. I no longer believe anyone but my family is listening, but it gives my kids good feelings and helps them know we love them. We let our 7 year old do one for our 4 year old. It was nice.

I like this idea of having my wife participate. I have already cast my magic spell on my kids this year. If the magic doesn’t stick, I will have my wife give it a try.

Here's how it goes at our house:

Wife: why don't we gather the kids and see if they want a back to school blessing.

RR: OK, kids come to the living room. Mom wants to know if you want a back to school blessing.

Family gathered: Anyone want a back to school blessing?

Kids: No thanks.... I'm good!

Wife: why not?

Kids: it's goofy and kind of dumb!

RR: ok, just let me know if you change your mind! Go and wash up for dinner!

Wife: why didn't you try and convince them?

RR: uh... that's goofy and kind of dumb!

Wife: your unbelievable!! I wish we were on the same page!

RR: what's for dinner?

My MIL believes in blessings like its some magical power. My niece was in hospital with a bleeding spot on her face, it wouldn't stop. I asked her how the doctors stopped it in the end and she replied 'a blessing'. It was all I could do not to drop my head into my hands.

(What really happened was that she fell asleep so the Dr was able to cauterize the wound)

Red Ryder wrote: ↑Mon Aug 27, 2018 6:04 pm Wife: your unbelievable!! I wish we were on the same page!

I get the same page thing from time to time as well. Sometimes I wonder if we are even in the same book, or the same library.