NOM

Sometimes I think the slow fade is a death by a thousand cuts. I accidentally outed myself to another sister and BIL. The were awesome and supportive, but now I have new painful wounds.

What type of death would you prefer?

I feel like on some level it's "death by a thousand cuts" no matter how you do it.

If you do a hard drop from the church, the initial impact is worse, but the residual effects are there and just seem to have those tiny little hits that never really end.

The slow fade definitely prolongs things and of course gives you a lot more tiny cuts...

It just feels like with this church, if you have family that stay in it then the pain/cuts will never stop. Maybe I'm wrong and will think differently in a year or two, but I am pretty sure for the rest of my life I'm going to have a lot of awkwardness and frustrating that will happen from time to time.

No one wants Tinkerbell to die, but curiously enough she will not die even if you fail to believe in fairies.
BTW, Tinkerbell would tell you to buck up, that time heals all wounds, and that you are free to believe
what you want and not feel constrained by any family members still reciting her healing mantra.

The hard landing is worst. Death of a thousand cuts is not so bad (my humble opinion), especially if you don't give a f*ck.

Embrace the awkwardness. It can become fun in a strange way to experiment socially with causing and recognizing cognitive dissonance. You can become a source of "condescenvy" to those who both look down on you with pity while simultaneously they envy your freedom.

My oldest daughter just ripped off the bandaid a month of so ago, with her inlaws. She wrote up a nice e-mail explaining where they are in the journey without having to go into a lot of the detail about history and doctrine.

Most of the family just reached out and showed support. A few, her BIL, who used to be their bishop and his wife have not said one word about it.

But I talked to her last night and, even though no one is really talking about their journey, everyone is acting normal during family events and reunions.

So good for her.

I just continue the slow fade my self. Almost 9 years and counting.

But my boss is my bishop, so I told my wife there is no way I am going to tell the church leadership anything at this time.

Thanks to all for the support. DW and I seem to be getting past these bouts of conflict a little quicker of late. I hope that trend continues, that we can be different and still respect and love each other.