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Who wants to play a guessing game?
Posted: Wed Jul 25, 2018 4:30 pm
by Red Ryder
I really have to stop reading mormon discussion boards. Some of the comments are really crazy and prime examples of Celestial Lunacy!
So let's play a guessing game. I'll remove the subject from the quoted post and let's see who can guess what it's about!
Take this one:
Some Mormon online wrote:It is wrong. If the church were ready for that next step, the brethren would tell us not to do it. But we are not, so they do not. A Temple Marriage isn't YOUR marriage. It is the New and Everlasting Covenant, it is the Patriarchal Order, it was instituted for the glory of our Father, it is His union. If you can't abide by the standards of chastity, respect, and reverence which are requisite to this order of the Priesthood, don't enter the covenant. It really is that simple.
__________ is unchaste, disrespectful, and irreverent. It darkens the divine affections with which we are endowed.
Re: Who wants to play a guessing game?
Posted: Wed Jul 25, 2018 5:46 pm
by Reuben
It's something that
- the author thinks is so terribly wrong that it ruins marriages
- the author thinks is common in Mormonism
- the Q15 haven't said anything about (at least lately)
I'm going to have to go with animal surrogate pregnancy.
Wait, change that to having fewer than 8 kids.
No, it's watching PG-13 movies while getting another piercing and playing with face cards that depict the queen of hearts taking oral contraceptives. Just thinking about such abominations gives me the vapors.
Re: Who wants to play a guessing game?
Posted: Wed Jul 25, 2018 6:08 pm
by 2bizE
Fill in the blank with one of these answers:
Sterilization
Marriage outside of temple
Paying money to go to temple
Sex without birth control (similar to sterilization) the church didn’t want you to use a condom, which is just plain unchaste
Re: Who wants to play a guessing game?
Posted: Wed Jul 25, 2018 7:06 pm
by wtfluff
Ha.
Too easy...
Re: Who wants to play a guessing game?
Posted: Wed Jul 25, 2018 7:47 pm
by slavereeno
Enjoying sex?
Sex without polygamy pannies?
Sex at all?
Sex without intent to conceive?
Sex involving foodstuffs?
I'm thinking something to do with sex where somebody has a good time?
Re: Who wants to play a guessing game?
Posted: Wed Jul 25, 2018 8:02 pm
by dogbite
Oh the joys of a forum run by the more good foundation
Re: Who wants to play a guessing game?
Posted: Wed Jul 25, 2018 9:57 pm
by Corsair
Masturbation?
Oral sex?
Birth control?
Reintroducing polygamy?
Not "calling the Sabbath a delight?"
Caffeinated chocolate?
Voting Democrat?
Voting for Trump?
Not having a picture of Russell Nelson in your bedroom?
Still using McConkie's "Mormon Doctrine" in Sunday School?
Bringing donuts on Fast Sunday?
Texting in the temple?
Attending Sunstone?
Saying kind words about John Dehlin?
Posting on NOM?
Re: Who wants to play a guessing game?
Posted: Wed Jul 25, 2018 10:36 pm
by Archimedes
I'm going to have to go with floating mosaic tiles.
Re: Who wants to play a guessing game?
Posted: Thu Jul 26, 2018 12:04 am
by moksha
__________ is unchaste, disrespectful, and irreverent. It darkens the divine affections with which we are endowed.
Monogamy.
Think he is arguing that
real Mormons need to practice polygamy and not that unchaste monogamy stuff. He wants us to unleash our inner Brigham Young.
Re: Who wants to play a guessing game?
Posted: Thu Jul 26, 2018 8:02 am
by crazyhamster
It sounds like something that's currently going on, but that they don't agree with. I'm thinking sex without garments. But I am inclined to agree with Moksha's "monogamy" answer!
Re: Who wants to play a guessing game?
Posted: Thu Jul 26, 2018 8:35 am
by jfro18
I am so confused. Would guess birth control, polygamy, or maybe something like sex practices beyond the most basic sex?
But really it could be anything... clearly this is a go-to response for difficult issues.
Re: Who wants to play a guessing game?
Posted: Thu Jul 26, 2018 9:16 am
by oliblish
Divorce
Re: Who wants to play a guessing game?
Posted: Thu Jul 26, 2018 9:39 am
by Brent
Sex with the lights on?
Re: Who wants to play a guessing game?
Posted: Thu Jul 26, 2018 9:57 am
by Hagoth
I'll take oral sex for $200. As in Jeopardy, that is.
Re: Who wants to play a guessing game?
Posted: Thu Jul 26, 2018 10:10 am
by jfro18
Hagoth wrote: ↑Thu Jul 26, 2018 9:57 am
I'll take oral sex for $200. As in Jeopardy, that is.
I hope not - that makes the rest of the paragraph beyond creepy...
Re: Who wants to play a guessing game?
Posted: Thu Jul 26, 2018 10:18 am
by slavereeno
I feel like we are playing family feud...
Richard Dawson: "NOM family! We asked one hundred Mormons to fill in the blank in the following statement - 'BLANK is unchaste, disrespectful, and irreverent. It darkens the divine affections with which we are endowed.'" *pauses for effect*, "We are looking for the number one answer."
Nom: "Well Dick," *tapping on desklet*, "I'm going to say, 'Contraception'"
Rest of family: "Good answer, Good answer!"
Richard Dawson: "Contraception eh?" *raises eyebrows* "Let's see.." *motions with card up at the board* "Survey Says!"
Ding! {{ [3] Contraception/Birth Control (21) }}
Richard Dawson "Number three! With 21 respondents. Well done, well done."
Re: Who wants to play a guessing game?
Posted: Thu Jul 26, 2018 10:20 am
by jfro18
slavereeno wrote: ↑Thu Jul 26, 2018 10:18 am
I feel like we are playing family feud...
Richard Dawson: "NOM family! We asked one hundred Mormons to fill in the blank in the following statement - 'BLANK is unchaste, disrespectful, and irreverent. It darkens the divine affections with which we are endowed.'"
*pauses for effect*, "We are looking for the number one answer."
Nom: "Well Dick,"
*tapping on desklet*, "I'm going to say, 'Contraception'"
Rest of family: "Good answer, Good answer!"
Richard Dawson: "Contraception eh?"
*raises eyebrows* "Let's see.."
*motions with card up at the board* "Survey Says!"
Ding! {{ [3] Contraception/Birth Control (21) }}
Richard Dawson "Number three! With 21 respondents. Well done, well done."
Richard Dawson is just about as handsy as Joseph likely was, so your analogy is just about perfect...
Re: Who wants to play a guessing game?
Posted: Thu Jul 26, 2018 10:25 am
by IT_Veteran
+1 for oral sex. It clearly fits into the last line. I think the first line does too, as in "If the church were ready to accept a ban on oral sex, the brethren would tell us not to do it."
Re: Who wants to play a guessing game?
Posted: Thu Jul 26, 2018 12:20 pm
by Linked
I also thought it would be oral sex, especially considering it was half-banned for a year a few decades ago.
RR, how long will you keep us waiting here!?
Re: Who wants to play a guessing game?
Posted: Thu Jul 26, 2018 12:43 pm
by moksha
Hagoth wrote: ↑Thu Jul 26, 2018 9:57 am
I'll take oral sex for $200. As in Jeopardy, that is.
Was was this the Trump bargains category? If so, was cheeseburger the $100 answer?