NOM

Called upon to give a prayer in Gospel Doctrine class? Never be at a loss for words if you jot this down on a note card and keep it in your wallet.

Oh, God. Thanketh thee f'r this lesson to nourish and sanctify the souls
of all who did listen to it. We prayeth to thee f'r moisture in this the
latt'r days. The Church is true and the booketh is too.
In the nameth of Jesus Christ, Amen.

The usage of Shakespearean English is sure to please any Stake Authorities sitting in the audience.

This is brilliant. Its is just enough Mormon-speak wrapped in KJV English so that many congregants will be confused by it, but not necessarily accuse you of apostasy. On the other hand, you will not get asked to pray in church again soon. Few people will be able to express why since that prayer has the elements of orthodoxy while still feeling satirical.

Hahaha... perfect.... and too funny