NOM

One of my kids just recently got their PB.

It was an interesting experience from my perspective. Part of me was extremely anxious as my thoughts reflected on the amount of time and energy I've put into raising my kid to think on their own. I was worried that some random grandpa that lives nearby would somehow place his hands on my child's head and undo all that. I was extremely anxious that this random grandpa that lives nearby, that's never met my child, could influence my kid in extreme ways that could impact their life decisions based on the premise that said random grandpa speaks directly to them on behalf of God.

I was also extremely anxious because this decision to get a PB from some random grandpa that lives nearby was done with zero input from me, the child's father. The child and child's mother have been secretly discussing getting guidance from a random grandpa that lives nearby without my input for fear that I would "go off on another rant about the church that would drive the spirit away!"

This hurt. I don't rant very often about the church in front of my kids let alone try to actively push them away. I've decided to focus on teaching them to think for themselves and let the product stand on it's own merits. So needless to say when I got the call from Sister Ryder asking what my schedule looked like on Thursday at 7:00 pm I was taken back and felt hurt. I got over the hurt pretty quickly after hugging my child and hearing their side of the story. They kept putting it off but finally caved to their mother's insistence. I also realized a PB was a milestone event that all Mormon kids eventually partake in.

So Thursday at 7:00 PM comes around and we find ourselves knocking on the front door of a random grandpa that lives nearby. Some random cute little old grandma answers the door and invites us in. I was taken back by the smell of mothballs and chocolate chip cookies hoping she would offer cookies. As we walked in we passed a parlor room and continued into another family room area. The random grandpa started to ask us some questions making small talk and getting to know us. The three of us answered only the questions asked, not offering further information the questions seemed to be begging for.

Finally the small talk ended and the random grandpa invited my child into the parlor room we earlier passed by. As they got up, I stood to follow. Apparently this caused concern for the random grandpa that lives nearby. He mentioned he was going to quickly speak to my child first then would invite us in when he was ready. We were left there with the cute old grandma. She just sat there smiling not saying a word. I broke the silence and asked her if she was making chocolate chip cookies? She said she was not. Disappointed, I asked her how long they lived in their home. She replied, "since 1968." The wood paneled walls, like the Holy Ghost, confirmed her answer.

After about 10 minutes, the random grandpa that lives nearby returned from the parlor and invited us to join him. I stood and let Sister Ryder walk in front of me and glanced behind to see if no bake grandma was coming too. She stayed in her seat and didn't follow.

Once in the Patriarchal Parlor we sat down and patiently waited for the random grandpa that lives nearby to attach a small microphone to his tie and plug it into a small recording device. Then he pulled out a second small recording device as backup and nervously told us "you can't be too careful!"

I was going to pull out my phone and secretly record the patriarchal blessing but decided not to. The blessing lasted nearly 10 minutes as he seemed to follow an outlined template he had sitting on his conductor stand set up beside him. I kept my eyes open the whole time watching him as his hands never left my child's head. My mind tried to stay focused on his words hoping he wouldn't be promising blessings based on worthiness. My mind quickly wandered to the wackiness of this ritual and I couldn't help feel like I was in some sort of 1960's episode of the twighlight zone.

By mormon standards it was a beautiful blessing. After it was over the random grandpa stopped the recording device and pulled out a phone from his suit jacket pocket. The Patriarchal Paparazzi asked us to pose for a picture and quickly snapped three then escorted us to the door. We never saw the cute old grandma again. We didn't get cookies either.

About two weeks later my child gets an envelope in the mail with that familiar Church of Jesus Christ logo in the corner and the address of the random grandpa that lived nearby. Inside the envelope was a letter, inscribed with the words of the patriarchal blessing. After reading through it, Sister Ryder says "where's the rest of it? I remember hearing this and that but it's not here?" Now I wish I would have recorded it to see what they edited.

My child wants me to take the 8x11 paper copy to work and shrink it down to scripture size and laminate it. I'm tempted to edit it further adding my own words before shrinking it.

I just might do that.

One of our kids had a similar experience because we moved and so the P was unfamiliar to us. His blessing was over the top pushing mission, marriage, church church church. Child was influenced for a few weeks/months. I kept coaching critical thought, knowing yourself, thinking for yourself etc. 4 years later this child is not on a mission nor going on one, not married in temple, and a fabulous, almost done with college non-conformist critical thinker. Truly, the church cannot compete with rational reasonable thought.

My oldest DD just did this and we had a similar experience overall. I think they got the dictation correct. I read through it when we got it and it seemed to be the same.

I also read through mine. I didn't have anything special in mine but a promise to come forth in the AM of the 1st Resurrection. Hers didn't have that. I also will prepare for the 2nd coming. Hers also didn't have that. Ot was generic and down the middle. No message of marriage, mission, parenting, vocation, or testimony. Just bland choose the right, have faith, oh and big surprise, tribe of Ephraim.

Well, it could have been worse I guess. What a waste of time.

I have two more children that might get their PB, but I won't worry about it. I wil make sure I record it if they do, however.

PBs are a touchy and painful topic for me. I felt damned to hell because I broke some of the "admonishment" that was in my blessing and being raised in a shame-based family, community, culture, and church, I discounted my blessing as "lost". I also remember reading the book Miracle of Forgiveness, especially the part about the Prodigal Son who could "never regain his inheritance". SWK made it clear that this blessing was lost, and that was that. What a glorious thing to hear from a man who was venerated as next to God when I was growing up.

I was damned to hell, and I knew it.

Since this time, I think the whole PB thing is creepy. It's like soothsaying, or necromancy--calling on the dead (as it were) to 'whisper'. I once asked a patriarch what he felt when he gave a blessing, and he gave me the round-about answer.

How can someone feel "prompted" to say certain things when there are no words that come into their mind, or how can you give this elaborate blessing when the words just flow forth unless there is some supernatural power possessing you or something? Do we believe in the LDS church in spiritual possession? I've always been taught that possession is bad!....but in a round-about way, we practice it?

Anyway, I no longer even concern myself with my own blessing or that of my children. If they read it, I will respect their feelings; if they don't, I will respect their feelings. I haven't read my own blessing in probably 20 years. To me, its nothing more than a symbol of decades of lost life, as I deferred my own belief systems to others who arrogantly say they speak for God.

It seems to me that the question and answer portion of the PB system is crucial for the customization of the end product. For example, I recieved mine just before serving a mission and low and behold, it had mission advice in it!

Now, if you ask the right questions, and use the template, these things write themselves. A good programmer using the standard template and Q&A input could fully automate this and do away with the need for old neighbors you don't know.

Additionally it is important to remember that patriarchs up until the 1940s charged a fee to do blessings and there was no jurisdictional restrictions so you could get multiple PBs back then if you didn't happen to like the first one. If you did really cool PB's the more money you made.

Rob4Hope wrote: ↑Thu Jul 05, 2018 10:09 am How can someone feel "prompted" to say certain things when there are no words that come into their mind, or how can you give this elaborate blessing when the words just flow forth unless there is some supernatural power possessing you or something? Do we believe in the LDS church in spiritual possession? I've always been taught that possession is bad!....but in a round-about way, we practice it?

That's why the Holy Familiar is a personage of spirit.

Side note: mine says I will never apostatize.

Seriously. Sigh....

Sorry this caused you grief RR! This whole mixed faith marriage/family thing is tough. And when the church steps in with it's thought stopping "revelations" it feels like they are stealing your children's minds from you, like they stole your own mind from you 30 (20, 40, 50, etc) years ago. Keep doing your best and loving your family.

Red Ryder wrote: ↑Wed Jul 04, 2018 1:31 pmAbout two weeks later my child gets an envelope in the mail with that familiar Church of Jesus Christ logo in the corner and the address of the random grandpa that lived nearby. Inside the envelope was a letter, inscribed with the words of the patriarchal blessing. After reading through it, Sister Ryder says "where's the rest of it? I remember hearing this and that but it's not here?" Now I wish I would have recorded it to see what they edited.

You may want to ask the random grandpa for a copy of the recording. Tell him you think a part got missed and you want to check the accuracy of the transcription.

Red Ryder wrote: ↑Thu Jul 05, 2018 11:01 am Side note: mine says I will never apostatize.

Seriously. Sigh....

Maybe you had the 2nd Annointing in a previous life?

Red Ryder wrote: ↑Thu Jul 05, 2018 11:01 am Side note: mine says I will never apostatize.

Seriously. Sigh....

Ironically, there is no way to get this particular prophecy "wrong" since it is a self-fulfiling prophecy. Every blessing is contingent upon your personal righteousness and worthiness. When you stopped drinking the Kool-aid and started drinking the coffee the prophecy was fulfilled.

Wow..how times have changed...parents..microphones..pictures...are kidding me?? Wow...this is not even close to my own experience...
If edited..it is because pretty much all blessings are the same..at least for women. But I hope you added some more info anyway!!

We weren't allowed to sit in during either of our older sons' PBs. So I have no idea if it was edited. But second son came out feeling very special because of his pb. At the time I reinforced this and thought that perhaps there was something to it. Until my son compared his pb to his close friend's and they both said the same things. Same random grandpa blessings given about a week apart the general messages were the same and many phrases were word for word identical.