NOM

I teach Sunbeams, including my youngest son, with my wife. The Primary Pres came up to me at the beginning of sharing time yesterday and told me that they were going to help us stay involved in our other meetings by having us take turns in sharing time; one week I would stay in sharing time with the kids, the other week I could go to Elders quorum. And today was my week for Elder's quorum. I am horrible at thinking on the fly, so as she was saying this I kept thinking, "don't be a jerk and don't say too much". In the space of about 3 seconds I thought about how much I don't want to go to elder's quorum ever again, followed by the realization that I can just go home on my days off, followed by some panic as I considered the days I would be in charge of getting seven 4 year olds to pay attention to a boring (and morally questionable) sharing time lesson by myself. So I told her that I prefer to have both of us there in sharing time and waited for her to walk away.

In hindsight I wish I would have said something about "how nice to consider that for us, but no thanks, we will stay in sharing time together." Or something else that wasn't quite so forward, but I do enjoy running my own life.

Try not to stress about it. I bet she is secretly happy to have an extra person in sharing time to help with the sunbeams.

I have to commend your Primary President for a good idea to keep you involved with the adult class. I hang out out in Priests Quorum which has fewer appalling statements. Staffing Primary is really difficult and it's unfortunate when a new member of the ward quickly gain anonymity because they are in Primary. Having a ward policy that let's the adults out of Sabbath baby sitting should help.

This situation is similar to what my wife ran into. A few months ago I was again breathing a sigh of relief as Sunday School ended. An older woman came up to me who is longtime ward member. She asked me, "How is your wife? I haven't seen her in months and I was worried that she has become inactive."

Stifling a hearty guffaw, I responded, "She plays piano in Primary and she is doing well." This was very reassuring to this woman, but there are two enormous levels of irony that passed her by.

First, obviously, is that she was talking to me, the guy that does not believe yet attends church for his family. Second, my wife asked to be in Primary so she could get away from Relief Society. My Lesbian daughter married her girlfriend last year and my believing wife wanted neither the pity nor the questions of ward members once they found out the situation. My wife is a full believer, but made the correct and Christlike decision to love our daughter.

Linked, I would thank your Primary President for making some space for adults that just might be of assistance to you eventually. There are lots of circumstances where this might help.

I agree that this is a nice gesture to make it so adults can go to grown up classes and maintain friendships with adults. As a TBM I would have really appreciated it, but now I just feel awkward in those grown up meetings for reasons you are all deeply familiar with.

I think the way she approached it threw me for a loop. Earlier during class time she had asked how many kids we had so she could make sure she set up the right amount of chairs. She set up enough chairs for the kids and for one teacher. Then when we got to sharing time I was looking for my chair and she told me I needed to go to Elder's Quorum. It wasn't a request, it was a command. (Shinasai in Japanese is a polite way to command, in between "please" and "DO IT!"). I'm especially sensitive to that kind of thing now, for better or worse.

Corsair, that's pretty funny about the woman asking about your wife's activity. Little did she know she was talking to a pirate NOM board runner!

MoPag wrote: ↑Tue Jul 03, 2018 6:06 am Try not to stress about it. I bet she is secretly happy to have an extra person in sharing time to help with the sunbeams.

I hope so. She seems like the kind of person that really prefers to have things her way. Or maybe I'm projecting my mother onto her...

Yappari shinasai hou ga ii ne.

Linked wrote: ↑Tue Jul 03, 2018 1:05 pm I hope so. She seems like the kind of person that really prefers to have things her way. Or maybe I'm projecting my mother onto her...

I'm glad you refused. People in the Church need to do what they think and feel is best for them. I think it needs more people like you.

If you do happen to get a break from Sunbeams may I suggest a trip to the Quickie Mart for a delicious Slurpee instead of PH meeting? There is more enlightenment in a single Slurpee than a year's worth of priestcraft meetings.

I talked to DW about the encounter and she said if she had been asked to go to relief society she would have just had me leave instead. She is pretty great. I asked her if she was interested in attending relief society occasionally and she said "no way!!!" Apparently the one of the bishop's counselors asked her if she felt connected to the women in relief society sometime. Her response was: "No, but I have never felt connected to them in the 10 years so far. I've always had callings in YW and Primary. But I'm good with that." She is an introvert and apparently isn't interested in making friends in the ward.

Random wrote: ↑Mon Jul 09, 2018 9:32 pm I'm glad you refused. People in the Church need to do what they think and feel is best for them. I think it needs more people like you.

Thanks, I agree. Less social pressure to conform would help a lot of people feel more comfortable there.

Archimedes wrote: ↑Mon Jul 09, 2018 11:34 pm If you do happen to get a break from Sunbeams may I suggest a trip to the Quickie Mart for a delicious Slurpee instead of PH meeting? There is more enlightenment in a single Slurpee than a year's worth of priestcraft meetings.

Right? There used to be a guy in our ward who had interesting things to say in elder's quorum, but he moved. Now everyone just waits for the bell to come. Maybe that's changed after injecting some age into the meetings.