NOM

Last Sunday I went to the air show at Hill Air Force Base in Utah. I'd never attended before because I grew up around there and was able to see quite a bit from my house. Even last Saturday I had planes flying directly over my house. But a friend invited me because he knows the organizer and got VIP passes. There was special parking, an open bar, lots of top notch food, a nice covered pavilion with couches and chairs, bathroom trailer with AC, and we were right up front with a prime view of the show. Many of the pilots from the show came into our VIP lounge to hang out; what a great day!

My NOM friend said to me: "I see all these people laughing and happy, yet they are not going to church today."
I said back to him: "Well you know, it isn't real happiness, it's just temporary. They can't be truly happy unless the go to church for 3 every week and sit through those mind-numbing meetings."

We had a good laugh and enjoyed the rest of the day.

Another NOM friend there said his TBM neighbor came across the street last week and wanted to talk to him, just share a quick message and invite him out to church. The NOMer quickly shut this guy down very directly, which was surprising to this TBM and the TBM responded with "I just want you to experience the same true joy that I do." How freakn pious is that?!

What are the other trite phrases that TBMs use that you can see a mile away?
"That's not true happiness, it's only temporary."
"How do they cope with the death of their loved one without a knowledge of the true gospel and plan of happiness?"
"Other churches have some of the truth but ours has all the truth."
"We are so blessed to have been born into the one true church."
"Without a shadow of a doubt, with every fiber of my being."
"God's ways are not man's ways."

Okay, that's enough from me, I'm getting a bit nauseated. Often TBMs use these phrases in mixed company and they are blind as to the pious nature of how they sound; it can be quite narcissistic.

The most righteous spirits were reserved to come forth in this age.-- Once attributed to Bro. Packer, but more likely inspired by Saturday's Warrior.

"I never said I was perfect, but there is no error in the revelations I have taught."--Joseph Smith......
which should read, "I have corrected, and will continue to correct any revelations I have taught."

Exactly who was responsible for was the original prayer of thanks for rain, but stated as "We give thanks for the moisture we have received"? Language has moved forward without heed for LDS cultural sensibilities. Praying and thanking for moisture still earnestly happens in LDS prayers while innocently not realizing how bizarre and lascivious this now sounds. "Yes, bishop, I prayed for moisture and I was rewarded with just enough in a particular place I won't detail for you right now. But do note the smile on my wife's face..."

The church is perfect but the people aren’t.

Sure, there are things that are problematic but you just have to have faith.

"I know the church is true."

Corsair wrote: ↑Mon Jun 25, 2018 7:21 pm Exactly who was responsible for was the original prayer of thanks for rain, but stated as "We give thanks for the moisture we have received"? Language has moved forward without heed for LDS cultural sensibilities. Praying and thanking for moisture still earnestly happens in LDS prayers while innocently not realizing how bizarre and lascivious this now sounds. "Yes, bishop, I prayed for moisture and I was rewarded with just enough in a particular place I won't detail for you right now. But do note the smile on my wife's face..."

Praying for moisture...that's a classic! These days it could definitely apply to older couples who ran out of personal lube! Nice catch Corsair and I hope you and yours are blessed with lots of moisture this hot dry summer!

Dupe

TBM- “I felt prompted to ...”
Normal person- “I thought ...”

TBM- “We have felt the spirit in great abundance today”
Normal person- “WTF I just felt bored”

TBM-“Did you get a priesthood blessing”
Normal person- “Did you call the police”

TBM- “Our leaders have counseled us to...”
Normal person- “You’re in a cult”

Now we are getting into trite vain repetitions in prayers:

"Please bless these refreshments (tables full of sugary sweet treats) to nourish and strengthen our bodies and do us the good we need."

"Bless us that we'll all travel safely home." Even if it is only a two block walk to from church to house.

Dupe

Dupe - I've got to stop using MS Edge - I've been trying to give it a fair shake, but...back to Chrome!

One of the funniest cartoons ever was in the New Era back in the 70s. Two soldiers praying in a foxhole amidst a barrage of enemy fire. The guy praying was obviously Mormon because the caption was "...and please bless those who aren't here this time that they can be her next time."

Question, who is the only person on Earth able to use and authorize the use of all priesthood keys?

I apologize to anyone I may have offended.

I feel so humbled to have been called to be [high-status position].

The 2nd counselor called me this week and I knew right there he was asking me to speak this week. I don't really want to be here. Har har har.

High counsilor: I bring you the love of the stake presidency

IT_Veteran wrote: ↑Mon Jun 25, 2018 10:33 pm The church is perfect but the people aren’t.

Sure, there are things that are problematic but you just have to have faith.

The church may have faults because it's an organization run by men, but the gospel is perfect.

My parents pulled that one out when we talked about the MTC president and his victim(s), and how he received no church discipline and how the church even attacked his accuser by compiling a dossier to smear her. Somehow this phrase let their universe continue unaffected.

Linked wrote: ↑Wed Jun 27, 2018 11:34 am

IT_Veteran wrote: ↑Mon Jun 25, 2018 10:33 pm The church is perfect but the people aren’t.

Sure, there are things that are problematic but you just have to have faith.

The church may have faults because it's an organization run by men, but the gospel is perfect.

My parents pulled that one out when we talked about the MTC president and his victim(s), and how he received no church discipline and how the church even attacked his accuser by compiling a dossier to smear her. Somehow this phrase let their universe continue unaffected.

It's funny you say that. Here's the actual message I got from my dad after I publicly announced I'd left the church after the Joseph Bishop story broke and had been confirmed:

[IT_Veteran] if you keep airing your greviences against the Church for the actions of a few mortal and fallible men in a public forum that your children have access to I will predict three things. You will turn them against the Church. You will continue to break your Mother's heart. You will make me understand more fully exactly how Alma and Mosiah felt.
Your Mother has been crying non-stop since your last post. Please use restraint and realize that the Church is run by men, subject to the temptations of the world, not perfect beings.

IT_Veteran wrote: ↑Wed Jun 27, 2018 12:09 pm

Linked wrote: ↑Wed Jun 27, 2018 11:34 am

IT_Veteran wrote: ↑Mon Jun 25, 2018 10:33 pm The church is perfect but the people aren’t.

Sure, there are things that are problematic but you just have to have faith.

The church may have faults because it's an organization run by men, but the gospel is perfect.

My parents pulled that one out when we talked about the MTC president and his victim(s), and how he received no church discipline and how the church even attacked his accuser by compiling a dossier to smear her. Somehow this phrase let their universe continue unaffected.

It's funny you say that. Here's the actual message I got from my dad after I publicly announced I'd left the church after the Joseph Bishop story broke and had been confirmed:

[IT_Veteran] if you keep airing your greviences against the Church for the actions of a few mortal and fallible men in a public forum that your children have access to I will predict three things. You will turn them against the Church. You will continue to break your Mother's heart. You will make me understand more fully exactly how Alma and Mosiah felt.
Your Mother has been crying non-stop since your last post. Please use restraint and realize that the Church is run by men, subject to the temptations of the world, not perfect beings.

Man, your FIL is an a&$hole. "Poor me and your mother, you are destroying us just so you can live in reality. If you don't stop it will really hurt us, just lie to yourself like we do you big jerk."

My parents have been less emotionally manipulative about it, but they use the same defense mechanism. My dad seemed legit pissed about Joseph Bishop, and even called the church a good old boys club, but they are still in. But my parents are old, and the church is a net good for them at this point, I think.