NOM

My DD insisted we watch this movie. https://www.imdb.com/title/tt2738706/ She watched it with some friends and thought it was going to be a family treat to watch it. The movie ended up being super cheesy and nauseatingly laced with Mormon truth claims and testimony. There were some funny parts, but honestly I found myself being forced to chuckle at it because I was so worried about the testimony crap in it. It troubled DW as well and she didn't end up enjoying it at all.

Bottom line is I feel terribly guilty. I love DD and want to support her likes and interests including her church participation. I don't want her to be sad that her suggestion was a flop, but in the place I am right now that stuff churns my insides still. DW felt the same and was sad we couldn't enjoy that activity as a family. She is sad we are having trouble enjoying a lot of what we used to do together. (church, temple visits, stupid churchy movies, mormon messages etc)

That's a tough one for us too. We're finding other things to do with the kids, but I think the 13yo is the toughest nut to crack. She enjoys doing most things with us (hiking, hockey games, etc.) but we're trying to give her some space and a voice to choose her activities too. We've told her that Sundays are not sacrosanct, and we may do other things outside of church, but I also don't want to make her uncomfortable.

She's avoided church topics with me entirely. We listened to one of the more recent Mormon Stories episodes in the car last weekend while she was asleep. When I noticed she had woken up, I asked her if she'd like me to turn it off - she responded that she was kind of enjoying rebutting the guest's beliefs with her own, but a little later had her headphones back on.

I also find it hard to watch anything church-related. I've never been really into them, but now it's almost painful to watch. I think we're all just hoping for the day to come when our kids will ask us what we believe, why, and why we don't believe in the church anymore. I don't want to force anything on any of them, but it sure would be nice to have discussions around it without feeling like I'm just trying to tear down her belief.

I'm not sure why, but movies with Mormon themes in them are terrible. The biggest critical and commercial success was "God's Army" but that was not supposed to be the highlight of LDS cinema. "Saints and Soldiers" is pretty good, but it leaves out the Mormonism as much as possible. I am instantly skeptical of anything involving Kirby Heyborne. LDS style comedies are reliably mediocre. "The Singles Ward" is the unfortunate best example of an LDS dramatic comedy and I would not recommend it to a believing audience.

I think the central problem is that Mormonism is really weird from an outside standpoint. It's unintentionally funny, but believing Mormons are reticent to laught about it even among themselves. Mormons are indignant when outsiders laugh at them. Few believers would willingly accept the truth that the vast number of 19 year old boys are earnest and naive when it comes to facing religious issues. Plus, the dress code for missionaries has barely changed since 1950. The surreptitious temple videos on YouTube are the unfortunate evidence that internal LDS practices exposed to the light of scrutiny are comedy at best.

Corsair wrote: ↑Tue May 29, 2018 12:24 pm I think the central problem is that Mormonism is really weird from an outside standpoint

Yes I think it really felt wierd to me this time. The worst part was that the tension in the room was palpable, so DD started making excuses for suggesting the movie and then felt bad. This whole thing is such a pain.

IT_Veteran wrote: ↑Tue May 29, 2018 10:34 am I also find it hard to watch anything church-related. I've never been really into them, but now it's almost painful to watch. I think we're all just hoping for the day to come when our kids will ask us what we believe, why, and why we don't believe in the church anymore. I don't want to force anything on any of them, but it sure would be nice to have discussions around it without feeling like I'm just trying to tear down her belief.

This resonates with me. This is the DD I haven't directly addressed my FC with too. She loves church and is 14 so I worry about that conversation.

To be fair, it isn't just Mormon movies. Modern Christian themed cinema is almost universally bad. It's pandering to a specific audience with our realizing how out of touch it is viewed by the rest of the world. Take a look at the recent "big" Christian movies: God's Not Dead, Old Fashioned, Last Ounce of Courage, etc. They are all pretty bad and are rather insulting to non-Christians.

I will say that Singles Ward is a guilty favorite of mine. I think it is unique that is is not afraid to point out problems and flaws in the young adult culture of the church. It is defiantly a product of it's time and it is not something that could be made today. Today, Mormons can't admit that they are anything less than perfect. Mormons have forgotten how to laugh at themselves over the last decade and a half.

I will say that it has been years and one major faith transition since I last saw Singles Ward. I would be somewhat interested to review it with a majorly changed perspective, but it's not that high on my movie priority list.

slavereeno wrote: ↑Tue May 29, 2018 2:22 pm Yes I think it really felt wierd to me this time. The worst part was that the tension in the room was palpable, so DD started making excuses for suggesting the movie and then felt bad. This whole thing is such a pain.

Right. It's not your fault it's a bad movie, but the tension around the church is high in your home and this does not help.

slavereeno wrote: ↑Tue May 29, 2018 2:26 pm

IT_Veteran wrote: ↑Tue May 29, 2018 10:34 am I also find it hard to watch anything church-related. I've never been really into them, but now it's almost painful to watch. I think we're all just hoping for the day to come when our kids will ask us what we believe, why, and why we don't believe in the church anymore. I don't want to force anything on any of them, but it sure would be nice to have discussions around it without feeling like I'm just trying to tear down her belief.

This resonates with me. This is the DD I haven't directly addressed my FC with too. She loves church and is 14 so I worry about that conversation.

Sounds like we’re in similar boats (no, not that boat). I worry about her buying into what the leader’s are selling based solely on how it makes her feel. Damn right that being told she can live in heaven forever with her family makes her feel good. She is our emotional/spiritual child. Grandparents, aunts, and uncles (except for that damned dirty apostate uncle ) will reinforce to her that the church is true, that although I love her I’ve sinply lost my way, etc..

I expect that pressure on her to roughly double if/when DW’s unbelief becomes known. Kalikala started down a scary path this weekend, asking my FIL to help her find answers to her questions that have been raised by the essays. He’s committed to helping her, doesn’t know she is an unbeliever. Should be interesting!