NOM

I think I need to go back to seeing a therapist. I'm just not moving forward and I have things I really need to talk to someone about. Unfortunately, the therapist I was seeing a few years back passed away last year. I wasn't necessarily convinced we were the best match for faith issues, but at least she had my history and we could move on from where I am now. I looked at the therapist who now has her files, and I just didn't get a good vibe from her website. It seems like a stupid reason not to see someone, but without interviewing a ton of people, I'm not really sure how else to go about it.

Now I have to figure out how to see someone else. My OBGYN recommended the only therapist I ever saw, and since those issues aren't really there anymore, I'm not sure how to find a good match. I tried a recommendation from exmormon reddit, but the person can't see me for two months, which really isn't going to cut it.

How do you weed through all the names, bios, etc. to find someone who can see you soon, take your insurance, can deal with mormonism as well as other issues?

Also, do I need to see a woman? There were a few male therapists recommended on exmormon for my area, but I thought maybe that just wasn't a good idea. And they are kind of on the longer side of how far I want to travel.

That's a tough one. There are so many out there, and it can be hard to find one who works. First, if you are comfortable, ask around for referrals from friends. Then I would check and see if they have any published writings like on blogs and such. Most will talk about the issues they deal the most with. Finally, check your insurance website to see if any are covered. Even if they are not, you can check with your insurance to see if you can bill out of network and get some reimbursement.

It might take a couple of visits, but most therapists offer a free consultation. You can also just go see them. At worst they don't work out, but you can get an idea of the atmosphere.

Pull up a chair and let us NOMmies be your therapist until you find one.

What's bothering you MM?

Sorry about your therapist that died. That sucks.

MerrieMiss wrote: ↑Thu May 10, 2018 10:13 am
How do you weed through all the names, bios, etc. to find someone who can see you soon, take your insurance, can deal with mormonism as well as other issues?

Ugh this^^^

I wish I had some easy answers, but I don't. RR is right though, we could be your therapists for the next couple weeks until the ex-mo recommendation can see you.

Only thing I would say is be cautious of faith based therapists. Even general christian counseling services, I have had poor luck with them. Their underlying goal is a christian based lifestyle, even if that is not quite what is best for you.

Your mileage may vary.

Who Knew? wrote: ↑Thu May 10, 2018 11:31 am That's a tough one. There are so many out there, and it can be hard to find one who works. First, if you are comfortable, ask around for referrals from friends. Then I would check and see if they have any published writings like on blogs and such. Most will talk about the issues they deal the most with. Finally, check your insurance website to see if any are covered. Even if they are not, you can check with your insurance to see if you can bill out of network and get some reimbursement.

It might take a couple of visits, but most therapists offer a free consultation. You can also just go see them. At worst they don't work out, but you can get an idea of the atmosphere.

Thanks for the ideas. I've only ever been to the one, and apparently I was rather clumsy about it. She said it was obvious I'd never done that kind of thing before not that it was a bad thing, but I was really moving in uncharted territory.

MoPag wrote: ↑Fri May 11, 2018 8:15 am Sorry about your therapist that died. That sucks.

I wasn't surprised. She was diagnosed with cancer while I was seeing her and it was one of the reasons I left. I didn't feel comfortable talking to someone about my problems and my loss of faith in god while she, a wife and mother, had a bad prognosis. I couldn't find her obit for a long time though, and it's funny how much sadness and loss I felt when I knew for sure. She was a nice lady.

Just This Guy wrote: ↑Fri May 11, 2018 2:16 pm Only thing I would say is be cautious of faith based therapists. Even general christian counseling services, I have had poor luck with them. Their underlying goal is a christian based lifestyle, even if that is not quite what is best for you.

Your mileage may vary.

Yeah, the one I did see didn't have a clue about mormonism. I'd seen her about 18 months when I realized she didn't know anything about garments. Nothing at all. She wasn't too bad about pushing a christian lifestyle, but I felt like she was...not understanding where I was coming from and where I wanted to go. She was great for the postpartum depression though.

Red Ryder wrote: ↑Thu May 10, 2018 1:02 pm Pull up a chair and let us NOMmies be your therapist until you find one.

What's bothering you MM?

Tempting, but how will I know when our time is up?

Red Ryder wrote: ↑Thu May 10, 2018 1:02 pm Pull up a chair and let us NOMmies be your therapist until you find one.

Would you recommend a campfire dance first Dr. Ryder or should we go straight to the exorcism?

I've had good experiences with therapists who were licensed social workers or clinical psychologists. They usually come with a bag of tricks I never would have thought to include on a checklist.

As far as any religious turmoil goes, these four questions by Byron Katie are useful to consider:

1. Is it true?
2. Can you absolutely know that it's true?
3. How do you react, what happens, when you believe that thought?
4. Who would you be without that thought?