NOM

...I just point them out."



This is probably something that everyone already figured out, but it's been so helpful to me of late: placing responsibility where it belongs.

I sort of ended up going full on mama bear and became estranged (kids and I) from my ILs. With very good cause no one can argue with. However, Spouseman feels that the parameters of reconciliation are too extreme (they are not).

My response, "if you have a problem with this situation, take it up with those who caused it." Game changer. I refuse to take responsibility for things I am not the cause of. He hasn't complained again. Might eventually go over there I suppose, but that's his choice.

Later, different day, I said something off hand about the funding of city creek and use of tithing funds. Also $19k temple rugs. Spouseman felt it was uncalled for. Well, teasingly I provided the title track, in which I don't make the double standards. A laugh and "good point". Responsibility sits with the church for their behavior, or the ILs, or whoever, but not me as messenger.

I felt The Spirit™ reading your post.

Enoch Witty wrote: ↑Thu May 10, 2018 11:55 am I felt The Spirit™ reading your post.

You're welcome!

Thoughtful wrote: ↑Sat May 05, 2018 10:47 pm This is probably something that everyone already figured out, but it's been so helpful to me of late: placing responsibility where it belongs.

Unfortunately, it appears to be the human condition to find fault where it doesn't lay and overlook it where it does. People may "know" they need to evaluate where the problem originates, but confirmation bias is something I don't believe human beings "overcome." I think it's something that a person always has to make an effort to avoid, no matter how intelligent or aware they may be.