Diffenences between NOM and StayLDS?

[TheRoadSouth]

It seems that both places can be an oasis and refuge for those like us who are part-or non-believers trying to stay in the church, but are there any fundamental differences in what discussions are on or off limits? Other differences? Are some of you on both boards?

Thanks!

[moksha]

1. I think NOM is more active than StayLDS.
2. NOM supports a wider variety of opinion than StayLDS.

[Jeffret]

Here's the way I've long looked at it: Consider the most devout, true believing members on one side. On the other side consider the most certain disbelievers. The Mormons and the anti-Mormons. Consider between them a great ridge. Up there right near the top two groups try to balance. You can't balance right in the middle so the StayLDS folks are just down the ridge towards the believers trying to find a balancing point. On the opposite side, the NOM folks are closer to the disbelievers trying to maintain some balance towards the ridgeline.

Historically, where NOM sits between the ridge and the disbelievers has varied at different times. In the earliest times, LDSman tried to steer it right to the ridge, and maybe even where StayLDS ended up. But there were also some very vocal negative voices in some of those earlier years, who drove it more towards the disbelievers. At one point some of them split off into other more anti-Mormon forums and NOM hung out closer to the ridge. With the many issues the Church has faced these past years and with the current management of NOM, the forum hangs out more towards the disbelievers side.

One thing NOM has never really tolerated is preaching. It hasn't put up with believers who want to bear their testimony or preach about the Church. It hasn't accepted people who leave Mormonism for a new religion and want to preach why everyone should join their new religion. People are welcome to share what they think and believe but there has traditionally been little tolerance for preaching, converting, and demanding.

[Red Ryder]

Historically, where NOM sits between the ridge and the disbelievers has varied at different times. In the earliest times, LDSman tried to steer it right to the ridge, and maybe even where StayLDS ended up. But there were also some very vocal negative voices in some of those earlier years, who drove it more towards the disbelievers. At one point some of them split off into other more anti-Mormon forums and NOM hung out closer to the ridge. With the many issues the Church has faced these past years and with the current management of NOM, the forum hangs out more towards the disbelievers side.

I think this is the most accurate reflection of the shift in NOM over the years.

Many of us here went through a faith transition of sorts and now are simply married to Mormons.

Otherwise we would be long gone!

[Silver Girl]

Historically, where NOM sits between the ridge and the disbelievers has varied at different times. In the earliest times, LDSman tried to steer it right to the ridge, and maybe even where StayLDS ended up. But there were also some very vocal negative voices in some of those earlier years, who drove it more towards the disbelievers. At one point some of them split off into other more anti-Mormon forums and NOM hung out closer to the ridge. With the many issues the Church has faced these past years and with the current management of NOM, the forum hangs out more towards the disbelievers side.

I think this is the most accurate reflection of the shift in NOM over the years.

Many of us here went through a faith transition of sorts and now are simply married to Mormons.

Otherwise we would be long gone!

I agree with this - I'm not married to a member (THANK YOU, Jesus!), but when i first joined the old NOM, there were still a few who tried to navigate the middle ground (very few). That had been my goal when I signed up, but there were many things I did not know, and I'd not yet even heard of the CES letter. The middle way becomes even more impossible when there's a huge amount of previously unknown information to weigh down your shelf, and your shelf is already creaking. Within a few months, it seemed most people were no longer in the boat. At least not the LDS boat. Some lost complete belief in God, and some still believed in a deity but worshipped elsewhere, or just didn't go for organized religion any longer.

I'd be interested in how many became NOM (and maybe went even further to the other side) based on the lies, vs the culture, vs examining the idea of God and losing faith in a deity?

[Jeffret]

When LDSman started the forum, he had a vision that is probably more along the lines of what StayLDS is. He advocated a Middle Way, where people could acknowledge all of the problems in the Church but still find meaningful interaction in participating. Realistically, though, there probably haven't been very many who really sought after that Middle Way. In the early days of the forum I was certainly one of them. When I finally left the Church in 2005, I abandoned the Middle Way though I've still tried to support those who want to remain in, those who are out, or those who are transitioning.

There have been some others that truly support a Middle Way. Ultimately nothing is permanent, as some of them, including LDSman and Peggy, have unfortunately demonstrated. Or others who lose interest. If they get the chance, most end up leaving the Church.

I can't think of anyone who has really advocated the Middle Way for quite some time. Maybe I'm missing someone. No one hear comes to mind. On the previous incarnation of the forum I wasn't aware of anyone for the last several years. I believe it was easier to attempt to follow the Middle Way in the earlier days of the forum. In more recent years, the Church has made numerous public missteps. As they've gotten more out of touch with the rest of society, it's become harder to argue that the Church is a beneficial place to raise a family.

[Hagoth]

StayLDS is heavily moderated. NOM is loosely moderated. We mostly draw the line at things like nasty name calling of GAs, over-the-top mocking of the temple ordinances, homophobia, racism, sexism and other forms of bigotry, trolling and bullying, heavy cursing and NSFW images. As far as disbelief and general lack of reverence for the church and it's officers, venting is permitted if not encouraged. I don't think anyone has ever been given the boot from NOM 2.0.

[Hermey]

I made a grand total of 26 posts over there (under a different user name) before I moved beyond what they trying to accomplish. With each passing day, I found my ability to "StayLDS" decreasing. I felt like I didn't fit in anywhere. When I came here, I changed my user name to reflect that. I was like a misfit elf. What I discovered was that NOM was a much better fit.

FunFact....my BIL was one of the original people running the site. He's since resigned along with my sister and their six kids. They're doing great!

To me, StayLDS is kinda like this....

[GoodBoy]

To me, StayLDS is kinda like this....

Hahaha!!

[Archimedes]

I have always thought that NOM was more of a transitory place, a lot of participants are "trapped" in Mormonism by community or family relationships, and are looking for a way to cope.

Take the history of actively involved NOMs over the years. There are only a handful of people left from the days of LDSMan #1. That is your evidence of the transitionary nature of NOM.

As one of those early participants and an original founder of the old Foyer, I can testify to you that NOM was never like, and was not intended to be like StayLDS by the original founders.

That and $4.50 will get you a froofy foamy coffee beverage from the stand down the street.