NOM

The last few years, as I struggled to strengthen, keep, and then regain a testimony of the church I had a difficult time attending. This was especially difficult the last year or so. After I told my wife I didn’t believe, and finally acknowledged it to myself, it was very uncomfortable to sit and listen, be expected to bear testimony, or teach EQ lessons.

One weekend per month, I have duty with the Army Reserve. The last year or so, I’ve looked forward to my Army weekends - I didn’t have to make excuses for why I didn’t want to go to church - I was working. I didn’t attend training in March since I was changing units and had been excused. Today was my first Sunday doing Army things instead of Second Saturday things. Other weekends I’ve done work around the house, gone to an exmo meetup, spent time with wife and kids, gone for a drive, a walk, etc. I’ve come to really enjoy that time.

Now that I’ve had that time, I find myself resenting the Army today. When I have these weekends I go 12 days between days off since my normal job is M-F. All of a sudden, this isn’t an escape from an uncomfortable situation, but an imposition on my time. There are still things I enjoy about it, so this sort of took me by surprise.

Make sure you PMCS the vehicles and mop the gym floor before you go home! (As I wrap myself in my DD214 blanket).

Thinking of all the fun I could have had with my non member comrades on those weekends makes me sad I was such a prude. However we always seemed to have drill weekend during General Conference, so at least there is that.

I have a year left before I’m eligible to retire from the reserves, so I’m not leaving anytime soon. I will admit, the evenings were more fun this time as I go out and don’t have a reason to not have a drink with friends. New unit, new friends.