Meilingkie is divorcing
Posted: Sat Apr 21, 2018 1:18 pm
Last few months have been tense in the Meilingkie home.
DW found a new friend online in a game, and he happened to live quite nearby.
So she chatted, bonded, and felt very happy.
He helped her cope with all the stress caused by my faithtransition, and he started her thinking.
About rebooting her life.
Quitting Church, quitting her stifling mother, quitting toxic relationships in general.
We met, at an Ikea 2 months ago. A nice chap, Indo which means his father was a Dutch colonial and his mother an Indonesian local.
A 47 year old granddad, and very high ranking civil servant in the Dutch Department of Justice.
Indo's are something special here, and when you call some-one Indo it's not indonesian, but a mixed guy. With a very specific subculture.
My wife's first boyfriend was Indo too. a BIL is too. So well......
One day she'd been chatting with him and felt compelled to tell he liberated her, in the sense he gave her the tools to express herself.
The courage to confront demons of her past.
Something I seem to have failed to do.
She said: With him I need 5 words, with you I need 5 pages to explain the same feeling.
You could say the writing was on the wall.
3 weeks ago she met him alone at Rotterdam Cityhall, and they had a drink, well multiple ones to be more exact.
Coffee, and Alcohol as well.
And she came home, happy and giddy like a schoolgirl.
Clearly in love.
Eastersunday came, we didn't attend GC, we only attended 2 times the entire year, and she proposed me to reach out to other people, and she'd arranged a date with a widowed female friend of mine. The daughter of very near friends where I have lunch every monday.
We met, talked, laughed, and had a blast. But both felt eerily awkward.
But soon she apped me, she would like to meet again soon for lunch.
She also sent me a detailed list what her future spouse should be like.
Why, because we haven't met in 2 decades? I didn't understand the odd message.
Anyway.
We celebrated DW's 40th birthday on Saturday last week, the next day she said she would tell me her plans for the future soon.
Well, they came out a few hours later, like lightning from a clear sky.
Divorce, I want a full reboot.
No more Marriage in my life
No more Church in my life
No more Mother in my life
No more Siblings in my life where possible
Total and utter abandonment of all she ever did and knew.
This afternoon I visited my parents, and bought a bed for me in their spare bedroom.
Going back to live with them after we get the divorce final.
So this is it then.
The dam burst at last, but I'm swept away in the current as well.
A full life-reboot, not that I wanted it, but it's forced upon me.
Still, my Monday-lunch family asked me to attend the lady of the house's 79th birthday next Friday so I can meet her 2 granddaughters and see my 42YO lunchdate again in a low-key manner.
When God closes a door, He opens another the saying goes.
It's all in all strangely exhilarating, as well as bloody scary.
DW found a new friend online in a game, and he happened to live quite nearby.
So she chatted, bonded, and felt very happy.
He helped her cope with all the stress caused by my faithtransition, and he started her thinking.
About rebooting her life.
Quitting Church, quitting her stifling mother, quitting toxic relationships in general.
We met, at an Ikea 2 months ago. A nice chap, Indo which means his father was a Dutch colonial and his mother an Indonesian local.
A 47 year old granddad, and very high ranking civil servant in the Dutch Department of Justice.
Indo's are something special here, and when you call some-one Indo it's not indonesian, but a mixed guy. With a very specific subculture.
My wife's first boyfriend was Indo too. a BIL is too. So well......
One day she'd been chatting with him and felt compelled to tell he liberated her, in the sense he gave her the tools to express herself.
The courage to confront demons of her past.
Something I seem to have failed to do.
She said: With him I need 5 words, with you I need 5 pages to explain the same feeling.
You could say the writing was on the wall.
3 weeks ago she met him alone at Rotterdam Cityhall, and they had a drink, well multiple ones to be more exact.
Coffee, and Alcohol as well.
And she came home, happy and giddy like a schoolgirl.
Clearly in love.
Eastersunday came, we didn't attend GC, we only attended 2 times the entire year, and she proposed me to reach out to other people, and she'd arranged a date with a widowed female friend of mine. The daughter of very near friends where I have lunch every monday.
We met, talked, laughed, and had a blast. But both felt eerily awkward.
But soon she apped me, she would like to meet again soon for lunch.
She also sent me a detailed list what her future spouse should be like.
Why, because we haven't met in 2 decades? I didn't understand the odd message.
Anyway.
We celebrated DW's 40th birthday on Saturday last week, the next day she said she would tell me her plans for the future soon.
Well, they came out a few hours later, like lightning from a clear sky.
Divorce, I want a full reboot.
No more Marriage in my life
No more Church in my life
No more Mother in my life
No more Siblings in my life where possible
Total and utter abandonment of all she ever did and knew.
This afternoon I visited my parents, and bought a bed for me in their spare bedroom.
Going back to live with them after we get the divorce final.
So this is it then.
The dam burst at last, but I'm swept away in the current as well.
A full life-reboot, not that I wanted it, but it's forced upon me.
Still, my Monday-lunch family asked me to attend the lady of the house's 79th birthday next Friday so I can meet her 2 granddaughters and see my 42YO lunchdate again in a low-key manner.
When God closes a door, He opens another the saying goes.
It's all in all strangely exhilarating, as well as bloody scary.
