NOM

notforprophet wrote: ↑Mon Apr 02, 2018 8:46 amSeeing my friends and family burrow deeper and deeper into the shit pile fills me sadness and rage.

notforprophet wrote: ↑Mon Apr 02, 2018 8:46 am I just came here to rant. Please enjoy or ignore as it suits you. Thanks for being here guys.

I noticed the GC gushing on Facebook and man did it ever depress me.

If ever there was a week when the Post, Ex, Lapsed, Mormons could find some hope and seemed to have the momentum to created the pressure necessary to force change in the church to address some of the issues we would like to see made in the church it was these past 2 weeks. If one is to believe all of the hype elicited from the various public marches, petitions and bad sexual abuse news regarding the LDS Church coupled with a near disaster PR response these last few weeks from the church, one could logically conclude that the church is on the ropes and is in the throws of its death rattle.

And yet within the believer camp, nothing could be further from the truth. Like it or not, the church has built an almost impenetrable wall around its core 29.6% believing, tithing paying membership. Nothing seemed to have gotten through this wall. If any evidence to this reality is needed one only has to look at this past week. Seemingly, all of the bad news and PR disasters that we on the outside see as fatal blows ended up being not much more than a small blimp on the believers radar screen.

The collective Mormon core, heard the bad press, saw the marches and took it all in as white noise, part of the greater background attacks against the church that they love. Instead of this moment bringing pressure on the church and creating an opportunity for change the collective church shrugged it off and is moving on as if nothing ever happened.

All is well in Zion

Red Ryder wrote: ↑Mon Apr 02, 2018 10:55 am Nobody ever warned us that leaving the church mentally can be just as enslaving as staying in. Nobody ever warned us that becoming disaffected will waste just as much time as being a TBM with a leadership calling. Nobody ever warned us that we suffer from PTSD like symptoms because we can't exit completely from Mormonism.

AllieOop wrote: ↑Mon Apr 02, 2018 11:05 am Like I stated earlier, it has been 8 years since I stopped attending (and had stopped believing a couple of years prior to that). But...what you describe above it so true. It doesn't help that two of my kids are still very TBM. I honestly believe I could leave Mormonism behind (almost...) if it were not for that.

None of this is easy. But, what I hold onto is that I am blissfully happy compared to all the many, many years when I believed. That's progress and I have to remind myself of that.

AllieOop wrote: ↑Mon Apr 02, 2018 11:05 am

Red Ryder wrote: ↑Mon Apr 02, 2018 10:55 am Nobody ever warned us that leaving the church mentally can be just as enslaving as staying in. Nobody ever warned us that becoming disaffected will waste just as much time as being a TBM with a leadership calling. Nobody ever warned us that we suffer from PTSD like symptoms because we can't exit completely from Mormonism.

This....1000 times this....

Solution: The solution is very simple but extremely difficult to implement. You need to turn your mind off to Mormonism completely. Turn it off to thinking about Mormonism from ALL sides. Active believing Mormonism. Click it off! Nuanced Mormonism. Click it off! NOM discussions? Click... Exmo reddit. Click... Conference memes? Click. Mormon news articles about sexual predators and their basement interior design? CLICK IT OFF! Click it all off! If you don't, feeding the disaffected mormon mind creates an ADDICTION that's many times worse than wearing garments on a hot sticky humid sunny day in the south!

Nobody ever warned us that leaving the church mentally can be just as enslaving as staying in. Nobody ever warned us that becoming disaffected will waste just as much time as being a TBM with a leadership calling. Nobody ever warned us that we suffer from PTSD like symptoms because we can't exit completely from Mormonism.

What should we do? We should train our brains to become indifferent to Mormonism. Treat it like the Amish or your catholic neighbors. Do you care what your catholic neighbors did this last weekend? Do we care what the Amish are doing these days? He'll NO!

Going through a faith transition is mentally exhausting and extremely difficult. The best thing we can do is to give it a time limit, define new boundaries, and move on with our new lives and new found freedom and time. Give yourself 30 days to set new mental boundaries. Every time something mormon related pops into your mind or a TBM comment drives you crazy, ask yourself "why should I even be thinking about Mormonism"? See what happens as you disengage from all things mormon related. You'll find you will make new space between your ears that you can fill with anything you want. That's the true beauty and freedom of a faith transition.

Corsair wrote: ↑Mon Apr 02, 2018 11:39 am

AllieOop wrote: ↑Mon Apr 02, 2018 11:05 am

Red Ryder wrote: ↑Mon Apr 02, 2018 10:55 am Nobody ever warned us that leaving the church mentally can be just as enslaving as staying in. Nobody ever warned us that becoming disaffected will waste just as much time as being a TBM with a leadership calling. Nobody ever warned us that we suffer from PTSD like symptoms because we can't exit completely from Mormonism.

This....1000 times this....

I have to consider that keeping this forum online just might be contributing to the problem. Perhaps this is what our dear, departed Saint Thayne was concerned about during the NOM Dark Ages of September 2016. I'm not planning to shut it down, but proclaiming the path of Indifference and Disengagement is the best way for the health of many people.

moksha wrote: ↑Mon Apr 02, 2018 8:49 am Here is a fun sing-along video to help calm and relax you:

https://weirdalma.bandcamp.com/track/yo ... h-this-cob

AllieOop wrote: ↑Mon Apr 02, 2018 12:08 pm Actually for me, this forum keeps me sane and gives me tremendous support. The time I spend here is a positive and helps to reinforce knowing that I've made the right choice.

Coming here helps remind me of the progress I've made and that there are many who are struggling, who are in need of support, and who are on the same path I'm on.

AllieOop wrote: ↑Mon Apr 02, 2018 12:08 pm

Corsair wrote: ↑Mon Apr 02, 2018 11:39 am

AllieOop wrote: ↑Mon Apr 02, 2018 11:05 am
This....1000 times this....

I have to consider that keeping this forum online just might be contributing to the problem. Perhaps this is what our dear, departed Saint Thayne was concerned about during the NOM Dark Ages of September 2016. I'm not planning to shut it down, but proclaiming the path of Indifference and Disengagement is the best way for the health of many people.

Actually for me, this forum keeps me sane and gives me tremendous support. The time I spend here is a positive and helps to reinforce knowing that I've made the right choice.

Coming here helps remind me of the progress I've made and that there are many who are struggling, who are in need of support, and who are on the same path I'm on.

sparky wrote: ↑Mon Apr 02, 2018 1:27 pm

AllieOop wrote: ↑Mon Apr 02, 2018 12:08 pm

Corsair wrote: ↑Mon Apr 02, 2018 11:39 am

I have to consider that keeping this forum online just might be contributing to the problem. Perhaps this is what our dear, departed Saint Thayne was concerned about during the NOM Dark Ages of September 2016. I'm not planning to shut it down, but proclaiming the path of Indifference and Disengagement is the best way for the health of many people.

Actually for me, this forum keeps me sane and gives me tremendous support. The time I spend here is a positive and helps to reinforce knowing that I've made the right choice.

Coming here helps remind me of the progress I've made and that there are many who are struggling, who are in need of support, and who are on the same path I'm on.

I strongly second this. Most of the time I'm able to practice the detachment that RR describes pretty well and just be totally indifferent to anything churchy, even though I still attend weekly with DW. But there are occasions (mostly conference, weddings, and deaths) when Mormonism just shoves itself in your face, and the dosage is just too high to deal with without support. I have no one else in my life to turn to in these moments who will understand. I come here, blow off some steam and make fun of the church for a few days, and then I can ignore it all again until the next disruption. Maybe unhealthy, but it has worked for me for nearly three years now.

AllieOop wrote: ↑Mon Apr 02, 2018 11:05 am

Red Ryder wrote: ↑Mon Apr 02, 2018 10:55 am Nobody ever warned us that leaving the church mentally can be just as enslaving as staying in. Nobody ever warned us that becoming disaffected will waste just as much time as being a TBM with a leadership calling. Nobody ever warned us that we suffer from PTSD like symptoms because we can't exit completely from Mormonism.

This....1000 times this....

Such profound words, RR.

Like I stated earlier, it has been 8 years since I stopped attending (and had stopped believing a couple of years prior to that). But...what you describe above it so true. It doesn't help that two of my kids are still very TBM. I honestly believe I could leave Mormonism behind (almost...) if it were not for that.

None of this is easy. But, what I hold onto is that I am blissfully happy compared to all the many, many years when I believed. That's progress and I have to remind myself of that.

Corsair wrote: ↑Mon Apr 02, 2018 11:39 am Perhaps this is what our dear, departed Saint Thayne was concerned about during the NOM Dark Ages of September 2016.

AllieOop wrote: ↑Mon Apr 02, 2018 11:05 am

Red Ryder wrote: ↑Mon Apr 02, 2018 10:55 am Nobody ever warned us that leaving the church mentally can be just as enslaving as staying in. Nobody ever warned us that becoming disaffected will waste just as much time as being a TBM with a leadership calling. Nobody ever warned us that we suffer from PTSD like symptoms because we can't exit completely from Mormonism.

This....1000 times this....

Such profound words, RR.

Like I stated earlier, it has been 8 years since I stopped attending (and had stopped believing a couple of years prior to that). But...what you describe above it so true. It doesn't help that two of my kids are still very TBM. I honestly believe I could leave Mormonism behind (almost...) if it were not for that.

None of this is easy. But, what I hold onto is that I am blissfully happy compared to all the many, many years when I believed. That's progress and I have to remind myself of that.

Red Ryder wrote: ↑Mon Apr 02, 2018 10:55 am Here's the problem and a recommended solution. Ready for this?

Problem: Your eyes have been opened, you have awaken from the stupor of Mormonism, and you now see it for what it really is. The problem with "this problem" is that it awakens your mind to the stupidity of things like religious underwear, temple recommend interviews with your neighbor the dentist, unrighteousness dominion, Facebook pandering, ignorant opinions, and Prophet hero worship. Your awakening brings forward the crazy lunacy of Mormonism and leaves you feeling like your living in the twighlight zone. You are! We are! It's so easy to see now that your eyes have been opened! It will drive you bonkers! You will lose your mind if you continue to stay in this zone. It will eat your soul, crush your spirit, depress your appetites and motivation. It will hollow you out like an empty 10 lb. can of Bishop's storehouse peanut butter! Your friends and family will notice your new found depression and fatigue and squarely blame you for the loss of the spirit. They will feel bad for you, look at you with disdain, and whisper behind your back! They will see your new found awakening as a stranglehold around your soul by the Dark Demon of Destruction, the Man Behind All Evil, yeah, even the devil himself; SATAN! To them, there will be nothing you can do or say that will take away this new pathetic existence you find yourself in other than to repent, shut your mind off, and return to the fold.

Solution: The solution is very simple but extremely difficult to implement. You need to turn your mind off to Mormonism completely. Turn it off to thinking about Mormonism from ALL sides. Active believing Mormonism. Click it off! Nuanced Mormonism. Click it off! NOM discussions? Click... Exmo reddit. Click... Conference memes? Click. Mormon news articles about sexual predators and their basement interior design? CLICK IT OFF! Click it all off! If you don't, feeding the disaffected mormon mind creates an ADDICTION that's many times worse than wearing garments on a hot sticky humid sunny day in the south!

Nobody ever warned us that leaving the church mentally can be just as enslaving as staying in. Nobody ever warned us that becoming disaffected will waste just as much time as being a TBM with a leadership calling. Nobody ever warned us that we suffer from PTSD like symptoms because we can't exit completely from Mormonism.

What should we do? We should train our brains to become indifferent to Mormonism. Treat it like the Amish or your catholic neighbors. Do you care what your catholic neighbors did this last weekend? Do we care what the Amish are doing these days? He'll NO!

Going through a faith transition is mentally exhausting and extremely difficult. The best thing we can do is to give it a time limit, define new boundaries, and move on with our new lives and new found freedom and time. Give yourself 30 days to set new mental boundaries. Every time something mormon related pops into your mind or a TBM comment drives you crazy, ask yourself "why should I even be thinking about Mormonism"? See what happens as you disengage from all things mormon related. You'll find you will make new space between your ears that you can fill with anything you want. That's the true beauty and freedom of a faith transition.