Had an awesome discussion with TBM DW last night

[IT_Veteran]

Okay folks, I'm so incredibly happy and hopeful this morning, I just feel the need to share. It might end up being fairly long, I apologize in advance. I had an incredible discussion with my DW last night that lasted all through our drive and date last night. All told, it lasted about four hours.

We talked about the Harold B. Lee quote about less valiant spirits receiving non-white, non-American, or disabled bodies. She was disgusted with it and actually told me there's a lot of stuff he said and wrote that she doesn't like.

We talked about the November LGBTQ policy and the problems she's had with that since it was released. She has a transgender cousin that's had a very difficult time being accepted by family at all (my wife invited him last year to come and stay with us for a visit).

We talked about where she's at with her own research of the issues. She still believes, but is also seeing a lot that concerns her. She told me that she feels like she's sitting on the roof of a house and she can see everything she's been taught on one side, and everything she's learning on the other. She's not sure at this point where she'll end up (though she thinks it will be on the faithful side) but she is starting to understand and be okay with both points of view.

Most importantly, for me, she brought up the kids. She told me that she recognizes that all of this information is out there and it will do them no good to try and keep them from it. She wants to bring up these discussions with both of us present and just have a conversation around it. Most importantly, she wants them to research and decide for themselves.

I am so unbelievably happy right now. I know that she has not decided to leave TSCC and might never do so. But she wants to understand me. She told me that she knows I'm not coming back to TSCC, but that she wants to know what I believe and understand where I'm coming from regardless. Not so she can refute it or bear testimony to me, but just to know me better.

I'm a very lucky guy.

[Corsair]

I'm a very lucky guy.

You are an extremely lucky guy. My wife and I are at a healthy armistice over the church.

[crossmyheart]

Sounds like a step forward. Just saying from experience- now go have a date that does not include conversation about the church at all. I pushed a little too hard, too often when my world was crashing all around me. It pushed away my DH for a while and my family is still a little burned around the edges. Giver her some space and do normal every day stuff to let her process.

Can't say it enough- take it slow...

[IT_Veteran]

That's good advice, thank you. I will definitely keep that in mind. Lucky for us, I have a work trip to DC next week and will be bringing her along and then staying a few extra days for our anniversary.

[Red Ryder]

Sounds like a step forward. Just saying from experience- now go have a date that does not include conversation about the church at all. I pushed a little too hard, too often when my world was crashing all around me. It pushed away my DH for a while and my family is still a little burned around the edges. Giver her some space and do normal every day stuff to let her process.

Can't say it enough- take it slow...

Exactly! Let it marinate and focus your energy and emotional capital on HER.

Go out of your way to be happy and noticeably resilient to prove the church isn't the glue that holds your life together.

[MalcolmVillager]

So very cool ITV. I am a few pages ahead of you and had to do the pauses that Corsair and RR mention. It worked out and we are progressing. I had to do the start/stop, push/pause dance for about 18 months before she finally started to create her own momentum. I have even wondered if I would have to throw on the brakes a bit at times.

Who knows where the journey will lead but I like where we are going currently.

Good luck!

[wanderer]

Okay folks, I'm so incredibly happy and hopeful this morning, I just feel the need to share. It might end up being fairly long, I apologize in advance. I had an incredible discussion with my DW last night that lasted all through our drive and date last night. All told, it lasted about four hours. . . .

I am so unbelievably happy right now. I know that she has not decided to leave TSCC and might never do so. But she wants to understand me. She told me that she knows I'm not coming back to TSCC, but that she wants to know what I believe and understand where I'm coming from regardless. Not so she can refute it or bear testimony to me, but just to know me better.

I'm a very lucky guy.

I am so happy for you, IT Veteran! I second the idea of just showing her extra love now and not talking about the church for a bit after such an intense and important discussion for her. Good luck

[deacon blues]

This sounds good. I'm happy when people can at least discuss issues, and be comfortable with them.