Graduation from Mormonism in 10 steps?

[Red Ryder]

Can we brainstorm and come up with a solid 10 step list of things needed to do to mentally graduate from Mormonism?

Here's the rules for this post: Rather than verbally agree or echo what someone else said by stating such agreement, take a minute and self evaluate what 10 things you have done or need to still do to mentally move on from Mormonism and list them out. It's a great exercise to think through your thoughts. I'll consolidate them into a longer complete list.

Here's my list.

1. Accept it's not what it claims to be.
2. Accept that it still works for some people.
3. Take the good, leave the rest, and find your new self.
4. Become who you want to be.
5. Learn to disengage.
6. Accept that truth is illusionary. People will find and accept their own version of truth to fit their own version of reality.
7. Regardless of your distance from the church, you will still always be mormon in some form or fashion. The culture has been bread inside you.
8. Laughter is the best form of medicine. Learn to laugh at yourself and the church.
9. Mormon authority is only as strong as you allow it to be.
10. Don't talk religion or politics with your friends and family.

[wtfluff]

• Most, if not all of the guilt and shame perpetuated in mormonism is only used to manipulate you into obedience. Drop it to improve your mental health instantly.

[Mormorrisey]

That's a great list, RR, and much of how you and others have framed these over the last few years I've participated on this board has helped me and my relationships immensely. I thank you and others, and I add two.

1)Embrace ambiguity. I've been reading excerpts from Peter Enns' The Sin of Certainty and this has greatly enhanced my worldview. If I'm not certain about ANYTHING I believe, it's ok. I have lots of time, nothing but time, to evaluate and re-evaluate my own beliefs, and I can choose to reject or accept anything as part of that belief system.

2)Be calm. While I'm more apathetic than calm, taking a step back and not reacting to anything I regard as mormon stupidity has enriched my life. Until I'm not calm. Then, look out.

[Corsair]

You should have been a presenter at Sunstone on Sunday.

[crossmyheart]

1. Get offended by a member's actions or church policy.
2. Start looking for answers and come across bloggernacle which then leads you to NOM, Mormon Think, CES letter, etc.
3. Start teaching or bringing up what you have learned in class at church.
4. Get released from calling.
5.Attend less frequently and start to realize second-Saturday is pretty awesome.
6. Read more via books from Amazon and online groups.
7. Stop wearing garments, let recommend expire. Realize bad things happen to everyone with or without garments or temple recommends.
8. Look around and see that 99.999999% of the rest of the world functions just fine without mormonism.
9. Take up a new activity or hobby that replaces the culture and community that was previously occupied by the church.
10. Do your best to live a good life and be happy and show the church members that there is deep, fulfilling happiness without their religion.

[redjay]

get a little embarrassed at some of the quackery you used to accept as truth

get pissed at all the sex you never had as a younger person/get over the fact that you missed a whole lot of sex as a younger person

[FiveFingerMnemonic]

get a little embarrassed at some of the quackery you used to accept as truth

get pissed at all the sex you never had as a younger person/get over the fact that you missed a whole lot of sex as a younger person

[emoji16][emoji16][emoji16][emoji16]

[RubinHighlander]

• Most, if not all of the guilt and shame perpetuated in mormonism is only used to manipulate you into obedience. Drop it to improve your mental health instantly.

This should be number one! No more angel and devil! No more men with pretend authority to mess with your non-existent pass into non-existent super VIP heaven.

2. Embrace the freedom to think for yourself and use it to think critically about all the things in your life, especially all institutions that claim you need them in order to be safe or happy.

[MoPag]

We grew up hearing that we belonged to the one and only true church. We were taught that we had all the truth and everyone else were just poor, lost souls yearning for the happiness we had. I really believed this and I was very arrogant about my beliefs. As my beliefs changed during my faith transition, I had to work really hard to let go of the arrogance that the church had instilled in me. I started to see that belief is very personal and individual. Something that works for one person could be disastrous for another. People don't have to have a "testimony" or "non-testimony" of the same things I do. And that's okay. In fact, that is beautiful.

My step I would like to add:
All of our paths traveled through Mormonism. And now that we are free, we can chose the path that best suits us. Let go of the arrogance the church instilled in you about beliefs that are different from your own. Respect all paths and the people who travel them.

[deacon blues]

We grew up hearing that we belonged to the one and only true church. We were taught that we had all the truth and everyone else were just poor, lost souls yearning for the happiness we had. I really believed this and I was very arrogant about my beliefs. As my beliefs changed during my faith transition, I had to work really hard to let go of the arrogance that the church had instilled in me. I started to see that belief is very personal and individual. Something that works for one person could be disastrous for another. People don't have to have a "testimony" or "non-testimony" of the same things I do. And that's okay. In fact, that is beautiful.

My step I would like to add:
All of our paths traveled through Mormonism. And now that we are free, we can chose the path that best suits us. Let go of the arrogance the church instilled in you about beliefs that are different from your own. Respect all paths and the people who travel them.

This IS beautiful. Discuss ideas like we do here on NOM. I don't expect everyone to agree with me. The childish, prideful part of my personality gets strokes from others agreeing with me, but truth loving part of my personality learns from well considered, new ideas.