NOM

I’ve been on an archeological dig on the way back machine and came across this Post Mo Metamap. After reading through the instructions I went through the map and would consider myself fluctuating between #8 and #9. I think that’s rather healthy considering I still have one toe in the Church. Where do you see yourself?

http://web.archive.org/web/200712130531 ... o_Metamap/

Instructions:

In using this diagram, print out a copy of the diagram, then using a red pen, start in the top left corner in either the (1) Pre-convert or (2) BiC rectangles. Look at what arrows leave your starting point, and use your red pen to mark the one or several arrows that were consistent with your personal experience.

Continue that process right on through the diagram, until you have 'personalised' it. Hopefully, you will have greater clarity about the journey you have been on, where it might lead, and has helped render you a more confident traveller.

I think i am stuck at #6.

Thanks for posting, I’ve not seen this before. I made it to 8/9 already, but just started 5. I was very careful not to do any research around the church or it’s history because I was so worried about “anti-“ literature. Now that I’m starting to do the research I’m hitting all those intermediate steps I think.

This is great. Thanks so much for posting that. I'm going to print this off and do it later, but for now, I am stuck on #10 where it mentions finding a new community. Really been missing that lately and wondering if I'll ever find a community I truly relate to (other than online I mean). I hope I can one day.

I'm thinking I'm at #8 now (for the most part).

mentally at 8 - but not out to all parents and still attending, so part 7?

Stuck at 7

Nice find Red Ryder!

I followed the BIC -> 1 -> 2 -> 5 -> 6 -> 5 -> 7 path, and now I feel like I've been bouncing between 5, 6, and 7 for two straight years. Some days I feel almost resigned to just staying where I am. Other days, I feel like I can't get out fast enough.

Yup. Somewhere between 8 and 9. The current equilibrium I have with my wife, family, and ward keeps me there.

græy wrote: ↑Fri Feb 23, 2018 8:49 am Nice find Red Ryder!

I followed the BIC -> 1 -> 2 -> 5 -> 6 -> 5 -> 7 path, and now I feel like I've been bouncing between 5, 6, and 7 for two straight years. Some days I feel almost resigned to just staying where I am. Other days, I feel like I can't get out fast enough.

I tumbled in that 5, 6, 7 cycle for a few years myself. Opening up and talking with like minded people and creating new friendships has helped to end it. It takes time and an ability to become indifferent. (Corsair is right again....)

I don't know. I do not really see my path that much in this chart. My first memories of church is being already in #2. So, I must have gone into #2 about five years old, so I don't think that counts as being in #1. I knew before I was baptized that if I had not been born into the church, I never would have joined. But it was still my world and I probably did not have the cognitive ability to sort it out. So, I grew up with the niggling doubts, thinking I must be crazy to think Joseph Smith was a narcissistic child. Of course, I didn't have a word for narcissistic. But I knew that I did not like the man. And I knew before I was baptized, that if I had not been born into the church, I never would have joined, because I found it too unbelievable.

My only anger at the church was for making my childhood sexual abuse more difficult to heal from. And, yeah, there was anger at that.

So as far as belief, I grew in unbelief as a gradual process. Never had illusions to disillusion. But it was my tribe and even though I did not agree with their superstition, it was still my people.

I did have a destabilizing event when I discovered that the church was emotionally abusive and that the community was unsafe for me and had been continually dragging me back into the emotional mess that abuse left in my life. So, I had the decision that my tribe was killing me, but that doesn't fit on the chart well.

Red Ryder wrote: ↑Fri Feb 23, 2018 9:40 am

græy wrote: ↑Fri Feb 23, 2018 8:49 am Nice find Red Ryder!

I followed the BIC -> 1 -> 2 -> 5 -> 6 -> 5 -> 7 path, and now I feel like I've been bouncing between 5, 6, and 7 for two straight years. Some days I feel almost resigned to just staying where I am. Other days, I feel like I can't get out fast enough.

I tumbled in that 5, 6, 7 cycle for a few years myself. Opening up and talking with like minded people and creating new friendships has helped to end it. It takes time and an ability to become indifferent. (Corsair is right again....)

Yeah, in that 5-6-7 tumble currently. No way back to 1 or 2. 8-9 looks good much of the time but just stuck here in this eddy.

I feel much like Alas. I was at #2 from a young age, but it was my tribe and until I went away to college, I didn't have much of a choice on not attending. I got active again after marriage, but still never fully bought it.

When I got divorced and moved away from the "village", I took the opportunity to never return to the tribe. I didn't learn all the dirty secrets until 2008ish when a friend invited me to join FLAK. I mean, I knew some stuff, but, whoa!

I pretty much went from 2 to 10.

Late stage 9 and maybe early stage 10.

I still read this site and Reddit ExMo. So haven't quite restarted completely, but getting closer.

My views on things have changed a little, and I have had a lot of time to think. I am pretty much a 10. There was a lot of sexual repression happening in my later years.

9.5 If I could give up internet discussion of Mormonism, I'd be a solid 10.

Many people I know now have no idea that I used to be Mormon, and I really don't feel a need for them to know. Other people can discuss their religion in front of me, and I just say "that's nice" and then discuss what I want to discuss. It's a good place to be.

Red Ryder wrote: ↑Fri Feb 23, 2018 9:40 am

græy wrote: ↑Fri Feb 23, 2018 8:49 am Nice find Red Ryder!

I followed the BIC -> 1 -> 2 -> 5 -> 6 -> 5 -> 7 path, and now I feel like I've been bouncing between 5, 6, and 7 for two straight years. Some days I feel almost resigned to just staying where I am. Other days, I feel like I can't get out fast enough.

I tumbled in that 5, 6, 7 cycle for a few years myself. Opening up and talking with like minded people and creating new friendships has helped to end it. It takes time and an ability to become indifferent. (Corsair is right again....)

Hear, Hear. That 5, 6, 7 cycle seems to be dragging on for me. I'm not sure but at the same time I think 8 is occurring.

4-6-7, now almost solidly in 8, but with flashes of 6.

I'm not ready for 9 yet. A big part of my 8 has been researching why people believe what they believe, why we're all so damned convinced, and why we make people's lives so difficult when they decide to believe something else. Before I try to belong anywhere again, I need to be able to belong without drinking the Kool-Aid, and without defending myself against doing so by being suspicious and jaded.

Reuben wrote: ↑Fri Mar 02, 2018 2:23 am 4-6-7, now almost solidly in 8, but with flashes of 6.

I'm not ready for 9 yet. A big part of my 8 has been researching why people believe what they believe, why we're all so damned convinced, and why we make people's lives so difficult when they decide to believe something else. Before I try to belong anywhere again, I need to be able to belong without drinking the Kool-Aid, and without defending myself against doing so by being suspicious and jaded.

That idea about before you try to belong anywhere again, you want to belong without drinking the Koolaid without defending yourself by being suspicious and jaded, really hit home with me. I have had enough negative experiences with groups, even secular clubs and work environments, that I am just suspicious and cynical about humans. Since the time I quit working, I have kind of isolated myself. So, really, the only thing I have not done is reach out for new community and I find myself actively resisting the idea. I don't want a community because most humans are somewhere between twits and jerks. I don't really like this aspect of myself, but then again, I don't want to be burned again by still another group.